Appointment with hospital after traumatic birth?

[LLMD]

Just wondering if anyone else has ever had a review appointment with their hospital after a traumatic birth?

I’ve been given an appointment for in 2 weeks to “discuss the events of my recent pregnancy” and wondered if anyone could help me with what to expect?

Basically, my care at the hospital lead to sepsis and my baby being born extremely unwell needing some treatments which could have long lasting effects on his life. I am struggling now with anxiety and feel really angry about the whole situation.

Any advice or help would be incredible.

Thanks

Hello I’m very sorry to hear what a scary time you had. I had a birth review, not focused on after care. A senior midwife requested my notes and read them with me, explaining what had happened and answering questions (where she could, she only had the notes to go on)

Thanks @Passthecherrycoke

I had the same as you while I was still in hospital, but to be honest I was dazed, still unwell and on an absolute ton of pain relief so didn’t really take it all in.

I remember trying to read my own notes in the middle of the night because they were hardly ever left in their box at the end of my bed. But suppose they will probably have them with them at this appointment.

Just need some answers really so we can understand the full situation and try to move forward, it’s consuming my life at the moment.

Yes I had one of these, my advice is start writing down any questions or comments now so you dont forget anything. I didnt do this and just couldnt think properly (obviously knackered and sleep deprived). I also took my mum along too and told her to bring up anything she could think of aswell.

hello, I think this an opportunity for you to get some answers to what went wrong, why and what the effects will be. It may not be that the person you meet has the answers but they should make a note of you questions and find them out. Although for you this has occurred due to a birth the same process is followed where a patient has experienced harm or required additional treatment when being under NHS care. They should also give you info about the complaints and compensation process. But primarily this meeting is to explain what on Earth happened x

At ours they talked through the notes which said what happened. I’d go with a list of questions but also have a timeline of what you think happened to compare to what is on the hospital notes. Also, I found asking questions along the lines of ‘why didn’t the midwife do x’ or ‘how come no one asked consent for y’ really good to ask. The midwife was very gentle and happy to be thorough- don’t be scared to ask.

Thanks for the advice.

I already have started the list of questions and have started writing my complaint too.

I will sit with DP and write up a timeline of what happened, he will know better as I had an EMCS under general anaesthetic so I’ve lost 1-2days of memory, I get little flashbacks but can’t be sure any of it is accurate so best going off DPs brain than mine!

Thanks everyone.

I had mine about 18 months after ds was born. Couldn't even begin to face it before that point (ptsd).

It was a very healing process for us and got the ball rolling for lots of other support that was needed. After the briefing I was instantly referred for specialist counselling and treatment. We also had things put in place for if we decided to have another child.

5 years on from the birth and I'm hoping to soon be ready for further specialist treatment for the PTSD.

I'm so sorry that happened to you. Nothing is more scary. I had several debriefs (all relating to the same birth). They were very helpful for me. One shortly after, one as part of the review that the hospital did whenever a baby was unexpectedly admitted to NICU, one to discuss the results of that review, one that I requested 3 years later when I was thinking about another baby and one about 35 weeks into the pregnancy with my second child. I had severe PND as a result of DD's birth and the subsequent uncertainties about her long term health.

I guess what I'm saying is, don't feel you have to come away from any meeting feeling as though you have closure. If they don't offer more meetings in future, ask them to confirm that this will be possible. The way you feel now will be different from the way you feel in several months when you know more about DC's long term prospects, and it'll be different again if and when you start thinking about another baby. You don't need to ask all your questions straight away - you don't even need to know what all those questions are.

Really hope it's a helpful process for you.

Hi there, firstly I’m so sorry you’ve experienced this, I can only imagine how tormented you must feel.
Can I ask, how old is your baby now? I ask this because evidence shows that the earliest time that birth reflections are useful is approximately 14 weeks postnatal.
Disclaimer: I am a midwife and covered ptsd following childbirth for my dissertation so have done a fair bit of research on it.
I do hope the reflection helps you, but as a pp said don’t feel that you have to have everything answered and resolved in one session, often it takes multiple sessions to come close to acceptance, and even then you may not

Cuppa, with the deepest of respect, I don't think that this is about 'acceptance' - it's about answers for what may have been poor care, or a lack of communication to name only a couple of things that may have happened.
OP doesn't need to accept anything. On the other hand, there may well be things that she needs to have explained, help to process and come to terms with.
To give an example, following on from a mmc and subsequent delivery of a foetus at home (after an erpc), should I accept the hospital's reasoning that I may have been carrying twins and only lost one at the erpc? Never. (I had only had one foetus visible on a previous scan). It would have been far better for them to have said 'we might have made a mistake in your care'.
I have processed what happened and moved past it, but I could never accept on the way you suggest as it brought me close to a breakdown. I still remember that horrible feeling of being on the edge of sanity to this day.
Sorry to potentially derail the thread LLMD, but felt I needed to make the point.
I sincerely hope the appointment brings you some answers and understanding as to what happened and why, but also offers you any support you may need in the future.

Thanks for all the different perspectives.

For me, I just need acknowledgement that what happened was down to the lack of care I received at hospital (I am sure this was the case), I told any medical person who would listen how much pain I was in and how I knew it was a urine/kidney infection as I had suffered with them my whole life. No one listened. A urine sample was not even taken until day 3 and by then the infection had developed into Sepsis and I didn’t know who or where I was. About 3 hours after the sample was taken they came back to me and said I needed the c section immediately and I was taken straight to theatre.

My boy was born incredibly unwell and whisked straight off to NICU where he received hypothermic treatment to try and stop the brain from swelling and was ventilated, tube fed and given lots of pain relief.

He’s now 3 months old and I’ve researched that treatment and and the outcomes of using it and there’s a lot of indication he will have difficulties throughout his life, awaiting MRI results so we know where we stand.

I agree it’s not necessarily about acceptance for me, but acknowledgement that the hospital caused this and it’s going to affect my life forever. Then I can try to process what has happened and try to get the right help.

I am sorry that many of you have had a horrible experience too, since this happened I have realised it’s all too common that people are in this position.

I work for the NHS and understand the lack of funding/staffing etc but that can’t be used as an excuse for causing life changing problems for people.

Oh LLMD I'm so sorry. That sounds horrific. Sadly you may never get an 'it was our fault', I didn't, but I did get an acknowledgement of where care had failed and reassurance that next time I would be taken much more seriously (and mostly, I was).

I don't know if it's any help, but DD had the cooling treatment and is now absolutely fine. She was followed up for about two years and then discharged. She was graded as moderate HIE on admission but her MRI was ok. Bear in mind that they will pick up on tiny things that could be an indication of future problems or could be completely normal and wouldn't even be noticed if the baby want under consultant care. This is scary at first but becomes less so over time.

Do feel free to PM me if it would be helpful. 5 years on and it is all a lot easier to remember and talk about, especially after some therapy (which I would highly recommend if you have access to it)