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Original poster

Worried about music/ no one singing in the church at wedding

71 replies

ScarlettsHoopedSkirt · 30/10/2019 19:07

Neither of us are musical and we don't have musical friends or family we can ask to lead the singing.

We're getting married in quite a big church so I'm worried it will be quite flat!

OP posts:
squashyhat · 30/10/2019 19:52

As long as you don't have All Things Bright and Beautiful. I love a good hymn but even I dissolved into sniggers at 'the purple-headed mountain'.

DriftingLeaves · 30/10/2019 19:54

We paid to have the choir.

ToTheRegimentIWishIWasThere · 30/10/2019 19:59

As long as you don't have All Things Bright and Beautiful. I love a good hymn but even I dissolved into sniggers at 'the purple-headed mountain

Seconded. Grin

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Weddings
strawbmilk · 30/10/2019 20:04

We only had 12 at our wedding so I feel your pain. It was also in a big church. It all comes down to hymn choice and not picking any big numbers. We wanted Jerusalem but it would have been ridiculous with so few of us! I can't actually remember what we had in the end Confused

Corneysjazzband · 30/10/2019 20:15

Church choirs are absolutely used to congregations that don't know hymns or lack confidence. I think of it as our job (I run the local church choir) to give the congregation a lead so they pick up tunes they may not know and feel more confident in joining in. In our church, the choir gets by far the best view in a wedding so we love them! We get to see the faces of the couple getting married and really enjoy being part of their day. We do charge a fee, though in practice most adult members donate this into church funds. Any children take their money.
We can always tell when one of the couple went to the village primary school. They all choose the hymn that leavers sing at the end of year 6.
If they are a competent choir, they might be able to sing during the signing of the registers. This takes a while and congregations can get chatty and a bit restless.

Original poster
ScarlettsHoopedSkirt · 30/10/2019 20:18

Family will know the hymns, but a lot are lapsed and will need a bit of a boost to get going. Very few friends will know them, they're mostly atheists.

OP posts:
Original poster
ScarlettsHoopedSkirt · 30/10/2019 20:18

Thanks everyone. I feel a lot more confident about asking the priest!

OP posts:
Littlepond · 30/10/2019 20:21

We had the church music group sing and play at ours. And we had SJS too Grin

DappledThings · 30/10/2019 20:21

We got married at my parents' church where the choir at the time consisted of my parents and 1 other person. As that meant 2/3 were a bit busy we hired a local choral society who were great. Partly for the hymns but also because I'd chosen what I still think is a beautiful anthem for the signing of the register.

But when I was a child I was in a church choir I used to love wedding season, we used to get 2-3 a Saturday and it was a nice income stream!

MitziK · 30/10/2019 20:28

I'd absolutely insist upon having [I]All Fings Brigh' An' Boo'ifull[/I]. Straight from the orange [I]Morning Has Broken[/I] hymn book of the 1970s and as sung overenthusiastically by 'orrible little oiks across the land.

But yes, if you can't arrange for a Primary School Choir (which would be my ultimate Wedding) or, as long as I had waterproof mascara, a Primary School Nativity, complete with [I]Away in a Manger[/I], [I] Little Donkey[/I] and Surly Shepherds Washing Their Socks, definitely ask if there is a local choir that can oblige.

SheShriekedShrilly · 30/10/2019 20:28

Seconding stucknou - my dds are choristers and love being asked to sing for a wedding. Not just for the money, but for the occasion and seeing the church all decorated.

AveEldon · 30/10/2019 20:30

Another one to say hire a choir

Original poster
ScarlettsHoopedSkirt · 30/10/2019 20:32

.... Do we pay the choir individually?! There's loads of people in our Sunday choir!

May wedding so Away in a Manger ever so slightly out of place.

OP posts:
wowfudge · 30/10/2019 20:33

I sing in a choir and we've been hired to sing amongst the congregation in churches. It's a bloody good idea.

DP and I went to the wedding of one of his friends a few years ago and I was the only person singing. I'm no soloist.

PurpleCrazyHorse · 30/10/2019 20:39

DH and I have had to sing enthusiastically at a friend's wedding as only she and her DH go to church, but none of her family do. We go to church as did a few other friends, so we split up to spread the sound around and sung heartily. We found that others joined in once we got going as they weren't so embarrassed once there was a bit of singing going on, even if they didn't really know the songs and just joined in for the chorus.

Definitely investigate if there's a church choir. Our church also has iSingWorship which is basically karaoke for churches. The words are on the screen and there's a track with a singer that plays at the same time. Worth speaking to the vicar to take about options available. If there's space in the church, maybe an open invite to the regular church congregation might also boost the singing :)

Northernlurker · 30/10/2019 20:44

Hire a choir or preferably two and pick better hymns. Your current choices are so limp you could give them crutches.

ShootTheRunner · 30/10/2019 20:50

The choir is worth the extra money for sure. We had Jerusalem and it sounded so wonderful with them it was a beautiful part of the service, and one of my highlights of the day!

Reversiblesequinsforadults · 30/10/2019 20:51

My non church choir is hired regularly to sing at weddings and we love them. Always fun. Ask the vicar and look for local choirs.

GormlessLeech · 30/10/2019 21:34

I’ve only been to a few religious weddings, but the ‘singing’ was horrific. No one wants to sing, work from that assumption, and the few who do, with the droning organ, will drag out any hymn into dreary, slow, grimness where time drags out ahead of everyone who’s politely lip syncing. ‘Cheery, upbeat’ hymns still get drawn out, in the manner of the happy birthday song.

Krieger · 30/10/2019 21:37

The hymns you have chosen will pass in three minutes of near silence from the congregation. I have played two of them to packed churches. And nothing.

Justapatchofgrass · 30/10/2019 21:44

They are challenging hymn choices for a congregation who are not churchgoers. Hard to sing.

Sing Hosanna/give me joy. It has parts? Will the guests know that? It also has a happy clappy vibe- will they be dancing? Actions? Do they know when to clap? With or without alleluias?

Maybe you could do a little video modelling what to do and share it prior to the wedding?

Justapatchofgrass · 30/10/2019 21:52

DP likes Shine Jesus Shine but I felt it was a bit tambourine-at-a-school-assembly!

less so than sing hosanna

CandyflossKid · 30/10/2019 21:59

If there is a choir, definitely book them.
We went to a lovely wedding in a village church - probably about 60 guests, but no one really sang the hymns and it was all very awkward. (I can sing The Wheels on the Bus with a class of 3 year olds but haven't got the confidence to sing All things Bright and Beautiful when no one else is really joining in unfortunately)

Ciwirocks · 30/10/2019 21:59

Definitely ask about a choir. My dc’s sing in a church choir and they sing at weddings quite often. The bride and groom usually make a donation (there is a set fee for the choir) that goes towards the running of the choir, choir t shirts etc. If it’s a children’s choir then some haribo would be appreciated as well. We had the children’s choir at our wedding, it was really lovely and all the guests commented on how nice it was.

Frazzled2207 · 30/10/2019 22:52

Def pay for the choir. It wo be a big fee.
When I was in the church choir- Many years ago- we used to get a whole £1 each for a wedding!!

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