Need a good talking to regarding going to Gum clinic

[TubbyMcTat77]

Just need a slap tbh. I know I'm being childish.

Have had weird symptoms for a while now. Had a swab test and urine test at doctors which both came back clear but they don't test for every single thing (although it did include the 'popular' STIs like chlamydia and gonorrhoea). I know that in order to get a full test I need to go to the Gum clinic. I've been putting it off for ages and ages and have finally booked an appointment today for a few weeks time - earliest I could get.

Why am I feeling so nervous and dreading it? There's still such a stigma around sexual health clinics. I have no issue with discussing these things with a Gp but something about the clinic make me squirm. I'm worried about stupid things like if someone sees me there. And of course having the chat with dp if something comes back amiss. I know I should be able to talk to him about these things but we haven't been together that long and it's awkward.

Can someone please give me some reassurance...and a slap lol.

Here, have some reassurance and a slap!
It'll be fine. We are conditioned to consider pretty much anything that relates to sex or to our genitals as taboo. That's why you feel ick about going. But it's nonsense. You'd not feel the same way about going to the elbow clinic. Call it that in your diary.
If there is something wrong then far better to catch it now.
You'll be fine.

Oh and ps is a man who you don't want to talk sexual health with / will be weird about it a man you want to have sex with? Just a thought.

Is your DP attending the GUM clinic too?

Just make the appointment, it is no biggy!

It's not that, we have spoken about it before. Both screened for the main ones before we slept together so thought we were ok. I've discovered there's a sti nobody seems to know about called Trichomoniasis which isn't routinely tested for at the GP and I have symptoms that match it :/

So yeah it could be either of us. As comfortable as I am with him I don't really want to discuss the grim symptoms.

Ive been because our local gum offers drop in and to be honest i was too embarrassed to speak to gp. Going to a specialist seemed better!

It was fine, and actually it helped me realise that actually i was far more worried about my sexual health than i realised.

All is good!

Just go along. It won't be at all bad.

The staff in the gum clinic will all be completely non-judgemental and only care about your health. They'll see it as only positive that you've come to be checked out. If you need treatment, they may well just give you the antibiotics there and then.

The waiting room will be full of people who've also come to the GUM clinic. I don't think there is as much stigma about testing these days as you're imagining. Lots of young(er) people see getting checked as a routine part of their healthcare and nothing else. Just like you go to a dentist for a check up, you also go to a gum clinic when you've got a new partner etc.

And you could be there for one of many, many things. There will be people in there for testing and treatment for STIs, but also people in to access various forms of contraception and other areas of sexual health. Our local one has services for erectile dysfunction, psychosexual counseling and even community gynaecology. There's no way of knowing what anyone is there for.

They're also super discreet. They call just your first name for example, and would use a different name if you asked. The whole service is designed on the understanding that people do feel awkward and to try to minimize this.

Honestly, no-one looks forward to going to the GUM clinic do they, but its actually fine once you’re there, like any ‘normal’ medical appt, going to the dentist etc.
It’s easy to build it up in your head as much scarier than it actually is, then once you’ve been, you wonder what you were worried about.
Don’t be worried about someone seeing you, and if there is someone there that you know, well, so what? They’re there too, you’d be in the same situation.

With regards to telling your DP if something is up, I can totally understand your concern, HOWEVER, if he’s a decent guy, he’ll be understanding.
Believe me, I’ve been there.
I’d only had 2 dates with my DP when I knew from the outset that this was going to be a serious relationship and that we’d be sleeping together next time we saw each other. I was given herpes by the last guy I was seeing so I HAD to tell DP before things got physical. I told him by text, and it was excruciating typing it out, but he messaged back straight away to say he was glad i was honest and respected me even more.
We’ve been together nearly 2 years, and it hasn’t affected our sex life at all.

So, long story short: DON’T WORRY!

I'm worried about stupid things like if someone sees me there

If anyone sees you there then they are there too!

Do you have DC? Because if you do, you'll need to get over your embarrassment before they get to the teenage years as you'll presumably want to encourage them to be safe and see sexual health clinics as normal?

I didn't realise people still feel there's a stigma as I'd be much more embarrassed about not having been tested/treated.

Honestly, OP, it's completely normal to go - no-one will out you as a scarlet woman because it's 2019!

I know how daft it sounds, I'm embarrassed typing it! I'm a woman in my thirties and otherwise confident but I just don't like the idea of it. I took home tests or went to GP previously and thought all was fine only to find out that this one sti isn't routinely tested for. So it's literally just to confirm or exclude that. So annoying.

I work in sexual health. It really is no big deal. People also go to the GUM clinic for all kinds of things- birth control, smears, some offer counselling and other sorts of support services. I had my coil inserted and had my most recent smear there. It’s not just about STIs.

That said, if you want to know sooner. You can order postal tests (some through the NHS, depending on services offered in your area). But Boots, etc also sell STI tests that test for pretty much everything the GUM clinic can tests for. Downside is, if you need treatment, then you still need an appointment for that. But might be worth it for peace of mind.

Trichomoniasis tends to cause green ish frothy discharge and intense itching. You would probably notice something wasn’t r

Wasn’t right, I meant to say.

@mindutopia well it isn't frothy or itchy but I have noticed a colour change and that's what makes me think it could be Trichomoniasis. Everything else has been ruled out. The gp swab tested for BV, thrush and other STIs but apparently Trichomoniasis isn't routinely tested for in most places. Loads of people (including me) haven't even heard of it. It was only when I googled my symptoms that it came up.

I know I need to put on my big girl pants and just go. I'm frightened of the result and having to have the chat with dp if that's what it is but it's got to be done.

You’ll be fine, I go every six months when I’m single.

Trichmoniasis normally shows symptoms in the first 30 days if the suffer experiences symptoms. So probably not that, but if it is it’s easily sorted with a few days of antibiotics.