I have a friend that I have a lot in common with. We are both single parents of autistic children, we both have split from our abusive exes, both have difficult relationships with immediate family, two of our children go to the same special school.
However whenever I have a problem, she will mention that her problem is somehow worse than mine, and I usually sympathise because I know it is a matter of perspective and that it probably does feel worse to her because she has mental health issues and struggles with stress so I let it go.
Whenever I am dating a new man, she is quick to turn a lot of things into potential red flags. I was seeing someone for around 8 months, and she said he was using me, that he introduced me to his family too quickly, and now that I have remained friends with him she thinks he is possessive and not letting me move on, which isn't true, he is just a lovely guy and I don't want to lose him as a friend.
I have done quit a bit of OLD and she will say that I should be careful to not get raped, that he might be married or with someone, etc etc. Never anything good.
The latest thing is that I have a crush on someone and she met him not long ago. I think the chemistry is mutual between me and him and I know he is single. She however has said that he mentioned his girlfriend a lot, that he talked about her constantly. So I asked him and he told me that he is definitely single. I don't know if I should believe her. She has told me that he obviously denied it to me for a reason, that he just wants to use me. I find it difficult to believe her.
Now I don't know how to proceed. I like him, he likes me, and I want to get to know him. It is rare that I meet anyone in real life that I have chemistry with these days.
What would you do?
What should I do?