To move or not to move... HELP

[flipperdoda]

I need some opinions please.

I'm mid twenties, been renting since I moved out at 18 (4 years of uni, then working). I went to uni in London despite not being a city person as it was the best place for my degree.

I've just sort of ended up staying. I now live in Surrey and commute in and I'm much much happier out here. Moved out in summer. I've joined a sports club, made the basis for some local friends, etc.

My dilemma is... there are various things I'm not totally sold on down here (commute, prices, I'm still in a city 5 days a week) plus I'd like to buy sometime soon I think. And I can't decide whether to stay here or move North! (Manchester/Leeds area most likely).

The reasons I WOULD move:

• cheaper
• my commute isn't bad for London standards, but I'm not sure I'd want to be doing it if I had kids in the future
• I love outdoor stuff, not fussed about city stuff, love hills. Lots of national parks up there!
• still plenty of software jobs (my field) and wouldn't be compromising on progressing my career
• I'm paying a slightly eye watering amount for my train ticket to commute at the moment

Reasons I WOULDN'T move:

• I have friends here (London based, but not far away)
• I am making friends here here (Surrey)
• I like it here!
• lots of tech jobs here too (though commute)
• who knows what my commute would be like even if I did move!
• I've moved (relatively locally but different areas of London) quite a lot and I'm bloody sick of it

The prices where I live reflect the fact that you can commute into London and get a "London salary" so the option of staying here and working locally isn't really feasible at least for now.

I feel like my head and heart are always saying different things but neither of them are consistent!

I'm single so no partner to consider in this. Parents about halfway in-between here and Manchester/Leeds so doesn't change my journey to family noticeably. Marginally closer to siblings if I'm up North but again, not a huge difference.

Heeeelppp. Sorry for the rant.

Should clarify, also no kids. (I know, a non mother on mumsnet! )

I’m pretty much sold on Calderdale . I was working in Surrey many years ago as a temp and was offered a permanent job - turned it down as couldn’t afford to buy a hose there. My boss where I was working suggested Calderdale . Fab walking country- affordable housing - good links to Manchester and Leeds. You have achieved a lot already for someone in their mid 20’s - worth checking out other options if if you do decide to stay in Surrey in the end .

House !

Off to google Calderdale now Majorcollywobble!

Definitely can't afford a house here but could afford a one bed flat. Had a brief look at rightmove for a nice area of Manchester (think suburb) and could afford a two bed flat for the same sort of price.

You have achieved a lot already for someone in their mid 20’s - worth checking out other options if if you do decide to stay in Surrey in the end .

Firstly - thank you, I don't necessarily feel like I have but I admittedly have been lucky with my interests and the job they led to. And the job itself!

Secondly, what do you mean by checking out other options if I stay?

Bumping my own thread shamelessly for any other opinions

I would probably move! We just almost made a similar move (SW not North) and pulled out because I was worried about making friends again. We are early 30s and have a big friendship group here through work/ uni/ baby friends that makes it much harder to move and start again. We will have to move out of London at some point - I work full time but pregnant with twins and want to have a more flexible PT job by the time they start school.

Robs20 it sounds like you're more settled where you are compared to me currently, but the friends part is what really concerns me too :(

Thankfully I'm happy sending time by myself so I don't think I'd really struggle with it in the beginning like others might, but I couldn't live indefinitely without friends obviously - and it's scary thinking about starting all over.

Was it a purely emotional decision to pull out, or do you have reason to think that it will be easier to do in the next five years?

OP if you are mid-20s and do plenty activities outside work then you can make new friends up in the NW. You can then randomly come and visit people in London.

I'm in London because the vast majority of my siblings are in London and SE, so I moved back here permanently in my mid-20s.

Find a job and move renting, then buy a house once you are up there?

Cola thanks for the confidence boost. I know I can, I just dread it a little bit! I'm not the most social of people, but I can meet people through sport I suppose.

Spotty should have clarified, that would definitely be the plan. I'd rent wherever I moved to for at least 6 months, more realistically a year, to make sure I'm confident on the decision, find out about areas etc. But obviously I don't want to have to spend a year in three different places before settling (ideally) so I'd still need to research the move pretty well beforehand.

I think practically it makes a lot more sense to move. I'm just a bit disappointed because this is the first place I've lived for years that feels like home, and it's only taken 4 months to feel like that! So I'm a little loathe to move.

On the other hand I keep reminding myself I've learnt lots here about ways to integrate locally which work for me (essentially: running club!) and that knowledge won't be left behind!

Just a bit nervous I suppose...