I'm really struggling

[BrightSpells]

I lost my partner to suicide two months ago.

My MH wasn't great before that.

I feel like I'm dying. I'm expected to go to work today, I went yesterday. I just feel like screaming and screaming and screaming until I can't breath anymore.

Can you go to your dr instead and be signed off? You need to take more time and your workplace are not being reasonable. I'm so sorry this has happened to you

I absolutely agree you need more time off. 2 months is not enough to deal with something like this!

I am signed off. I'm risking loosing my job though, covering me is hard. I'm just sitting around sobbing all day, I thought it might help getting out - it did in a way but I can't take the afterwards. I just don't want to do this anymore. It's too hard.

Hey BrightSpells. Please don't suffer alone. You could try phoning Cruse:

The Cruse Bereavement Care Freephone National Helpline is staffed by trained bereavement volunteers, who offer emotional support to anyone affected by bereavement.

The helpline is open Monday-Friday 9.30-5pm (excluding bank holidays), with extended hours on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday evenings, when we’re open until 8pm.

The number is 0808 808 1677

Also sobs - survivors of bereavement by suicide:

uksobs.org/we-can-help/helpline/

Oh OP. So sorry for your loss. It’s so recent and so raw and painful. You will get through it. But you do need to reach out and talk to someone. Every day if you need to. Call the helplines

You just need to keep breathing in and out for now. Just try and focus on that. You will get through this and life will be worth living again, it may take a few years but honestly hang in there any way you can. When we lost my dad my mum had nearly a year off work and then went back part time in the end. It's a long, hard process but there is light at the end of it.

I can't afford to be off work. I was in a shit state financially as it was without eight weeks of ssp.

I called cruse, they were great. But now I'm off the phone and it's still as shit as it was before.

Please, please go and see your GP. You need something to help you NOW! If you can't get your head straight, you can't function. It all starts with getting your thoughts in order, so that you can at least deal with important stuff. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Do check out help groups close by or online.

Dont keep your feelings to yourself.
Good luck, you're not alone 🤝

@MirkwoodMiss how can they help though? Nothings going to fix this.

Are you alone? What is your family situation like? And your friends? Are you getting support from them?

I can't imagine what you must feel like. I'm so sorry for your loss.

A bit of support. It's a difficult situation and I think after 2 months most people expect me to have got it together more. Not that close to my family. They're not an emotional bunch.

I'm not alone all the time but I mostly am.

Are you on any meds? Something to get you cope?

They've given me some antidepressants but I'm wary of taking them. I've taken them before, I'm not sure why I'm not taking them tbh

Oh sweet, this is awful. You're not going to feel great for a good while. I don't know what to say but wanted you not to feel alone.
I'm here to chat xx