Child in pain.. how do u cope.

[Boristhecats]

My son has got a medical problem with his legs and feet. It’s been going on for a year. He is in pain all the time. This is still being looked into.
Yesterday after yet another unsuccessful trip to the doctors where they didn’t help he had another anxiety attack in the car. He is struggling to walk now.
For those of you who have children in daily pain or distress. How do you cope ?
I’m tired and I’m not sure if I’m coping as well as I should be. Watching him in pain everyday. Seeing him struggle to breathe when his anxiety hits. Some days is so hard.
I try to be strong. But he is 15 Nearly 16. And has pretty much given up with ever getting better.

How do you cope if you are in this situation. He has been refused all type of medication for both his pain and his stress and anxiety because of his age. Which has left him the shell of the boy I used to know

I tell him how strong and how brave he is to have got this far on nothing but determination but it isn’t working anymore.
I keep trying to be strong for him but it is getting harder and harder each day.
This is all due to him having severe tight muscles in his legs. Thinking that maybe some weekly sports massage may help.

Sorry. I will finish rambling but thank you for reading if you have got this far.

Why has he been refused medication for the pain? That just seems really cruel.
I don't have experience with a child with problems like this, but my son has crohns disease [ diagnosed 10 years ago ] and he has had episodes of severe pain due to this. It is really hard watching your child in pain and not be able to help.
When things were really bad he was prescribed co codomol, he was much younger than your son so I am not sure why they say your son can't have anything due to age. He was also given anti anxiety meds as well. Is your son taking paracetamol or ibuprofen?

It sounds like a physio would be a good call as they may be able to help more. Good luck

He has done physio. I keep asking for medication for him but keep getting told no no no because of his age. Honestly they have left him a shell of what he was. The normal over the counter pain killers had no effect and just upset his stomach. You wouldn’t leave a dog in this type of pain. I’m struggling to get him to school as the other kids are just awful to him. I really don’t know where to turn anymore. I just feel helpless.

I've no experience but can you self refer your son to CAMHS to get help with his anxiety?
My husband had incredibly tight calf muscles which caused him problems - he saw a physio who did lots of stretching and massage (like you mentioned). Another thing to try could be acupuncture. I know people are sceptical but they'd be able to use pressure points in his legs as well as other areas to try to ease his anxiety.

If they're sure it's muscular then try pilates.

Has anyone xrayed his hip? I'm thinking potentially hip dysplasia. It can appear in teens.

Has he seen a specialist or just the gp? You can ask for another specialist for a second opinion or possibly pay for a private consultant

I think you need to see a different dr, a specialist if you don't already see one. I know of children on all sorts of strong painkillers, so the argument that he can't have any because of his age seems ridiculous.

Sounds awful OP!

You need to break this down into smaller parts to focus on.

1. The pain - Can you try CBD oil for this? Not the weak stuff you can get in Holland & Barrett. CBD Brothers are reputable, but there are others too. People with MS/ ME/ Fibromyalgia use it to control their pain and it works for some.

1. The cause - Whilst you can deal with the pain in the meantime, all the while you don't know the reason for it, masking the outcome can lead you to exacerbating the underlying problem. Find a sports physio and they should be able to give him sports massages. You can feel the benefit of this pretty much straight away, but he'll need a few weeks and will be given some exercises to do at home in between.

1. The anxiety - It's completely natural to feel high levels of anxiety when certain activities cause pain. But unfortunately people will try to tell you that the anxiety is causing the pain and you'll get fobbed off. Once you have found the cause and are managing the pain, you can find him help to manage his anxiety around it. But I doubt any therapy will work until then.

In terms of coping with it, you have to dig deep and remember that your DS is looking at you and learning how to cope himself. It's beyond difficult coping with a DC in distress, but they really do take their cue from you.

DD(18) has had severe ME for 4 years since she was 14. My heart has broken in a thousand different places, but we're still going and still painting on that smile. It is possible, however hard it seems, because you do it for them.

Could he be deficient in magnesium? Maybe try a spray on his legs. Also I have similar issues caused by hip dysplasia. Has he had hip X-rays as mentioned by a pp. Try muscle rubs. Heat pads. As regards the anxiety is he willing to try herbal teas or supplements? Such as lemon balm, verbena. Turmeric is an anti inflammatory. I sympathise big time. Has he tried solpadeine which you can get over the counter.