Stressful mornings getting kids dressed

[Debbied123]

Hey, this is my first mumsnet post. My DD is 7 and DS is 4.

For the past several months we have been having major issues getting my DD dressed in the morning.

As soon as she starts getting clothes on she complains that they are making her itchy, everywhere. She screams and rolls about on the floor and goes bananas basically.

We’ve checked her skin and no rash, dry patches, signs of irritation, no change in washing powder or fabric softener.

Also sometimes it’s a major issue, other times she puts on the same thing, washed with the same stuff and nothing, bedding doesn’t annoy her.

Then we thought is it a tactic to get out of school, was something wrong but as far as we can see she loves school, hates the thought of missing it or being late because she won’t get dressed.

We’ve talked about it calmly, tried hugging her and soothing her through it, tried being firmer and saying this is what she needs to wear and I’m ashamed to say we’ve also been so stressed out that we’ve shouted at her over it.

She gets angry with the whole thing and doesn’t know herself what’s wrong.

It’s not just school uniform but normal clothes too.

She doesn’t like scratchy fabrics or jeans so I know there is a bit of an issue with tactile things.

Anyone else been through this scenario??

Cheers D x

Sounds a bit like my DS. He has an ASD diagnosis - not saying your DD has autism but perhaps a sensory issue? DS can just about deal with school uniform now because it's a rule and that makes it easier for him to understand why he has to wear it, but he still can't stand the feel of certain fabrics, or anything that has to be put on over his head (jumpers especially) or labels. Labels is a fairly easy one to fix as you might be able to cut them out. If there are fabrics she is comfortable with, you might be able to introduce some base layers, eg vest, leggings? We also order DS special socks from a sensory store; they don't have seams and are the only ones he can tolerate.

My DD (7) says this and it's at this time of year when it gets colder and heating comes on. Unbearable itching. I tell her she needs to drink more water and give her some moisturiser. Seems to help. Probably because she feels she's doing something about it rather than it helping!

Is she showering in the morning? I have no idea why but I get unbearably itchy if I dress too soon after showering. I shower in the evenings because of it.

This is my DD also and she is also On the asd spectrum. At the moment, outside of school she will wear approximately 4 items out of the 50+ she has in her wardrobe

I bought soft trousers from asda (the ones with a little charm attached) and she wears a look shirt and cardigan. Could your 're try some softer materials? Not sure if this would help. My dd used to wear anything and everything so they can change.

Is school flexible about uniform enough that she could wear trousers instead of tights and a skirt?

I was like this as a child, really struggled with a lot of textures. I used to wear a vest underneath everything and soft leggings-style trousers.

Have you asked her what she does find comfortable?

Definitely sounds like a sensory issue. I'm like it (not ASD) but have kids who also have sensory issues who do have Asd. If anxiety is high sensory issues will be intensified. So the first thing I would do is look at how to reduce stress in her morning routine - slowing it down, bit of mindfulness, not being in a rush etc.

My DD(7) is like this. It helps massively to wear knee high socks in the required colour rather than "itchy" tights. Also soft vests under her blouse, and a cardigan that is a bit too big - although I do then have to fold up the sleeves.

Is part of the issue tiredness in the morning? My DD is not a morning person at all and, although I am sure others on here might disagree with the approach, I help her get dressed on school mornings as it is just too much for her half asleep. The added bonus is that with my help it is quicker which means she can sleep a little later in the morning.

One of my friends daughters had sensory processing disorder. She wasn't autistic but would do the same about clothes - especially tights. She had to buy super soft tights and wash and soften things over and over so she would wear them. It might be worth a bit of research about it.

Trousers could help, they’re a lot easier.

DS struggles with clothes and with hindsight he has since all the toddler battles over getting dressed. He wears shorts and a polo shirt for school. Will not do any jumper. Will not do trousers. I'm dreading secondary as all schools are blazer, tie, stiff collar and trousers... Outside school he wears t-shirts, shorts and fluffy jumpers and that's about it!

He has a disgnosis of dyspraxia which can often accompany SPD, but no official diagnosis of SPD yet. He is on a waiting list for ASD assessment.

My daughter is autistic and we have similar issues. Letting her choose trousers and a shit ton of fabric softener helps. Sounds weird but rubbing or brushing her legs firmly first can sometimes help desensitize her

Ha, one of my siblings used to have this issue. My parents used to sprinkle their clothes with magic anti itch powder 😉

Saying that, I've got leggings on today and I've been itching something chronic!

Done. I had to change one of my answers for the top priorities because the "other" option wouldn't work