Anyone else feeling crap about being skint for Christmas?!

[Itsjeremycorbynsfault]

Just that really.

We're really struggling this year and our children's birthdays are also November and January.

We've had a few unexpected big payments towards house, car etc this year coupled with HMRC saying we were overplayed tax credits last year so we're not getting anything now!

Anyway, I know that in the grand scheme of things, Christmas has gone bonkers with the pressure to buy and do this, that and the offer but I'm still going to feel awkward saying to family members we just really can't afford to exchange gifts this year nor probably even the fuel for long distance visits!

Anyone in the same boat and want to rejoice in having a somewhat forced thrifty Christmas time?

I can understand how hard it must be but if you don't want to tell anyone you can't afford to exchange presents tell them you've decided not to do presents but just donating to homeless instead.
Also try to do something about your finances like if you can't get a job try online sales or something because anything is worth a try

Me OP.

But in true Christmas style I've decided to sprinkle some glitter on it and call this year Earth Friendly Christmas.[santa] DS1(12) seems excited about it. For now. DS2(2) doesn't give a shit. Me? I wish it I had chosen it, but I havent. I just have to keep smiling, pretend it's a conscious decision, provide infectious enthusiasm and hold onto the hope that "next year will be better".

I know it won't though.
But yours will be.

I am wondering how I am going to afford gifts for 12 close family members on a very tight budget. Plus three birthdays near Christmas also
😬

It's a nightmare isn't it.

I can't sleep tonight thinking about it although I know I'm being ridiculous.

I'm thinking of making a donation to a local charity and offering family a night of drinks and nibbles.

My children are only young so there isn't much pressure there but it's having so many family members.

Loving the Earth Friendly Christmas by the way! Fab

I would prioritise birthdays. Think back to what you remember about Xmas when you were a child. When I think back it is not the gifts themselves it is the general excitement. The making the Xmas cookies, making gift tags from old cards and sprinkling with glitter. When I was little my Mum only seemed to let us have glitter around Xmas time. Collect fir cones and spray paint in gold, let them plant a bulb in a jam jar for their Nan, Make Xmas cookies and decorate with icing. Some sweets, selection packs, new toothbrush, shower gel and a few Xmas stocking fillers are not going to brake the bank. Just do not go crazy with stuff your child does not need. You can get some bargains on ebay that look new. When my children were small and we had a Xmas where we had very little money I told them Santa has lots of new babies to bring gifts for so children might get a little less that year. It is harder if children are older but just be honest and explain this is what you can afford and what would they like for that amount. Keep back a little for a few little surprises. Keep smiling and playing with them and it will be fine. if they see you looking miserable they will feel upset. They will take their lead form you.

I am assuming you already do a cash back site through the year and can draw down any money due in December. You could give family members home made gift tokens for a homemade cake, lawn mowing tokens if they live near to you, free babysitting, hand made cookies iced and put into a posh box. etc. One of the best gifts I have ever received is my sister who has very little money offered to look after my youngest son so we could have a weekend break alone on my 40th. I also once gave my auntie some plant cuttings I had taken from Fushia plants in my garden and potted up for her in brightly painted pots. My uncle told me it was her favourite gift because it showed I had been thinking of her as Fushias were her favourite plants. Think outside the box.

Thank you caringcarer they are some really lovely ideas

I feel ya. We have kids with December and January birthdays. We still haven't been able to start shopping because we've not had the money. Can't figure out why either. Hubby is on £40K a year and our rent is less than £350pcm!

Not to sound mean OP, but what if you shop in charity shops instead of giving a donation? I'm planning to buy photo frames from my local one. Print off a couple of pics of the DC, and give them to the grandparents. They love real pics.

Or at least they say they do. They do display them.

Don't give it you can't afford it.

No one will think ill of you, we've all had money troubles.

OP - please ignore if this is not appropriate..

But if money is tight, see the link below regarding your DC's birthday cakes. You will need to be referred to the scheme, but the cakes are awesome. All are baked by keen (volunteer) cake bakers and the child's interests / preferences / food tolerances etc. are all given to the baker.

www.freecakesforkids.org.uk

Yes!! Came back from holiday at end of August and it’s been constant financial disaster since. Car failed MOT and cost £200 to repair, both dog and cat been in and out of the vets, total costs £450 still waiting for insurance claims back, I need root canal plus other teeth treatment for £300. yesterday a warning light came on the car so have to take that today and our storage fees for our caravan are due any day that’s another £200. DSD 21st birthday in December too. Given that we have £240 unallocated ‘spare’ cash a month we are seriously struggling and it’s stressing me out no end

A little tip from a recovering debt drama queen here:

If you are struggling tell each company you owe and just pay a tiny amount, even if it's £1 so you don't default a payment... this has buggered us up in the past.

Next, tell all your friends and family due to a difficult year you've really had to cut back this year but you'll pop in with a token gift on Christmas Eve. Then on Christmas Eve pop over with some homemade mince pies and a big hug.

If they're your friends and family then they'll understand and be touched by your gesture. I would be xx

And post to the long distance ones! X

My children can't tell the difference between a £10 ebay gift and a £200 gift. With the adults cut back. We just buy for nephews and nieces, don't even bother with grandparents or siblings.

Children love baking and just having your time to play board games, jigsaws, ihide and seek.

It's doable on a budget.

Yes twinnywinny, sounds like our last few months. Circumstances have just obliterated whatever disposable income you thought we would have for a while.

I'm going to have a look through charity shops this weekend. And will do baked goods.

I've just sold some boots for £50 on ebay and nearly up to £10 on qmee.com surveys plus £15 nectar points so that's a big help.

I'm always worried about doing the token payment thing sawyerfishbiacuits. Do creditors not count that as a default or are they usually understanding? Good news is it won't be too long before we have the two months without having to pay council tax

OP, think your idea to invite people round for a drink instead's a good one.

To anyone stressing about affording Christmas, maybe dilute the expectations with a Yule-type element, too?

(Non-denominational version, so doesn't matter what your, or others', beliefs are: as mainly all about nature/turning of the dark winter months towards spring etc. It ties in really nicely with the eco theme!).

You could focus on making Saturday 21st December a really festive additional tradition for your family. Low-key, low-cost, old school ideas:

• maybe each family member (could be helped to, if very little) light their own, specially chosen candle for a group you've lit?

(From then on, you could make a little ceremony of re-lighting them every evening for a short while before young kids go off to bed. Any visitors between then and Christmas could add their own too).

• cosy story-telling by candlelight?

(nice as an alternative to being read to from books). Perhaps everybody (who is old enough) also share a few words about simple things they're thankful for/ hope to happen in 2020).

• crackling real log fire on your screen to add atmosphere, unless you have the real deal (in which case I'm green with envy!)

• homemade chocolate Yule log?

(kids could help make/decorate)

• if you are near to woods/countryside, maybe collect up some greenery for the kids to make some table decorations of their own?

Nice meal together.

• (if old enough) random act of kindness?

Can totally empathise with the pre-Xmas anxiety whilst struggling financially. Wish you all and DC a peaceful, happy time whatever you end up doing.

If your kids are young The Works do lovely light up spinners that cost 1.99 or 2.50. I have yet to meet a child that doesn't love them and they will be happy with those and sweets , choc Santa, a sugar mouse and a couple of cheap toys from the pound shop.
I bet you can't even remember what you bought anyone last year and neither can they so don't stress about it. Make Christmas biscuits to decorate and buy a cheap fruit cake and marzipan and icing and have fun making them. My daughter was only on about how much she loves the biscuit tradition in the days before christmas the other day and she is 20 next week ! They remember those things not what you bought them and those are their treasured memories of childhood christmas .

@Itsjeremycorbynsfault

Sainsburys are due doing their double up nectar bonus in the next week or two, so keep your points till then and you'll get £30 to spend in store for your £15.

A friend of mine had a tough time of it when her partner left, but her kids (3 under 10's) and wider circle didn't know.
At Christmas they made fudge, chocolates & cookies and give them as gifts in colourful boxes.
Instead of hosting a meal they did an evening of carol singing with homemade mince pies and mulled wine. They printed off sheets with the words and everyone sang along and had a very jolly time.
Good luck

Let us know how the shopping goes OP.

Well done on selling your boots. I am trying to sell stuff on ebay to raise some Christmas cash.

I was at a support group for my kids the other day and the conversation got to boots in the break. One lady said she didnt think shoes were worth repairing. I said I had mine glued but they were still leaking but I was trying not to spend money on myself. Then another lady who bless her was trying to be helpful told me where I could get decent discounted ones for abt £30. I smiled and said thank you knowing that I would not be buying said boots as I need to get more important stuff.

If I can budget to £8- 10 pp for about 8 of the 12 I hope I can manage it financially with the gifts. Then on other four it will be £15-30pp.

I know Martin Lewis is very marmite but he does make a good point about Christmas and having a no/low spend article about Christmas presents ..

Secret Santa for the adults ....

Don’t be embarrassed to tell relatives that due to circumstances, you can’t afford gift exchanges this year. These things happen.

Make sure you’re on the best utility bill plans and switch providers if you’re not. Cut back on food bills as much as you can for now and that might hopefully give you some extra to spend on your Christmas food bill and a few gifts for the kids.