any introverted parents out there? how do you manage stress etc

[magicmallow]

I'm a LP and realised that I am a complete introvert. Not so much socially - I mean in a sense that it takes me a lot of quiet me time to reset and feel ready for the world again.

I struggle to balance the demands of being a working LP on top of the school run, life etc.

To be honest I find the daily grind of the school run challenging - on top of all the running around, appointments, etc. It seems to trigger me off.

I struggle to cope, I find on weeks where we're running all over the place getting from A to B a real struggle. I get stressed out, which in turn triggers anxiety, poor eating, stress.

Does anyone have any coping mechanisms for dealing with a busy life, especially with kids, or as a LP, as an introvert?

Obviously I can't escape the school run, the appointments, work and suchlike. So really any tips on how to stop getting stressed with all the running around and sensory overload would be helpful. Thanks :)

A babysitter if you can afford one/if your child takes to one. Kids don’t get personal space.

I've found working full-time with after school childcare much easier than when I have tried to work school hours in the past. I enjoy the time I don have with the DCs much more.

Do your DCs go to their other parent's house any weekends? Would it be possible to look at whether you should have more weekend time with them and the other parent share some of the effort of weekday parenting, if applicable?

Ignore the random "don" don't know where he came from.

I pay someone to do school run. School isn’t walking distance and I work FT.

I’m a LP also. It’s hard to manage everything alone and without being to call upon the support of anyone. Not doing school run has made life easier.

I'm an introvert and I used to struggle, I also have anxiety and depression. The biggest help was learning that the difference between introverts and extroverts is simply that introverts need alone time to recharge their batteries and extroverts need to be around people to do so. I'm not suggesting that there aren't other things in play but simply being an introvert shouldn't affect you socially if you give yourself sufficient down time.

Following!

Do any neighbouring kids attend the same school? You could perhaps alternate the school run with their parent(s), thus halving the hassle of that.
As PPs said, you need some quiet time. Banish the DC to their rooms to do their school homework while you slob out with a nice book and glass of wine for an hour.
Organise a regular babysitter so you can go out alone to somewhere peaceful - a country walk, in a forest or up a hill is very soothing.
I don’t know if you are widowed or divorced, but if the latter, make sure your ex is doing a fair share of the childcare. Including the donkey work of driving them to hobbies and appointments.
It’s mostly a matter of planning, and giving fair consideration to your own needs in the family timetable, not just being a slave to the DC’s requirements. They need their mum to be emotionally well and stable, anyway, much more than they need to be whizzed around to a million activities.
Good luck, OP. I do know how it is- I’m autistic and was widowed when my DC were babies. 28 years later, we’ve all got through ok, and I’m enjoying my retirement.

Hi OP. I think it feels challenging because it is challenging!
I consider myself more of an extrovert but still the lack of quality alone time is really hard as a LP.
I finish work early a couple of times a week. I used to use those days to pick up DD straight from school and we would go swimming or to the cinema. Now I pick her up one of the days and the other day she goes to an after school club and I go to the gym.
My mental and physical health was suffering from the stress and the gym helps.
I also drink wine but interestingly DD is with her dad this week and I haven't wanted to drink wine at all - just lots of lovely quiet and sleep!

I thought I was an introvert until I came onto MN. People here have completely different perceptions & definitions from me.

Other people in my vicinity don't bother me at all. They are like trees to pick my way thru in the forest. I don't have to interact in any way. So school run not a hassle.

DC aren't supposed to bother me after 9pm (mixed success).

I can encourage DC to talk to me without me talking back; I just filter thru their babble every 3rd sentence for anything I need to know & engage with.

Driving doesn't tire my introvertness out, just another obstacle course.

Not having a social life of my own is easy (obviously).

I imagine being a LP is just tiring full stop, no matter how extroverted you are, there's so much to remember & try to get right & then making decisions is harder since you don't have someone adult to discuss things with. You have to step up to bat even when exhausted.

I probably am not posting anything helpful to OP. Dunno what trigger means to her, either.

Hi OP,
Yes!! This is my first post here. Absolutely, I am a LP and I am an introvert and I find the demands of my children's social lives absolutely exhausting. I am preparing for secondary transition with my oldest child who it turns out is on the spectrum, both ASD and ADHD, but is high functioning so that's a whole 'nother challenge!
I have had to reduce my working hours in order to get the recharging space to allow me to do the school run in the morning, and they go to after school care every day. My ex is deeply unhelpful (I believe struggling with unrecognised ASD) so I have no support there.
It is difficult finding contact with too many people (including children) draining and yet needing support at the same time, when you just want to curl up alone (which is also impossible amongst all the hands and feet which leave their own beds to seek you out in the middle of the night!)
In short, really call upon as much help as you can, counselling/therapy can also help...and remembering that they are only small for a short time! This too shall pass!

I am an introvert who does an extrovert job that requires to spend 13hrs in the company of many other people who all need to talk to me and be talked to. There is no escape from the people and their demands (some days I don't get a break). It is a very stressful job as well as being so peoply, I love it but it is very hard work. I do feel a need to decompress from work in peace and quiet, which means I don't go to sleep at a sensible time either because I get home after 9pm and can't go straight to sleep so am always exhausted.
DC2 started school in September, so I do now have peace and quiet on some of my days off work to stay in my house with no one talking to me. The school run can be hard from the point of getting 2 reluctant DC up and out of the house and they argue with each other and talk over each other and shout and scream while we walk there. I don't generally speak to many other parents because I am too anti social for making conversation and don't know what to say etc.
I do have DH, so DC have someone else to talk to/ at as well as me and each other, which helps. It is exhausting though and sometimes I just want to say 'please stop talking to me.' I also feel guilty that I don't engage with other parents and invite them and their children round to play, because our house is too messy and I can't cope with having other people here.

I'm not a LP but I am an introvert with a challenging job and I do most of the school runs and other running the children around. I definitely recognise myself in your OP.
Things that help me are:
Not doing too many after school activities. Friday in particular is sacred and we have an easy dinner and a family film night instead of bedtime stories.
One DC does a 3hr Saturday morning club which gives me a very quiet morning.
I used to have a cleaner, which was great, but can't afford it right now.
Playing audiobooks in the car which keeps the children calm.
Having some time off during the week while the children are at school (I work 4 days).
Allowing quite a lot of screen time at weekends.
Getting out for a walk.
Shopping online.

Say no to lots of things.

I am introverted and find social occasions exhausting. The trouble is that other parents must think I don't like them when I decline their invitations when that is not true.
I do force myself to do a small number of socials every year just to show my face and for my children.