Does anyone else older and who lives alone do this?

[Minionoftheantichrist]

I’m nearly 60 and over the last year have started making sure my flat is extra neat and tidy - plumped cushions, no mess, washing up done, kitchen counters clean, etc - before turning in for the night. I’ve always been tidy but as I’ve got older I don’t want to die in the night and for my flat to be found in a mess. I’ve got a genetic condition but it’s not one that shortens life and I’ve not got any other major health concerns so am not quite sure why I do this. But it feels important to me somehow, along with making sure paperwork is in good order. Does anyone else do this. I do feel a bit depressed and wonder if this is a manifestation of my mood but I’m not sure. Paperwork I’ve always kept in good order as I was really thankful to my father for making his so easy to sort out after he died. This tidying though is more recent.

I’m 3 years older than you but always done this. Just can’t get up to a mess in the morning.

I'm 23 and do this! Every night my downstairs, hallway and bathroom are left spotless. I can deal with some clothes and unmade beds being slept in at night, but every morning clothes are put in laundry baskets and beds are made. I cannot sleep if I've left the washing up.

Im not 'older' or living alone, but between us Dh and I do this every night before bed.

It would just annoy me having to come downstairs first thing and finish clearing stuff from yesterday before i can start today.

Ie clean dishwasher emptied, any washing up left drying away, cat bowl washed and away, random bits left out away.

Means now, i have just come downstairs, can feed pestering cat from clean bowl without having to wash first, have a cup ready for tea without unloading etc.. So i can just make tea, feed cat and sit down 10 mins to start my day. Also if i am up, and straight out, it would annoy me even more to get home at 6pm to find everything still needed doing from night before.

I live alone(and am getting on a bit!) and have found myself doing this too since the last time I had a bug which left me stuck in bed for quite a few hours feeling too dizzy to venture down the stairs. I was very much aware that I wouldn't have been able to answer the door to anyone so have got in the habit of taking the door keys upstairs with me at night with the thinking that if I was ever too ill to get downstairs I could at least chuck them out of the window.

So why is it a problem? It doesn't do any harm. In fact it's a Good Thing.

I live alone and am in my 50’s. I merrily leave stuff till the next day. I can’t stand having to get up after dinner and start cleaning. I have a dishwasher so I just stick whatever dishes/pots etc I’ve used on the side and sort it in the morning. If I died in the night then I couldn’t care less if there’s some dirty dishes not done! I think that would be the least of my problems! But then I’ve always been this way. I find it easier to do stuff in the morning than at night, so waking up to it just doesn’t bother me. I grew up in a very regimented household and I couldn’t stand it and I think I’ve always sort of rebelled against that.

You are a kind lady,thinking of making other people’s lives easier. You are also organised and self aware.in addition to the care you take of all the things mentioned I really hope you put having fun alongside. When the end comes you may not be thinking “I wish I’d cleaned up more.i wish I had someone as thoughtful in my life.your family are blessed.cx

Going through a nightly ritual that in your mind is in case you die overnight - does it make you feel more depressed or less depressed?

If doing it makes you feel calmer and lighter and more able to get on with living, then great. If it instead makes you feel down and despondent and inclined to withdraw from life, then that's a problem.

My back went a few years ago and all I could think of was what a state my flat was in (think bomb gone off in every room) and tried to hobble around to clear the worst before dp/doctor visits. That has stayed with me and I too keep things far more tidy (not for death!) but just general emergency type situations.

Agree fully re paperwork. I’ve lost both parents (divorced) over the last couple of years - one’s paperwork was an absolute nightmare mess - the other’s was all squared away ! Definitely not leaving my affairs in chaos for my dp to have to try to sort out !

My mum has always done this, she's around your age now and still does it. She won't leave any sort of mess or cleaning, even during the day- if she's cooked a meal she will wash the pans before she eats then wash the plates immediately 'just in case'.

My grandmother has taken it a step further, we all know where her folder is with the paperwork, it's labelled and has guidance notes. On top of everything being spotless she puts out everything for breakfast before bed- so her pills laid out, mug with coffee and sugar in it, bowl with cereal in, milk bottle next to them, kettle filled with exactly enough water.... all 'just in case'. We're not sure what the scenario is that this is needed though.

There's actually a phrase for it in Swedish- "death sweep". Means getting your affairs in order.

No , not yet . I do not live alone either. However, if we are going on holiday I like to make sure the fridge and washing basket and bins are empty.
Just in case we do not return.

The Swedish death sweep is interesting. There seems a difference between those of us who tidy up because they don’t like getting up to a mess in the morning and those who don’t want to be found dead in a messy home with the cat eating us. unfathomable' I don’t feel more depressed doing this each night but nor do I feel calmer or lighter. I just think I’m hyper aware of how fragile life is and that every day could be the last. I’m not scared sort of just aware. I do think that I’m depressed at the moment though so this thought is more prominent.

I think mine comes from growing up in a super unorganised house. I used to hate having to rush around finding clean school uniform, finding a pen, or a clean bowl. I guess it led me to go the other way. My house isn't spotless or completely clutter free, but everything has its place and stuff can always be found straight away.

caspian my DD is the opposite of me. She is messy, disorganised and has no special place for important stuff. I feel she’s rebelled against her tidy, organised home growing up. Saying that, my parents were super tidy and organised and my DBs and I are too.

I love the idea of it but I'm on a losing battle. I go to bed early (around 10pm) and Dteens are often up until midnight. If I clean the kitchen, plump up the cushions etc when I come down next morning there are dirty dishes on the counters and discarded clothes on the sofas. When they are off at uni, I look forward to coming down to the order I left the place in.

OP I love the idea of waking up to complete calm and order. As long as it is not becoming an OCD problem for you, but is a source of peace, why not?

Not really, but I do do a really good clean on the day before I have a day off from work, so I can come down for my morning cuppa and not have to think I'm going to spend my day off cleaning!

Which was horrible when I had an emergency admission to hospital in June and my kids had to come and rummage through stuff to get a bag together for me. Place was reasonably tidy, but...even so...