Office life- What is your pet hate?

[SuperMeerkat]

Mine has got to be meetings where nothing ever actually gets resolved. Too much time is spent letting everyone have their say and ideas are considered that we then need another meeting to decide on what to do 😡😡 If anyone actually dares to be decisive then everyone looks at them like they’ve just kicked a puppy.

People who think they’re being clever repeatedly refusing to answer a direct question via email & their evil chorus who can only answer one question per email.

Dear Yvonne in HR,
Can you send me the documents that I need to fill out?

Also, do we go up a pay grade with the new contract?

Yvonne answers: “I sent you the documents 8 months ago.”

After doing an email search I respond: “No, that was a different set, could you send me x please? Also, do we go up a pay grade w the new contract?”

Yvonne: “Here’s a 54 page document. Though it’s my job to help you I’m not going to mention that the but you’re looking for is one page 47, & I certainly won’t tell you the name of the page you need, or any details really. I want you to work for it.”

Dear Yvonne, could you send me a direct link to the required page and what about the pay grade?”

Yvonne: “In 2-3 emails more I’ll send the link. I won’t answer your second question because ... no reason really, I’m just like that.”

Why do people do this?!! Do they crave attention? Can’t grasp the questions? Baffling.

Evil cohorts, not chorus!

Ill use the name Janice she drains the absolute life out of me.

People coming into my office and telling me how sick with flu/cough/colds. Just get the hell out my office! I don’t want it

Office whistlers and office drummers

People who seem oblivious to ringing phones/customers waiting or indeed the fact that they are paid to serve customers and answer the phone.
They stare at the ringing phone as if in some kind of trance until someone else who is usually in the middle of another job answers it.
Then they discuss how busy they are and how much work they have to do and how they have no idea how they will complete all this work, yet don't get on with doing any of it.

The mumbler
The interrupter
The lunch thief
The lift rider, stopping at various floors but not getting out.
The power tripping, control freak office manager.
The whinging maintenance man.
The creepy alarm maintenance man, leering at all the ladies on his weekly visit.
The team leader with a long distance girlfriend, who has slept (or tried to) with most of the women in his department, mainly targets unsuspecting new members of staff, brags about his conquests to other staff, a perpetual womaniser and liar.
These and many more as described in my earlier posts....

The two old hags in accounts who blatantly fancy and flirt with the young Turkish man in customer services.
The aging, balding lawyer who sleeps with his PA's.
The food police.
The used tampon on the toilet floor person.
The person who doesn't check to see if anything's left after flushing.

Jean and Joanne on reception who sit and natter all day, Jean sitting with arms folded and legs tightly crossed watching Joanne while Joanne works on her computer, loudly passing comment on outfits and dresses coming through the door.

Amanda the office tart, who wears low cut tops, short skirts, thigh high boots, false eyelashes, heavy perfume and other 'sexy' attire to establish her place as top totty and husband stealer. Is in fact the laughing stock of the office and no man would touch her with a bargepole.

People who hold regular meetings but never have an agenda or actions for the meeting.
Open plan
Denise (according to the earlier definition)
Eddie whose job is plainly X but he hides behind a job title and leaves a whole department slightly confused.

Belinda is similar to your Amanda @Schwibble falls all over herself like a schoolgirl in the presence of a penis.

Cringeworthy.

Alison Steadman would do an excellent parody of her.

The freezing temperature even with the heat on it is sometimes only 8 degrees. Sitting at a desk and working like that is not good.

The sniffer (who is also a finger tapper). It's like being in an office with Cuddles the Monkey.

We also have someone who puts their phone on speaker when they're on hold. Should be punishable by death!

I hate it when everyone goes on about how busy they are and when you ask they say (and this is my detested phrase) ‘oh you know, just fire fighting, so much to do’. I genuinely don’t know why everyone in my team has so much to do. I pull my weight but still manage to clock off at the right time and not worry about work. I think they just run around like headless chickens worrying about pointless things. I work from home on Monday’s and spend most of the day watching Suits 😂

Everyone seems to be on a diet all the time so when I pull out a biscuit/crisps/bacon roll a long discussion begins about how naught I am being and then a blow by blow account of what they have eaten that day. So boring

The temperature!! I like to be warm without having to wear my coat indoors. My colleague likes to be frozen at all times. I think it's an age thing

I work from home mainly but went into the office on Tuesday. We have open plan "hot" desks that anyone can use. I sat in a corner one and within about 10 mins or so 2 guys from a completely different office arrived and sat down in the two desks next to me. Jesus Christ! I had slurping soup, sniffing, coughing, rustling, pinging, fiddling with change in pockets, shouting down the phone etc ALL day. But the best one was the personal phone call at lunchtime where one of them was discussing his car being booked into the garage. For some bizarre reason he ended each sentence with "on the car". So in other words:

Him: When is the MOT due? on the car
They replied
Him: When done the warranty expire? on the car
They replied
Him: When is the service due? on the car
They replied
Him: What kind of service will I need this time? on the car

It felt like the conversation went on for weeks and he has to shout his conversations as the person on the other end clearly can't hear him. FFS..

Anyone who answers a call but then says, "sorry, I can't actually talk right now". Well Brian, don't answer the bloody phone, let it go to voicemail!!!

Mr coffee breath, the misogynistic throat clearer whose opinion on everything counts for nothing.

1. Wanky management speak - reaching out, shared with, thinking together, shared understanding. Talk plain English
2. Middle managers telling me why they can’t do something during which time they probably could have done it.
3. Arbitrating between junior staff who want to raise a grievance over some trivial perceived personal slight, wasting time and money. Act like an adult and this wouldn’t happen. Do they need the drama in their lives?
4. People nicking my Diet Coke out the fridge
5. People knocking on my office door to speak to me about something inconsequential when they can see through the glass I’m on the phone.
6. The office management hater - sly looks at you to check if you’re watching her as she spreads anti management propaganda across the team about how management are useless (as she wastes more of her valuable time chatting this shite). Is she looking? I f*ing am now!

I hate it when everyone goes on about how busy they are and when you ask they say (and this is my detested phrase) ‘oh you know, just fire fighting, so much to do’. I genuinely don’t know why everyone in my team has so much to do. I pull my weight but still manage to clock off at the right time and not worry about work. I think they just run around like headless chickens worrying about pointless things. I work from home on Monday’s and spend most of the day watching Suits 😂

Omg, every workplace of mine has been like this - not a clue what these people are so busy doing when I manage to get my work done, go home on time and use WFH day to catch up on chores.

@ItsJustTheOneSwanActually I used work somewhere where an administrator played his harmonica when he used the lift, it was quite soothing listening to the music coming & going as the lift went up and down

My coworker keeps telling me she’s massively busy and when she saw me looking at a house for sale online told me “they” watch everything we do and so I should be careful. Yesterday she spent most of the day ordering herself things online from amazon & returning packages she had delivered to work (of personal non-work things) & a good hour taking photos of a book (personal use) she was returning. So not that busy and aren’t “they” watching her too? (Pretty sure they are too understaffed to hassle us about online time unless our work suffers or if it’s nsfw).

I once worked at a company where they policed chats/browsing and my husband got done for spending 17 hours in a month on BBC sport and about twice as many in group chats - he got 5 days annual leave taken away as a punishment!!! (apparently they now also track clicks/keyboard types and publish a weekly list of top 10 most idle people.....)

Unfortunately for them they didn't seem to be able to track Chrome, so I got away with browsing DM for about half my day.....

The new bloke with his endless questions in his loud, droning voice. He's lucky that I haven't clubbed him to death with my water bottle yet. He also calls whoever he's talking to by their name. Constantly.

"Hi Daredevil, how are you Daredevil? Daredevil, how do I do this? Daredevil can I talk to you for a minute?"

No, fuck off and never speak to me again.

The social butterflies. No I don't want to go out with the buggers I have to spend all day with.

The people who work hugely over their hours just to look important and busy. What are they doing? Why is everyone so overworked? I'm not.

The endless, pointless processes and procedures. Yay, another spreadsheet to fill in.

I need to stop now.....