Teen Curfews

[SpottyDressingGown]

DS has asked for a general curfew. Usually, he will text or call after school and ask if he can go to town, friends place, or somewhere. It is generally a yes, be home by six - as long as I know where he is/who he is with then fine. It is very rare that I say no.

He has asked for a 7.30pm curfew with just a text saying where he is going. (rather than asking)

For some reason, it feels like 1) too late and 2) asking rather than telling is polite and appropriate? - after all, even at 14 he is still a child?

What is normal at this age?

Well...I have a 15 year old DD and she does not ask if she can go somewhere after school...she just texts or calls to tell me.

I see no issue with this. She goes to the same places...varies them but always the same. Either to one of her friends...there are around 4 friends who seem to have houses where the kids are allowed to visit...or they go to McDonalds in the next town.

Sometimes they go to the shopping centre to look at the shops and have coffee.

She always tells me and would not think to ask. If there were a special reason I needed her home..then I would tell her before school.

7.30 is a tad late on a school night but it's not terrible...mine is usually back by 6 or at the latest 6.30.

I would compromise and say he can just let you know where he's going but that 7.30 is too late really. If he has homework then he won't have time to do it coming in that late.

Is he on half term this week? Why not allow a bit of extra flexibility for that? It is only 1.5 hours later than normal.

If you hardly ever say no, he probably thinks it makes more sense just to treat it as an arrangement as if between adults so that you don't worry.

We've always had a general expectation that they're home for dinner (though certain fixed activities make dinner later). For this reason I would have balked at a generalised 7.30: in my book, being out for a meal involves specific arrangements.

During the day we've always worked on the "letting me know" basis - we're half an hour's walk from the centre of our small city which they have to pass through on the way home from school.