Ex husband dead

[AlexaAmbidextra]

Found out today via the internet that my ex-husband died some years ago. It was a fairly short marriage, six years of DV that started just four weeks after we married. I really couldn't give a shit that he’s dead. My only emotion is one of intense curiosity as to exactly when it was and what happened. Actually, that isn’t entirely true as I’m also quite pleased that I’ve outlived the bastard. Annoyingly I’m not in touch with anyone who knew him although there is someone on Facebook that would know. I’m sorely tempted to message them.

Sorry you went through such a difficult time emotionally OP. In your situation I wouldn't message them. This is why and I appreciate it's not the same situation as yours:

To my shame back in 2005 I used a former friends. I'm not making excuses for myself but the 'good' thing was I suppose that this only lasted 4 months tops and I cut her loose after only 4 months and didn't string her along for years. However, she was understandably angry and sent me and angry text and phone msg saying 'I know you don't want to bother wiith me etc'. You see OP if she had NOT messaged me at all in response to me cutting her loose I'd assume she didn't care that I cut her loose - that she was indifferent to the friendship. By letting me know how upset she was , I effectively 'won 'even though I admit I behaved appallingly. In the first situation if there'd been no messages there'd be no winners or losers! I know it's s VERY different situation with you but the principle may be applicable.

Well done on escaping the DV

I meant friend in the singular

Death certificates are a matter of public record so you can request that if you know dob and ideally roughly when/ where he died. If it was newsworthy obviously Google is your friend. I imagine that knowing the details would bring more closure.