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Original poster

Feel like the worst parent ever - 2-year-old badly burned hand

43 replies

AveAtqueVale · 23/10/2019 22:57

Just posting because I feel so awful and don't really know what to do with myself. Staying in a hotel for a few nights with a log burner in the room. Wasn't intending to light it until the kids were in bed, but then had the bright idea I'd warm up their pyjamas on the fireguard while they were in the bath, as they'd only be in the same room for a few minutes while they got ready for bed and DH and I would be right there.

Completely forseeably, in two and a half seconds with DH and I both only feet from him, the two-year-old decided to stick his hand onto the glass of the burner. Both of us saw him about to do it and got to him a millisecond too late. Despite 20 minutes under a cold tap started immediately he's got two giant blisters on his palm, and absolutely sobbed his heart out for about forty minutes earlier until we were able to get ibuprofen as well as the calpol we'd brought with us down him. He kept begging me to fix it and didn't understand why I couldn't.

It looks so painful, and I feel so sorry for him and so guilty. WHY did I not just leave the damn thing off?! FFS. Not only was it a totally forseeable accident, I'd specifically thought about it beforehand and dismissed the risk, and then WATCHED IT HAPPEN.

I'm supposed to be getting some sleep while DH stays up to give him his next calpol dose but I just can't switch my brain off. I've never felt so totally inadequate and shit as a parent.

OP posts:
GleamInYourEyes · 23/10/2019 22:58

Have you got him medical attention?

SheRaTheAllPowerful · 23/10/2019 22:59

Are you sure it doesn’t need further treatment? I’d get to A&E burns can get a lot worse if untreated

greathat · 23/10/2019 22:59

He needs to go a &e

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greathat · 23/10/2019 22:59

The damage can continue even after the source of the burn is gone

tmh88 · 23/10/2019 23:00

Accidents happen so don’t beat yourself up about it although with his age and that it’s blistered he will probably need a&e!

Keepmewarm · 23/10/2019 23:01

You need to get it looked at.

Original poster
AveAtqueVale · 23/10/2019 23:03

I'm a doctor. He doesn't need A&E unless he needs more pain relief than we can manage with ibuprofen and calpol tonight, and at the moment he's sleeping ok so I'm very reluctant to wake him and subject him to an hour's drive. We'll take him to minor injuries in the morning if they look like they need it/ he's still in a lot of pain. They're superficial burns, just big. And unfortunately superficial ones are often the most painful Sad.

OP posts:
Northernsoullover · 23/10/2019 23:03

Yes, you do need to go to A & E. My son had blisters after a cup of coffee got knocked on to him (from the centre of the table in front of my eyes) and they took it very seriously in A & E.

WillaDaPeephole · 23/10/2019 23:04

Even small burns on children’s hands need to be seen by medics as they can restrict hand movement later on if they scar.

Northernsoullover · 23/10/2019 23:05

I've just seen you're a doctor therefore you know about infection from burns. All good and don't feel guilty.

Dinosauratemydaffodils · 23/10/2019 23:06

Pretty sure I was told by my GP sister in law that all burns/scalds which cause blisters need medical attention (after I put my arm over the spout of a just boiling kettle whilst half asleep). I would get him checked out.

MrsXx4 · 23/10/2019 23:07

I think you need to go to A&E. Try not to beat yourself up, accidents happen and things like this happen too fast sometimes! Just this morning my 10 month old grabbed my hair straighteners, I took him straight down to A&E and felt loads better once reassured by the medics, however, I’ve replayed what happened all day and I’m sitting up still now thinking about how shit I am to have let it happen!

On a serious note though, there are signs to be watching out for after a burn has happened (it could all be fine I don’t want to scare you) I’ve left my leaflet downstairs but I would definitely suggest he gets checked out and you find out what you should be doing / looking out for.

Majorcollywobble · 23/10/2019 23:07

It’s natural to beat yourself up about it but accidents happen . Fortunately it’s confined to his palm only . Best to get him checked out though .
I’ve seen full upper body scarring on children that age from full mugs of tea . Scars on lower body from burst hot water bottles .
Any medical professional you see will have seen this before and much worse so get some sleep and stop going down the “what if ? “ line of thought .

MrsXx4 · 23/10/2019 23:07

Oh just seen your update!

Dinosauratemydaffodils · 23/10/2019 23:08

Ah cross posted. These things happen, beating yourself up isn't going to help.

ToodlesnOOdleSAR · 23/10/2019 23:11

You've said it yourself - it was an accident. It came from a good place, wanting to warm PJ's up before bed.
I'd feel absolutely terrible too, but you know things just do happen sometimes. And I'm a million percent sure you'd never let this happen again.
Carry on with the pain relief and lots of love for the little man and try and be grateful that it's just his hand. It could have been worse and it wasn't because of your quick reaction Flowers

MzHz · 23/10/2019 23:13

Keep an eye on his temperature, be mindful of toxic shock

My ds was burnt and spent 2 weeks in hospital, it’s a tough journey, but it WAS an accident

Burns aren’t like any other accident, the guilt and blame we have for ourselves is off the scale. Be kind to yourselves, he will be ok, but he absolutely does need to see someone tomorrow, because he’s a baby and it’s a serious burn.

Candle1000 · 23/10/2019 23:14

If it’s any consolation, my dd stuck her hand in the oven and touched the element while I was in the kitchen with her. She still bears the scar 19 years later. Kids move so quickly sometimes, please don’t beat yourself up.

The burn didn’t look too bad initially and I was in two minds about taking her to A&E , but I did anyway and we had to attend every day for a week to have the burn dressed.

I hope your little one is ok .

Fefifoefum · 23/10/2019 23:20

You do need to go to a&e. Any child with a burn to their hand needs to go to a burns centre...

jellyjellyinmybelly · 23/10/2019 23:24

I'm a doctor of a relevant specialty, and my husband used to do plastics /burns.

Criteria for discussion with burns service includes all burns to hands

'In addition, the following factors should prompt a discussion with a Consultant in a specialised burn
care service and consideration given to referral:
All burns to hands, feet, face, perineum or genitalia'

See here www.britishburnassociation.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/National-Burn-Care-Referral-Guidance-2012.pdf

The risk is tendon contractures as burns heal so I would advise seeking help /advice tomorrow. They may well say you're fine with dressings but you need to be in the system. A delay in presentation is also more likely to raise child protection as an issue, though the mechanism of your son's burn is completely classical so I very highly doubt it would be an issue.

My kids have got into all sorts of scrapes, and I've at times not taken them into hospital when I should have (salbutamol 10 puffs every 1.5 hours is not sensible at home...). It's really hard to be a doctor and a mum and get it right. Go be a parent and get someone else to be the doctor. (first thing tomorrow should be fine though if he's comfortable and asleep by now). Flowers

gamerchick · 23/10/2019 23:24

You're a doctor and you don't think a big burn doesnt need properly looking at and you're just giving painkillers? Hmm

If you were that sure of yourself, you wouldn't be posting on here.

CatherineOfAragonsPrayerBook · 23/10/2019 23:30

Go to A&E. When my DS was 6 he did a stupid stunt on the sofa and I went against my intuition and trusted a locum at emergency walk in clinic that as he could turn his hand and wrist, then all was well. Calpol etc go home.

Next day he was still complaining. So reluctantly went A&E.

Broken wrist. I still feel shit about delaying 17 years later.

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 23/10/2019 23:35

Just offering a bit of sympathy, but also to say that when I burnt my own hand (forgot I wasn't wearing an oven glove!) I found having my hand in cold water eased the pain but as soon as I took it out it stung like hell.

I did try and brave it out but eventually went to A&E in the early hours and the burn was coated with what I can only assume was magic cream which took all the pain away. I wish I could remember the name of it for you! Hopefully as a doctor you'll be able to identify it. It worked anyway.

gamerchick · 23/10/2019 23:39

Getting the air off it helps with the pain, or it stings like a bastard.

My middle kid burnt his hand when he was a toddler. It was big but didn't look too bad but took him to hospital anyway. I was shocked when they transferred him to another hospital and had to go back again and again until they were happy.

Can't fuck about with big burns. If he's sleeping now, take him when he wakes up to get checked over. I think sometimes it's hard to split ourselves into 2 people. Mam is always first and foremost, isn't that why they say don't treat family (or is that a myth)? When you've had a shock?

Slappadabass · 23/10/2019 23:42

Im sure as a doctor you have seen many accidents like this, it happens. I know it feels shit, and I know nothing anyone will say will make you stop beating yourself up but just remember, you aren't the only parent who has been in this situation, we can't be on the ball 24/7, and even if we are sometimes accidents just happen.
Hopefully the pain eases soon for him, try not to be too hard on yourself and get some sleep!

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