If your wedding was arranged knowing many guests would incurr great expense?

[LoyaltyBonus]

Did you consider this in the plans and accept/know that some would not be able to or would choose not to attend?

Obviously at most weddings some invited guests will have to travel simply by virtue of the fact that friends and family can be far flung. However, I'm invited to one where (almost?) everyone will have to travel c. 5 hours. The B&G and most of their friends and families are SE based, the wedding is in Cornwall. So we have travel costs and accommodation on top of all the usual cost of attending, plus at least one day off work, and a really long journey, the kind you'd usually only make for a week or more.

There's no particular link that makes Cornwall important to the couple but it is a stunning location for a wedding, which is the reason for the choice.

I know attending isn't compulsory, but IME people do take offence if you decline!

We had a wedding abroad, but kept it small and made it clear that we would totally understand if people couldn't make it.

But we also covered accommodation costs for everyone - still worked out cheaper then having a wedding in the UK!

But we also have a wedding booked for Cornwall next year, kids not invited, gonna mean a a day off work for DH and cost of accommodation for 2 nights. But I guess it's the B&G choice of where to get married. You don't have to understand or "get it" .... my dad certainly did get our choice of venue, but you don't have to. Just be there for your friends or not. You don't have to go, and personally I'd rather not pay for a wedding breakfast for someone who begrudges being there. Just make an excuse .... someone's birthday, already away that weekend, work/family/life commitments .

I think you are BU and too be honest I am bewildered at what your complaining about. Would you prefer if you hadn't been invited or think they should have had it closer to you.
I do not think ppl take offense at those who cant make it, especially true if you live far away and I would be surprised that you actually believe they would.
I suggest you don't go, because by the sounds of it ,you would be just doing it to complain about your sacrifices.

@Alicia9999
You're asking the wrong crowd here - MN only thinks weddings are good if it costs a 50p bus ticket to attend and takes place in a shed in your garden

Exactly what I was thinking!

We got married in the UK, a good 5-6 hrs drive from where most of us live, hotel and travel costs were c £500 per couple, it was kid-free, everyone had to take a day off work. We expected a lot of people to decline, NO ONE did. However, the venue was absolutely stunning (outside ceremony, mountainous surrounded by lakes, remote and non-touristy), we fed and watered everyone (free booze all day and night, loads of lovely food), lots of entertainment, everyone had a ball. Most guests made a holiday out of it (the weather was incredible which admittedly made a big difference). No one thought we were 'selfish' it was our wedding, our decision where we got married, attendance wasn't obligatory.

If I get an invitation to a wedding and it's not convenient I don't go, simple as that

I hope the stunning scenery is visible through the high rainfall of the area...

don't go if it is a chore, just politely refuse and send a gift if you want. If they throw diva-strops, ignore as you do all childish behaviour.

and especially ignore if they are extinction rebellion types given all the travelling they want people to do!

We had a wedding that was about 2 hours travel for nearly everyone but as much as 6 hours (driving) for some and all of my family and friends were a long haul flight away. Dh is from the UK (where we live), but my family and friends are not. We had to choose somewhere so found somewhere we liked relatively close to home. Dh’s family and friends are far flung enough though that it was impossible to really make it close to most people.

Personally, I’ve only been to one wedding that I didn’t need a hotel stay for. Everyone we know it too spread out. I’ve also had weddings that just couldn’t attend for logistical or financial reasons.

In our case, most people we invited attended. I only had a few friends from my home country but most family invited attended. They just made a holiday of it. But honestly, I would have understood if they couldn’t or if they didn’t get us a gift (I think most did, but really I have no idea now). I was grateful to have them there, and the ones who couldn’t be there could see the pictures on social media. No big deal.

I feel a bit sad if someone i thought was close to me decides to have a major event in their lives set up so that it's incredibly difficult and expensive for me to attend. My relatives and closest friends seem to work hard to make their weddings really easy to attend, because they want to see people there.

Less close friends and people with international families etc dont fit that profile.