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Original poster

All I want is a best friend :(

40 replies

aladdinscave · 29/10/2019 11:38

I'm 32 and I used to have 3 best friends but over the years we lost touch and now I don't talk to them. I've started talking to one again but it will never be the same again. I just miss having someone to talk to about anything and just chilling at each others houses drinking tea talking shit. I can't seem to meet anyone now and no friends at work. Am I too old now to meet someone and just become really good friends?

OP posts:
Starfish78 · 29/10/2019 12:52

Im the same. I’m in south devon too

JigsawsAreInPieces · 29/10/2019 12:55

Start a craft group, book club, something you're interested in. I've made a lot of good friends that way. I don't believe in best friends, we're not 5 years old. Friends are friends. I can drop in to any of my friends for a natter anytime and they me.

OctoberLovesCasper · 29/10/2019 12:56

I moved and havent got any real friends either ... Theres afew girls, but they worked where i lived, so a little different

TheReluctantCountess · 29/10/2019 12:57

I feel the same. I’m in Leeds.

MrsLEB · 29/10/2019 13:03

I feel the same. I had such close friends at school but gradually lost touch with everyone from school through following different life paths and meeting DH. Since meeting DH I've had 2 really close friends (closer even than the ones at school) and both I feel drifted from me rather than vice versa which really hurt on both occasions (again due to choosing a different life path/meeting a DP). I now have no close friend (other than DH of course) just family and old work acquaintances. It does get me down sometimes when I see others with close friends. But I've become used to now not having that 'one person' that I'm so close to because honestly in the past it's caused me more hurt than a partner ever has!

Boofybear1 · 29/10/2019 13:47

Im 43 no children and in nw london and no close friends anymore. Its not that uncommon it seems!!

Sexykitten2005 · 29/10/2019 16:11

Kent no children 35 and I’m the same. I have some social anxiety so even if I get invited out I’m normally to nervous to go. Got two invites from groups at a club I go to this weekend but I’ll bottle it and sit at home. I don’t know how to be more confident Sad

PotterHead1985 · 29/10/2019 16:53

Ireland here and same boat. My health issues don't help I think as people just don't get them and the way it affects me. Makes me sad.

Socksontheradiator · 29/10/2019 17:10

I'm in my 50s, and while I don't have a 'best' friend (other than DH) I have made several really good new friends over the last five years or so.
I 'met' most of them via interest groups online, then met irl on clinics/courses related to those interests, and graduated quite naturally to meeting up for coffee etc.
I don't enjoy big groups but I do enjoy a really good conversation one a 1:1 basis. Most of us have busy lives with families/jobs, so there is no expectation that we'll be in one another's pockets, but I generally meet up with at least one of them each week.
I don't keep in touch with any old school friends, but I did make lasting friendships with a handful of other mums over the years. I think it really helps to be a little bit brave in asking if someone would like to meet, and also to let friendships evolve slowly. Anyone who wants to be my 'new best friend' quickly has me backing off sharpish.

happypotamus · 29/10/2019 17:24

I would like a best friend, but I am also anti-social and hate meeting new people and sometimes hate meeting people I have known for a while (maybe this is social anxiety but it doesn't feel extreme enough to be a diagnosable condition). I have DH, who I say is my best friend but it isn't the same. I have friends at work, who I have a laugh with (trauma bonding, my work is very long shifts, very stressful, sometimes horrendous), 1 or 2 of whom I will talk to a bit when everything feels too shit to deal with, but never meet any of them outside of work. It doesn't help that I don't have hobbies because my random shift work job means I can't ever commit to being in the same place at the same time each week. I do have DC, one has been going to school a few years, but I haven't managed to make friends with any of the other mums because I am too anti-social to make conversaton, I suppose.
So, I clearly can't offer any advice on making a best friend, but wanted to say you are not alone.

Schwibble · 30/10/2019 12:42

Same here Sad but been hurt and shat upon too many times now to trust potential new friends, sometimes I think it's easier to be lonely and a mad cat lady instead..

Daddystilllost · 30/10/2019 12:47

Me too Op. I'm 35 and so so lonely. You don't live near North or West Yorks do you by any chance @aladdinscave

Daddystilllost · 30/10/2019 12:48

@TheReluctantCountess I'm not far from you....

TheReluctantCountess · 30/10/2019 12:56

@Daddystilllost cool! Whereabouts are you based?

BlackAudi · 07/11/2019 02:15

@TheReluctantCountess Harrogate

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