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Need a handhold please, on tenterhooks with very frail and ill Dad. Non-Hodgkin's lymphoma recurrence is likely.

7 replies

pigeononthegate · 24/10/2019 00:00

Nothing definite yet. My darling Dad had Burkitt lymphoma stage 4 a few years ago, he was very very lucky to survive and the chemo was brutal, but he's still with us. His dementia was accelerated by the trauma and the chemo and he's quite frail and vulnerable now.

His partner took him to the doctor a few days ago because he had a cut on his head that seemed to be spreading and darkening, the GP thought it might be melanoma and referred him to a dermatologist.

Then this morning he started complaining of stomach pain, vomiting and his temperature rocketed. Went to the GP who examined him and could feel swellings in his abdomen. This is exactly how he presented in 2016 when he had the lymphoma. The GP had him taken straight to the surgical assessment unit at the hospital, he's had a blood test and his white count is abnormal. They'll be doing scans tomorrow.

He's completely confused and keeps forgetting why he's there and telling the nurses there's nothing wrong with him. He's not diagnosed with dementia as he refuses to engage with any services over it, he won't discuss his memory difficulties at all.

My kids have already been through having to say goodbye to their beloved Grandad once (several times, actually) and we've all been so relieved that he came through. I had months of commuting from the SW to the Midlands every week while he was on the cancer ward, seeing him lose his hair and his memory and go through so much pain and fear. I don't think I can face it all again.

OP posts:
Horsemad · 24/10/2019 00:07

Sad sorry you're up against this. Are you nearby now or are you waiting for news from his partner?

pigeononthegate · 24/10/2019 00:08

I live 200 miles away from them unfortunately so I'm waiting for news by phone. If it's bad news I'll be on the first train.

OP posts:
DramaAlpaca · 24/10/2019 00:11

I'm sorry to hear this. It's so difficult, especially when you are far away & can't be there all the time. A handhold from me Flowers

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WildImaginings · 24/10/2019 00:14

I don't have anything helpful to contribute really but I am here and thinking of you Flowers

Horsemad · 24/10/2019 00:20

Try and rest, even if you don't get much sleep - it'll help a bit.

Thinking of you pigeonthegate.

pigeononthegate · 24/10/2019 00:24

I am going to try and get some sleep I think, I can't do anything else tonight. Phoned the hospital and he's still on the surgical assessment unit, the doctor who is meant to see him is stuck in theatre. Dad is asleep.

Thanks for the handholding, I'll update in the morning Flowers

OP posts:
DramaAlpaca · 24/10/2019 00:35

Getting some sleep is a good idea. You need to take care of yourself, too.

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