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Original poster

AIBU

9 replies

jollie99 · 30/10/2019 22:38

Should I have the right to feel cross that my husband is transferring large amounts of money to his daughters from his previous marriage without even mentioning it to me first? His daughters are 24 and 19 and both work.

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 30/10/2019 22:40

Lots more info is needed.

UsernameTaken76 · 30/10/2019 22:42

Do you have joint shared finances or is he doing this from his sole money

Original poster
jollie99 · 31/10/2019 08:04

Good question - our finances are completely separate but he earns a lot more than I do and had a large inheritance recently. I just paid half of the bill to have the downstairs decorated, which has left me a bit short. It annoys me that he is happy to let me pay half whilst at the same time giving his daughters £5,000 each. On top of this he has given them both a car and the eldest got a deposit for a house last year too (3,500). I have two sons who are 20 and 17. They are both full time students who work hard to support themselves.

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HilaryBriss · 31/10/2019 09:37

YABU. If your finances are completely separate then as long as he pays his way with the bills etc then I think he can do whatever he likes with the rest.

I assume that the inheritance came from a family member so sharing it with his daughters wouldn't be an issue to me.

It would be completely different if your finances were shared.

Original poster
jollie99 · 31/10/2019 20:28

Thank you Hilary. I sort of agree with you. My only issue is that when I pay half for things like the decorating, it is a big financial commitment for me but not for him. I then have to cut back elsewhere.

I also have two children and I have been with him for 13 years now. My boys were very young when we got together and I am supporting them through college and university. It feels a bit like 'them and us.'
It seems unfair that he is happy for me to pay half when he has so much more than I do and also his daughters do seem to have an expectation that he will keep giving them money. They both work full time but constantly expect him to support them financially.

OP posts:
MummytoE · 14/01/2020 14:48

I would be annoyed to op but more so about the fact that he is doing this without even talking to you. It does seem very much like us and them like you said. Regardless of who has what money and whose kids are whose etc if you guys are married or in a relationship then big things like this need discussed. X

MummytoE · 14/01/2020 14:51

Sorry not sure how I missed that this was from 2 and a half months ago lol hope it got sorted x

Original poster
jollie99 · 14/02/2020 16:53

Thank you for responding. Even though it was a while ago your comments are still helpful. I usually admit if I'm wrong but the fact I still feel a bit miffed makes me think I have a point.

OP posts:
DysonFury · 16/03/2020 17:33

Fuck that. Why should you struggle while he lives like a king? What sort of man thinks this is acceptable?

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