How often do you feel content?

[donttalktomeaboutcarinsurance]

I just can't seem to manage it.
Since having my DS 18 months ago, it's taken ages for my hormones to settle. It just seems my natural state is anxious/worried/ bothered about something.
I see a therapist now so I have some better coping mechanisms in place. Im doing a lot better now than a few months ago and no longer feel suicidal and extremely anxious. I know happiness is more of a fluid state but I can't just seem to master contentment.
Work is a big problem and I haven't got the work/ balance but can't change my job just at this moment. But I'm on holiday right now and I just can't relax as I'm worried about pressures at work.
When I think back to before I had my ds, yes, I had problems, yes, I definitely over thought stuff but never to this degree. I feel like a miserable bitch all the time.
Sorry for the depressing post. I'm like a black hole sucking all the joy out of the room :(

Go easy on yourself. It's great you are seeing a therapist. It's tough when they are young and knocks you for 6. Contentment will come. I find I feel content when I'm in the moment not thinking about anything but what's happening there and then. But that doesn't happen often and is not easy to focus your thoughts in that way. Has your therapist spoken about present moment focus?
Maybe have a think about what you enjoy. Not necessarily with your child or anyone in particular - just anything. Make time for you and the things you enjoy xxx

I find contentment much underestimated. For me, it far outweighs happiness as i find contentment easier to acheive.

I last found contentment on Friday afternoon. I had a very pleasant lunch with friends, DD picked me up from the railway station, my cleaner had been so my house looked lovely, and DD had bought me flowers.
Utter satisfaction on my part.

But, I'm old and struggled like you when I was your age and DD was young.

I think it's the remembrance of those struggling years that makes me appreciate my current contentment.

Hold on, your time for peace and calm will come. There is a whole lot of time for you and your baby to find contment

Totally normal to feel this way I think Op. work is definitely a stress point when you have young dc. I initially found going back quite tough, I would have loved to stay at home but actually my dd benefits far more from socialising with other children in a lovely Montessori crèche. I have the guilt like all other mothers but we are teaching them how strong and fiercely independent we are.

It’ll get easier. I recently lost my dad so that’s been shit but my dp has been utterly amazing and it’s enabled me to keep going.

Therapy is also very good. I go every week and find it helps me.

@Samsamsuperman thank you, no my therapist hasn't mentioned that but I can ask her.
@user1471453601, thank you for your wisdom. It helps to put things into perspective. It also adds to to the worry that I'm wasting precious time just worrying.
@JessicaRarebit, thank you so much for your reply. sorry to hear about your dad and I'm glad you have strong support network around you x

It's such a testing time. I honestly wonder why my dh puts up with me. Sometimes, I am able to take a step back a recognise that I've made some progress but there is always something niggling in the background. I feel disappointed in myself that I can't find happiness and enjoyment in anything right now.

It is very hard having young dc, all your energy just goes into getting through a day. It is difficult to see positives as you are constantly looking ahead to the next 'thing', be it a bedtime battle or the house needing to be cleaned, or money or whatever it is at that time.
I found I became more content when dc became older and I got older and bothered less about the small stuff. I find now that I am able to think "there is nothing I can do about this RIGHT NOW so I shall not think about it". If I cannot actively do something (be it a physical act, a to do list/plan, or mobilise someone else to do it) I put it aside until it can be sorted. It is possibly a higher form of laziness, but does mean that I can feel content most of the time.

@Drinkciderfromalemon thank you. I do try and take a moment to put things to one side but I just get so overwhelmed.
Today I'm feeling slightly better but things, less negative, things keep popping up in my head. Work mainly and then i start to feel worthless and not good enough again.
I'm going to the park with my ds now to just try and take my mind off things.