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Original poster

I wish I didn’t feel so embarrassed and awkward breastfeeding my toddler in public.

33 replies

RebornFlame · 24/10/2019 10:44

I’ve never had any negative comments and never had any problem feeding in public when he was a baby but I just feed really uncomfortable now. I try to find a discreet place but we’re currently on holiday and with a 6 year old we’re pretty much living in the club house or playground.

Can anyone reassure me please?!

OP posts:
StickyToffeeTart · 24/10/2019 10:47

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest, I hope I can breastfeed DS that long!

StickyToffeeTart · 24/10/2019 10:48

Sorry, that came out wrong, to clarify, seeing you wouldn't bother me 😂 I understand why you're nervous! But I don't think you should have to be

Carparkticket · 24/10/2019 10:48

I had the same. I kept saying to myself I would not let people make me feel bad about it but I still felt annoyed when he wanted to feed in public and I am still sad about it. Because there was nothing wrong with it and I let the pressure affect me and get grumpy.
I still did it though, I refused to stop because of other people judgement. And I think it is important for other mums in the same situation.

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Breast & bottle feeding Families
Original poster
RebornFlame · 24/10/2019 10:48

Thank you! My first boy took a bottle as well as bf so I sidstepped any self consciousness I had.

OP posts:
Ahundredpercentthatbitch · 24/10/2019 10:48

I always feel a little bit jealous when I see mums breastfeeding toddlers. My youngest is three now and I really miss it. Wish I’d don’t it longer than 18 months. It’s so lovely. I feel sad when I think I’ll never do it again!

Chillisauceboss · 24/10/2019 10:50

How old is the toddler? (I'm not judging in currently feeding my 14 month old and plan to for as long as possible!)

skunkatanka · 24/10/2019 10:54

Does a toddler really need milk while you're out and about? Could he not just have a snack and some water?

ThanksForYourHelp · 24/10/2019 10:56

I breastfed my daughter in public so long that I've forgotten how old she was when we stopped. You're not responsible for other people's reactions and opinions--but you are responsible for your own child. Maintain your bond as long as you want. I'm rooting for you!

SunshineAngel · 24/10/2019 10:59

Look, I know there is a lot of attention on breast-feeding and how women should be able to do it in public.. but that's only if they WANT to. If you don't feel comfortable, and would rather go somewhere private, do that.

Is there no way he could have a bottle when you're outside? The majority of people I know who BF toddlers only do so before they go to bed.. although obviously it's entirely up to you.

EskewedBeef · 24/10/2019 11:00

If it makes you feel uncomfortable, only do it at times when you can relax (presuming the toddler can have other forms of sustenance when you're out and about).

Original poster
RebornFlame · 24/10/2019 11:04

That’s the ‘problem’ he usually feeds to sleep or for comfort if he’s unsure so on holiday nap times and sleep generally take place in public and he’s wanting comfort in a new place. Just like bottles and dummies, breastfeeding is often more about comfort than food.

He’s 18 m

OP posts:
Jent13c · 24/10/2019 11:07

I stopped at 17 months, we were both ready and it stopped 4x nightly wakeups for me. I did notice a big social change after about 15 months, once he was properly walking about and starting chatting. I didn't feel so comfortable feeding him out and about anymore. Thankfully he tended to only want it when we were in the house together and he was bored.

BaronessBomburst · 24/10/2019 11:09

I wouldn't bat an eyelid at a child that age BF in public.

Are people really even noticing?

Original poster
RebornFlame · 24/10/2019 11:10

He’s a bottle refuser.

OP posts:
Original poster
RebornFlame · 24/10/2019 11:12

Baroness: I’m sure their not. It’s my own self consciousness!

OP posts:
RolytheRhino · 24/10/2019 11:12

Do what makes you happy, OP. I feed mine in public when she wants it- usually if she's feeling a bit I'll or she's hurt herself. She's 16mo currently. Most people will be too glued to their phones to even notice tbh.

RolytheRhino · 24/10/2019 11:13

*ill, not I'll

Chillisauceboss · 24/10/2019 11:14

I no longer breastfeed in public with my 14
Month old as I no longer breastfeed on demand. She became incredibly demanding when she learnt how to ask and how to get down my top! This happened just as I was about to go back to work (she was 12 months) and I knew if she was feeding and taking comfort only from me then she wouldn't settle with her grandparents or childminder. She now feeds 5am, 7am, 7pm and before all naps on my days off and at weekends. I would have loved to have carried in feeding on demand and in public if necessary but it was too much for me. She now settles really well and will have a cuddle or a dummy at childminders (I couldn't get her to take to a toy or blanket unfortunately!)
If you truly feel uncomfortable then seek a private spot or explain to them that milk happens at home / in bed and maybe get them a special teddy instead?

AlwaysOnAbloodyDiet · 24/10/2019 11:21

An 18 month old is practically only a baby. I wouldn't bat an eyelid if I saw it, in fact I'd think 'how lovely'

I think (as long as you're comfortable) it's important to normalise breastfeeding, and not to 'hide away'

Enjoy it and the closeness Smile

Original poster
RebornFlame · 24/10/2019 11:27

alwaysonadiet I completely agree with you in theory which is why my own awkwardness around it is winding me up!

OP posts:
MumofTinies · 24/10/2019 11:28

I've felt this way too OP, it can be quite a lonely experience breastfeeding an older baby/toddler as no one else appears to do it. DS is 2 now and only wants to feed at home so seems like our breastfeeding in public days are over.

I just tried to remember that giving a toddler a breastfeed out and about is by far preferable to a toddler losing thier shit in public Grin

Cotswoldmama · 24/10/2019 11:28

18 months is still so young really don't feel self conscious. I stopped breastfeeding my son just before he was 3 and I fed him whenever he needed to. It got less and less the older he got but he's always been really big and tall for his age so I guess maybe we were always in view of other people but I've never had any negativity.
We went to Peppa pig world during the summer hols and I saw a mother breastfeeding her daughter whilst carrying her around and she must have been at least 3. It made me just feel envious that she was still breastfeeding and I thought what a strong lady to be multitasking like that! And breastfeeding so openly.

Selmababies · 24/10/2019 11:30

Why would you even consider giving him a bottle now as an alternative to breast feeding at his age?
If you're offering an alternative use a sucky cup or whatever they're called now, rather than setting up a dependancy on a baby's bottle.
In your shoes, I'd also start looking at finding other ways to help them settle for a nap etc.
Not saying you need to stop the breastfeeding, but just gentle encouraging DS to move on to more choices for you and for him.

ohmysoul · 24/10/2019 11:49

It's really hard. My DD is 2 now and I still feed her in public whenever she wants it. I went through a phase a couple of months ago of being really embarrassed about it but I just sort of pushed through and am back to not being bothered what people think again. Remember that most people won't notice what you're doing and it's completely natural.

Original poster
RebornFlame · 24/10/2019 15:12

Thanks everyone for reassuring me.
I’m not thinking about trying a bottle now. I had a nightmare weaning his big brother off his!

OP posts:
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