Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Feel so ashamed

29 replies

namechangedyetagain · 31/10/2019 07:38

I drank a whole bottle of wine last night. A whole bottle. Half term is a struggle. Weather not good, bickering children, short of money (pay day today). Just feeling very wobbly in general.

And now i hate myself even moreSad. I'm a shitty mum and the children deserve better.

OP posts:
Rachel438 · 31/10/2019 07:40

We've all been there. Today is a new day Flowers

YippeeKayakOtherBuckets · 31/10/2019 07:41

You have the Fear. Have some salty crisps and a can of fat coke and you’ll be fine by lunchtime.

I quite often sink a bottle of wine midweek and so do most people I know. You haven’t actually done anything wrong or anything you should be ashamed about. You must know this?

Don’t dwell on it. You’re not going to end up in a gutter swigging extra strength lager.

Mollpop · 31/10/2019 07:44

Oh sweetheart, please don't be so hard on yourself. The fact that you're struggling doesn't make you a bad mum, it makes you human.

Some people drink a whole bottle of wine every single night (I'm not suggesting this is a good thing) and it sounds like you're being really hard on yourself. Try to cut yourself some slack. If you're feeling really down, talking to a friend or your GP might help

Waffles80 · 31/10/2019 07:44

Are you generally concerned about your drinking, or is this a one off? I don’t ask that with any judgement.

Ghoulestofmums · 31/10/2019 07:44

You are not, not, not a shitty mum. We’ve all been there - you’re a human being, not an automaton. Shame would be drinking 3 or 4 bottles and being totally out of it. Give yourself a break.

Marlena1 · 31/10/2019 07:46

We all need to let off steam sometimes, children are really flippin hard work! Try and get some rest and food if you can x

Sizeofalentil · 31/10/2019 07:48

It's only a bottle of wine- not a syringe full of heroin. The real shit mums wouldn't feel an ounce of remorse. You sound lovely to me

Ps. A bottle of wine isn't even that much / a big deal. Not as an occasional thing. You're doing great if this has knocked you for six

Beerincomechampagnetastes · 31/10/2019 07:49

Don’t let your upset about yesterday affect how you behave today op.
Pull yourself together and don’t let the dc see you down.
Be the best mother you can be today and you’ll feel much better , I promise.

Oh and be kind to yourself Flowers

Original poster
namechangedyetagain · 31/10/2019 07:50

I do drink more than I used to. Not every day but more than I did. Without being too outing it helps numb the pain of loss. I'm having bereavement counselling and also on anti depressants. Despite this some days I still struggle. Usually when I have a day off and my mind wanders.

I just feel so shitty as I don't have the oomph to get a grip of myself.

OP posts:
rollon2020 · 31/10/2019 07:53

Fresh start today Thanks
I'd been cutting down drink over the last few months but been a bit sh*t haven't done very well over the last few days so feel very similar

I'm sure you are in no way a bad mother, you just needed some you time

ScreamingCosArgosHaveNoRavens · 31/10/2019 07:55

I don't think as a one-off it's a big deal at all. You will have 'the fear' today as others have said and that will make it seem worse than it is, but tomorrow, once it's out of your system, it will go back into proportion Flowers.

CanIGetARefund · 31/10/2019 07:55

No it doesn't make you a bad mum. But it's not great for your health drinking so many units in one go. The problem with alcohol is we intend to have one glass, but it makes us disinhibited. So we have another etc. I have solved this problem by never buying more units than I intend to drink in one go. Also switching to beer can keep your units down. There is a really good book by Annie Grace called Control Alcohol that might help.

Ugzbugz · 31/10/2019 08:23

I do that a few times a month at home, and I dont really feel.guilty just fat! Honestly dont beat yourself up, go and have a nice breakfast with the kids and today is a new day, tea and cake tonight and an early night x

Original poster
namechangedyetagain · 31/10/2019 08:37

I am going to finally fill the car with petrol and take the children out today. A change of scenery would be helpful I think. Have planned a nice healthy dinner tonight - with no wine!

OP posts:
IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 31/10/2019 08:54

After a whole bottle last night, won’t you still be over the limit?

Original poster
namechangedyetagain · 31/10/2019 09:01

I'm not sure. How would I know? Im not going out just yet anyway but now I'm really worried I can't go out today.

OP posts:
Horsemad · 31/10/2019 09:07

What time did you stop drinking? Might be better to wait until after lunch/early afternoon before driving. And eat breakfast & lunch as well.

Original poster
namechangedyetagain · 31/10/2019 09:10

Stopped about 9.45. Started drinking about 5.30 ish.

I'll wait a bit. See because of me being stupid and selfish I'm buggering up today as well

OP posts:
superking · 31/10/2019 09:16

You should be fine to drive. 10 units in a (strong) bottle of wine. Your body clears about one unit per hour. It's nearly 12 hours since you stopped drinking so there shouldn't be any left in your system.

Please don't beat yourself up. If you were drinking a whole bottle every night or a few times a week it would be a problem. As a one off it's going to make you feel pretty rubbish the next day but it doesn't make you a bad mum.

Princessfaffalot · 31/10/2019 09:16

It takes your body an hour to process a unit of alcohol, a bottle of wine is 10 units so as you stopped drinking at 9:45pm by 7:45am you would have been fine to drive. You’ll be fine. And please don’t beat yourself up, today is a new day! I have a lot of weight to lose (about 4 stone after losing 2 so far) and I had a rubbish few days not eating great and drinking but today is a fresh start. Kids are hard and it’s even harder to keep them entertained when you’re broke! Head out today and enjoy yourself, wear them out then come home and have a lovely dinner and watch a feel good movie, maybe a bath and a good nights sleep and you’ll feel so much better. Be kind to yourself Flowers

CakeNinja · 31/10/2019 09:29

Sounds like you will have a nice day out today.
Don’t beat yourself around the head over drinking a bottle of wine, it’s done now and you have nice dinner plans for this evening so you can look forward to that.
I’m feeling hormonally irritable, I hate everyone and everything at the moment and my 2 Teen dds are in a mood with each other. Lots of low level snippiness and it’s pissing me off! I just want an hour or two on my own when no one talks to me, asks me for a lift/money or asks if they can have 5 friends round to eat all our food and make a mess Grin

Staywithmemyblood · 31/10/2019 09:36

Hey! 👋🏼 As PPs have said, don't beat yourself up. You'll be fine. Go and enjoy your day out with the kids 😊☀️

Feel so ashamed
Kalim8 · 31/10/2019 15:50

You're expecting yourself to "have the ooomph" whilst bereaved and on ADs, this is very sad to read.
You are doing what you can, in sad circumstances, please try and change that inner voice that's being so harsh and mean to yourself and treat yourself with kindness and gentleness instead.

RogueV · 31/10/2019 15:55

Sorry you are feeling like crap OP

But the folks saying drinking so much midweek is ok are on cuckoo land

So much denial over midweek drinking

Is it the UK drinking culture?!

Original poster
namechangedyetagain · 31/10/2019 19:56

I don't know if it's a drinking culture. All of my colleagues certainly drink midweek (maybe not a whole bottle).

But I've stuck to tea and water today. Which is good but I've eaten chocolate instead 😮

OP posts: