I feel like a shit Mum

[KatnissMellark]

I'm nearly 8 weeks pregnant. Desperately wanted the pregnancy. It's taken 4 rounds of IVF and 2 miscarriages to get here. I'm on shit loads of drugs and I am SO. FUCKING. EXHAUSTED. It's been a hard year, including a horrible op and cancer scare. Am shitting myself re another miscarriage. Working full time. Have a 2.5yo DC from previous multiple fertility treatments (similar story to this pregnancy) and it's all I can do to drag him home of an evening, make some toast and stick the TV on. He's going through a difficult stage as dropping his nap so is super grumpy and demanding on an evening too and I've no patience for it. We've both got colds.

I just feel like I should be coping better, appreciating what I've got more and not many and tired and emotional all the time

I remember the first trimester and your not a terrible mum, it’s bloody hard with another child to care for it doesn’t bear thinking about

It’s going to be a few more weeks of this but hurrah cold winter nights have arrived so carpet picnics and cuddles with your first baby and a nice cosy blanket with as much tv you need for survival you can go back to being a super mum in a months time when the hormones settle ... dh can be the entertainment he isn’t making a small human inside of himself x

DS is almost 2, I've got a 6 week old and it's hard! I too am really struggling because everyone else I know seems to be coping well but I'm not. I know I've got PND though so I'm also battling that.

DS also seems to be dropping his naps. He's a pain in the butt.

You aren't a shit mum, you are tired and ill and drained from the IVF.

Cut yourself some slack

Your child won't remember that one night you just couldn't

I felt like this when I was pregnant with my twins, I just had no energy and would come home and plonk DS1 in front of the tele and nap. He doesn’t remember it and he’s doing perfectly fine now, if it’s what you need to get by for the next few weeks then that’s fine

That first trimester exhaustion if you suffer from it is utterly utterly unbelievably exhausting. I have never gone to bed so early in my life and slept so much!!! Only really had it with my 4th but it was such a shock.

You're not a shit mum, you're taking care of your child even though you're exhausted. He won't suffer from more telly than usual for a little while, and will enjoy the extra cuddles with you. Be kind to yourself

Don’t worry, just be kind to yourself, you have been through so much! It’s hard enough having a 2.5 year old without all the other stuff on top of it.
You won’t always feel like this but cut yourself some slack in the meantime. When I was pregnant with my 2nd child, my three year old watched a lot of CBeebies in my first trimester. I was so exhausted, I couldn’t handle going out. I’m sure she just ate the same stuff all the time. All I could eat was toast as I was so nauseous. We snuggled under the duvet a lot watching tv. Anyway the point is she is now a very healthy and thriving eight year old and it’s all fine!
Congratulations on your pregnancy You will all be just fine, it’s just a season of life and it’ll all get better.

This won't be a very popular opinion... but could you just call in sick for a few days...?! Feign a migraine or something and curl up in bed for a few days?!

Thanks everyone, you've made me feel marginally better

@Chillisauceboss I've just said to DH it's getting to the point where I'm gonna have to phone in sick, I just can't cope

You deserve a break. Take two days off, take your son to his usual daycare. Ensure the house is all tidy (so you're not tempted by chores) make sure the fridge is stocked up and have two days from 9-5ish tucked up in bed with magazines and Netflix (I think I'm talking myself into this let alone you!!)

No matter how precious this pregnancy is to you, it's a massive change to your body and its normal to feel exhausted. You're very busy with work, your first child and also unwell. Try to get an early night if you can and plan a quiet weekend. TV on for your LO, or see if your partner can take him to the park while you rest.

Congratulations

dh can be the entertainment he isn’t making a small human inside of himself

Yes, exactly!

Congratulations!
And no you're not a shit mum! You're just like the rest of us trying to muddle through. But you've a young child, a job and are in first trimester of pregnancy ..... Any wonder you're exhausted! Go easy on your self x