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Original poster

I know I'm going to get slaughtered

21 replies

chicken12 · 28/10/2019 22:59

I have been married 15 years slept with some one else last year did not feel guilty did not sleep with him again but kept in touch online for a while. that stopped but my permenipausal hormones were all over found a guy online met up once still going on cant stop like an addiction I suffer from anxiety and depression and hate myself dont know what to do

OP posts:

Designerenvy · 28/10/2019 23:01

Do the right thing, leave your DH. If you want to act like you're single , then you may as well be single !
Don't blame the hormones, we all have them and don't go cheating.

Sahej · 29/10/2019 00:14

It's not an addiction you need to just practise keeping your knickers on. Try holding onto them until it becomes normal for you

Waxonwaxoff0 · 29/10/2019 07:44

You need to get to the bottom of why are you doing this. Is your marriage unhappy? Does it lack intimacy? Do you suffer from low self esteem and the attention makes you feel good? Is it the thrill and excitement that you crave?

You know what you are doing is wrong and you need to tell your DH so he can decide if he wants to stay in the marriage, it's not fair on him.

ShatnersWig · 29/10/2019 08:27

You need to tell your husband you've cheated on him twice and are likely to cheat on him again and ask what he wants to do about it.

And hopefully he'll tell you to get the fuck out and divorce you and find someone who respects him.

Original poster

chicken12 · 30/10/2019 23:06

I told him so he would throw me out he forgave me

OP posts:

PurpleDaisies · 30/10/2019 23:08

So you need to leave then.

Original poster

chicken12 · 30/10/2019 23:14

I've hurt him enough I never could understand why people cheated I still dont really know

OP posts:

SpiderCharlotte · 30/10/2019 23:29

You need to leave him. You clearly love the drama though, so probably won't.

PurpleDaisies · 30/10/2019 23:31

Why does that even matter-you cheated.

Whoops75 · 30/10/2019 23:34

Me me me me me me

You’re to self absorbed to be in a relationship, leave and stop the trail of destruction your husband has to get over.

Jog22 · 31/10/2019 07:54

Have you stopped loving your husband?

Original poster

chicken12 · 31/10/2019 08:07

I still love him

OP posts:

toffeepinklady · 31/10/2019 08:08

'Can't stop'.....of course you can stop. Stop and continue with your marriage. Or continue sleeping around but leave your marriage first.

Jog22 · 31/10/2019 08:15

Then are you trying to sabotage yourself because you feel like you don't deserve him?

MonsterMashedSpud · 31/10/2019 08:18

Take responsibility for your actions rather than blaming hormones.

If you loved him you wouldn’t risk hurting him.

peridito · 31/10/2019 08:22

It sounds as though your mental health has become very fragile . I think the hypersexual/risk activity can be a symptom of anxiety /depression.And you also sound self destructive .none of this is helthy .

Please go and talk to your GP and keep your DH onboard .

You've been married a long time and it sounds as though this behaviour is new .

You don't need slaughtering on here or throwing out by your husband ,you need professional help . Please try and take care .

Ugzbugz · 31/10/2019 08:25

Do you have sex with your husband?

Original poster

chicken12 · 31/10/2019 08:30

thanks I hate myself

OP posts:

peridito · 31/10/2019 08:52

That's no way to live is it sweetheart ? Please make an appt with GP ,they will understand and won't judge .

Tell your husband how you feel and ask for his help .

ChuckleBuckles · 31/10/2019 09:08

This is not an addiction, an addiction is an impulse that cannot be denied, you are actively choosing not to deny the impulse to cheat, if anything this is about control. You are in a position of one-upmanship over your DH, leading a hidden life and then coming back to the familiar of your home life with your DH. That is an act of contempt for the other person, not love.

Inherent in the act of infidelity is chronic lying, scheming, manipulation, blame shifting and duplicity. Your DH will always be on the back foot and not really know what is going on in his life, do the right thing and leave him, you say you cannot hurt him even further but it is an act of utmost cruelty to stay in this marriage and waste years he will never get back, he could be using this time right now to heal and move on. You say you don't feel any guilt for this and you told him so he could throw you out, why do you insist in taking no responsibility for your own life and actions, relying on others to propel you forward?

peridito · 31/10/2019 12:02

I agree it's not an addiction .To me it's a symptom of mental health issues

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