How to talk so doctors will listen

[ToLiveInPeace]

I've had multiple GP appointments this year due to increasing gastro and pain symptoms. There's a high staff turnover at my surgery, so I've seen various doctors. Tests have ruled out all the obvious things and now they're all focused on stress as the cause.

I'm tired of bring treated as if my anxious personality is the problem. However, some time ago, I was misdiagnosed by multiple doctors and ended up quite ill, so I am quite worried.

How do I persuade the GP to listen to me today?

I usually am extremely firm with them when I need to get a point across. The doctors at my surgery are pretty good and listen but in the past I actually said to a doctor "you have a duty of care towards me and you need to listen to me otherwise I will make an official complaint about you" this was because a doctor was not listening to me at all and afterwards he listened! I had to be firm with my psychiatrist last week! Tell the doctor your concerns, how everything is making you feel etc. But be firm and confident (even if you don't feel it) no need to be rude at all, just assertive!

I have found being well informed is useful. You have to pick your websites though. They can't really argue with information on NHS websites for example, likewise charities/associations such as chrohns or coeliac. Ask them why they think it's anxiety related, should they be treating your anxiety etc. Also what steps have you taken yourself to try and improve matters? If you feel you're being fobbed off then tell them so.

Sometimes telling them what you want is helpful. E.g I think it's IBS, could we try x medication. Or please could you refer me for an endoscopy. If GP is still unhelpful then see someone else next time.

This sounds exactly like what my dp is going through, including the misdiagnosis part.

Last time he saw a gastro consultant, they were going through symptoms and the consultant kept bringing up stress and depression every so often. My dp kept repeating 'I'm stressed because I'm ill, not the other way around', and kept bringing the conversation round to his physical symptoms.

We did once make a complaint through PALS, which seemed to help at the time. This was when the misdiagnosis was uncovered, after a couple of years of the wrong meds etc.

Dp has now made the decision to just try and save up to go private instead, it will be difficult but they might then look at his case with a 'fresh pair of eyes'. Could this be an option for you in the long term?

Sorry if private is a useless suggestion, it's really a 'last chance' for us, now.

Also, sorry you're going through this. Having watched my dp go through it, I know how it can feel like you've nowhere to turn.

I should say, the misdiagnosis was uncovered but he is still technically undiagnosed years later which is why he is trying to go private.

Sometimes writing it all down is helpful - like bullet points so you don't forget anything as sometimes we can panic and then you miss something. I hope you feel better soon

I would agree -write things down.
And especially things like duration of symptoms , type of pain (it can give a huge insight if you can describe if its sharp/stabby/burning etc)
What relieves it /what worsens it .
When did it start.

It is easy for your mind to blank.
It is difficult to have a conversation with someone who is tapping away on their screen .

I'm an HCP (not a GP) but when I'm asking for symptoms etc the most unhelpful answer is "Oh a long time"
Could be 5 years /5 months/5 days

I wish I knew. I was dismissed as anxious/depressed for years until I eventually nearly died - turned out I have the most severe form of ulcerative colitis and was quietly bleeding to death internally.

Thank you all for understanding! Your advice did help. I went in and told him firmly that we discussed anxiety last time but I wasn't there to help talk about that - also that I'm stressed because I'm poorly, not poorly because I'm stressed.

It didn't help much overall, because he had no idea why I'm in pain, but it was less humiliating than recent appointments have been, and I'll keep this in mind for the future. Cheers :)

Just to add...

@fantasmasgoria1 - I was totally pretending to be confident but it did help

@70isaLimitNotaTarget - I take notes with me and I'm pretty specific but I sometimes worry this makes me look a complete hypochondriac...

@1984isnow - I did in fact see a private gastroenterologist. That got the CT scan recommended sooner rather than later but he was pretty stumped too :/ I hope your DP is doing OK now.

@spiderlight - I hope you're doing much better now.