Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Lone parent mature student woes

5 replies

RoryGillmoresEvilTwin · 26/10/2019 10:31

Are there any other lp mature students out there?
I'm feeling fed up and just want to moan for a bit.
Firstly, it's been half term here this week and I've seen my ds all of 2 days. He's fine and has had a fun week with friends and my parents, but it feels rubbish to have been so busy and had no time to do do fun stuff with him.
Secondly, I'm exhausted!
I've been ill for the last 2 weeks (freshers flu), I have 3 large pieces of coursework to be getting on with plus the usual lectures/seminars/labs. Add to that the 15 odd hrs a week I spend commuting to and from campus!
I keep questioning whether it's possible to be a good parent and a good student...

And finally, I have a sodding toothache brewing.
If I don't crumble under the workload then the parental guilt will definitely get me!

OP posts:
RoryGillmoresEvilTwin · 26/10/2019 22:11

Just me then...😂😭

OP posts:
SeaSidePebbles · 26/10/2019 22:23

I was in your shoes about 15 years ago. I remember it well though. Traumatic 3 years.
Uni taught me to put my head down and just plough through things, that’s really not a time to perfect anything, just get through it. I was still breastfeeding through my first lot of exams.

It’ll get easier. Just get through it. Flowers

RoryGillmoresEvilTwin · 27/10/2019 19:15

Thank you Seaside I so appreciate your reply.
Yes I agree. Head down and get on with it! I remember feeling like this about this time last year and suddenly it seemed to get a bit easier ( until exam period, then it just became manic).

Ds is in clean clothes with food in his stomach. I'm taking that as a parenting win!

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Graphista · 27/10/2019 19:33

I too was in similar position around 15 years ago.

What help/support are you getting from uni? From your support network? Are you accepting all the help available?

Remember if you were working full time you'd be ltd when you could see Ds then too AND you'd be still knackered too!

I treated it as I would have a full time job, but certain things may have changed since which might make this difficult for you I'm not sure.

I had dd in nursery full time (childcare tax credits paid the bulk, it was necessary to have her booked in A's timetable would change each semester) but as I wasn't in lectures/seminars full time I'd take her to nursery same time every day, head into uni whether I had a lecture/seminar or not and if I didn't I either headed to library to get work done or I'd be meeting up with other students to work on group assignments. I'd go to the lectures/seminars through the day then library until I needed to leave to collect dd.

That meant that I rarely needed to do work at home or at least nothing too taxing. I'd email myself drafts/final drafts of assignments to reference and print at home to save money as cheaper to print at home than pay uni costs, even though these were quite cheap.

This meant when I was home with dd I was "present" and focused on her.

Sometimes it was necessary to do some work after she was in bed but that was generally around exam time.

My fellow students were great at being understanding of my circumstances and when it was sometimes necessary to work on group assignments of an evening they'd come to me, but then I'd repay the favour by driving them to mine and feeding them (they were weirdly appreciative of cheap but hopefully tasty home cooked meals)

Uni were good too and supportive both financially and in making allowances with extensions when necessary (not too often but occasionally if dd had been unwell I either had to catch up or was unable to get in to submit assignments, which had to be done in person at that point, not sure if that's still true. We had to show ID and sign a sheet and they had to be submitted as both hard copy and on disk/memory stick)

It's not easy but I'm so glad I did it.

Hope you feel better soon, persevere and good luck with it all.

TraLaLaaaaa · 27/10/2019 19:54

I'm also a lone parent in the 2nd year of a degree. Half term this coming week where we are, and I'm just going to miss most lectures so I can spend time with DS. But then, I don't think I'm quite as committed as I should be...

It's tough going. I have placements to deal with too, although lecture timetable is pretty light this semester. I just focus on the long holidays to get me through.

Your commute sounds awful! Hope you feel better soon.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page