How did you know you were depressed?

[espressogin]

Just that really? I have been having days of feeling very low since having my son 2 years ago but I'm not sure whether it is normal?

Looking around and seeing the beautiful place i was living, looking at my gorgeous children but feeling flat and dead inside, having no energy or enthusiasm for anything.

No mental energy for doing even fun things that I'd normally enjoy. Withdrawing from the world.

Didn't want to read, didn't want to listen to music, had no motivation, didn't really feel anything. Life felt grey. My children would hug me and I wouldn't feel it emotionally. I would fly into rages at the smallest provocation and was constantly irritable.

But. I do think you don't notice how bad things are until you start to feel better. The first time my youngest cuddled me and gave me a kiss and I felt joy was astounding to me. I didn't know that I hadn't felt that for the two years I had PND. And so I feel like I missed out on the beauty of her babyhood.

If you think you might have depression do you go to your GP and talk about it. There are so many ways to treat it and once you start feeling better it's an immeasurable relief.

I think everyone else has said it well.

I also had the type of depression where I have intrusive thoughts and hallucinations (eg. Voices telling me to kill myself). There's a bit of time when I know I'm not doing well and then I'm too poorly to tell I'm ill.

Hopefully you can connect with support in your area and get well soon x

I was depressed as a child/ adolescent/ student so I don't really remember.
However, things fell apart for me last year, and, while I didn't know what was wrong, I knew from past experience that I wasn't depressed, because I didn't feel a continuous deep, dark despair. I could look at the blue sky and sunshine and my children and beautiful things and feel happy to see them. Someone above described depression as everything feels grey, I agree with that, and I knew I wasn't depressed because everything wasn't grey, not in any long-term anyway, there were grey days but depression felt grey for weeks/ months not just a couple of days. Also, I knew I wasn't depressed because I had hope that things could and would get better, when I depressed I didn't believe that.
I don't think what you described sounds normal, no, and I agree with everyone else that you might want to think about talking to someone about you feel and what might help.

Everything was an effort even things I used to enjoy doing. Lack of motivation. Withdrawing from people, avoiding social situations. Sleeping to just pass the time.

Just felt dead inside, nothing made me feel happy .

I didn't want to die but I didn't want to live either

Yes, exactly what PrincessHoneysuckle said as well.

Unable to get out of bed. No interest in anything. Couldn’t read, couldn’t watch TV, couldn’t eat.

As someone else said I just felt dead inside. I didn't want to wake up. Didn't eat, lost weight and felt sick all the time. Didn't like going out even to my friends house. Didn't do housework, I either cried all the time. I felt like a worthless piece of shit tbh. My days were spent feeling like I was heart broken and in despair. Eventually it lead to me wanting to end it all, the scary thing was that my kids wasn't enough for me to stop having these thoughts at the time and that really scared me

Most of the time I didn't feel much of anything at all. I couldn't summon up the energy to do normal things; I used to get to work, shut myself in my office, and sit staring ahead in the dark, sometimes for hours, before I was able to force myself to turn the computer on and actually do anything. (Yes, this did cause problems in my career, for obvious reasons.) When I got home I'd sit in the car in the driveway, trying to gather the motivation to go into the house and go through the motions of the evening. There just didnt seem to be any point to any of it.