I'm meant to be going away tomorrow and the Mum guilt is getting to me

[DPJ1973]

As per the title really.

I've got tomorrow off with the kids (inset day). We have lovely things planned, then I'm dropping them off at my Brother's house where they'll stay over night and then get picked up the next lunchtime by their Dad.

DD (7) was sad when I put her to bed this evening. She said she's going to miss me tomorrow evening.

My rational mind is telling me that it's fine. My Brother and SIL have two children the same age as mine. They'll play together and they're going out for breakfast. If either DD does get sad they'll be given love and comfort as DB and SIL are loving, affectionate people.

But I'm freaking out. I feel sick at the thought of them missing me. I'm selfish. I'll not enjoy myself anyway now because I'll end up crying because I think they will be.

I have issues, I know this. I have shared custody with my ExH and it affects me greatly. I hate eating into my limited time with them, but I told myself at the time it was only a few hours in reality. Please help me get a grip.

I should add I'll be with them until just before they go to bed tomorrow.

They will be absolutely fine & I am sure won’t miss you as much as they think they will. Please try to enjoy yourself - you are allowed to have fun. It’s not as if you are leaving them at home alone!

Get a grip! I do mean this kindly!

They might miss you. You might miss them. It won’t hurt them. It’s less than 12 hours and they’ll be with their cousins.

They’ll have so much fun!

Go enjoy yourself. They will be fine.

OP I am exactly the same so I'm no help to you. But at least you arent alone! 😁. I miss them terribly when I go away. I am away for 2 nights the end of the month and thinking about it now is making me anxious. Not because I dont think they will be cared for because they will be spoilt rotten! Its because I'm imagining them missing me and being sad. And that makes me feel guilty that I'm not with them every second of the day. Which is ridiculous. And my rational mind tells me that me and DH need some time to be just me and DH and not mum and dad!

They'll be ok, they really will. Try to focus on being where you are rather than having your mind keep going back to your kids.

I'm the same kind of parent as you and I was a the kid who didn't want to be away from my mum! However I pretty much always had a lovely time (only one occasion of going away with someone I didn't know very well, otherwise always thought I would horribly miss mum- was always fine!)

Thank you for your kind words. I was never going to be 'that' parent. My parents left me for holidays etc without any guilt, but I worry so much. I do the same, I imagine them being sad and it really gets to me.