Should I quit my job?

[angelwinter]

I've recently returned to work after having my 3rd child. I only work Saturdays and Sundays but I'm considering quitting.

I would be really great full if you could help my decide what to do.

Reasons for quitting:

My eldest 2 children are both at school so I don't see them at all throughout the day during term time.

My dp is struggling trying to entertain 3 young children all weekend. We have no one else who can help.

Youngest is still breastfeeding and only sometimes willingly takes from a bottle for dp when I'm not there. She does drink it but it takes a lot of attention from our older 2 and they feel left out.

I have no time to do anything as a family.

It's causing a lot of friction between me and dp.

We could manage just about financially.

Reasons for continuing to work:

I have always worked from 17 apart from being on maternity leave.

I would feel quite vulnerable not having my own (small) income.

I find the people I work with a great support network who I can talk to and enjoy the company of adults.

I would basically feel a bit lost without purpose.

That's basically the main points so what would you do?

I'd love to hear if anyone who's been in a similar position.

Can you work in the weekdays? I know you would need childcare but it might be worth it for your sanity? I wouldn't work weekends with little children for the reasons you mention.

I would leave if you can manage financially. I once worked weekends as I was setting up a business during the week. It was miserable.

It is so miserable! If I quit I plan on working weekdays once my youngest is at nursery.

Can you work one day over the weekend? It will give you a break and you can spend time as a family on the other day?

My current job will not allow me one day at the weekend. I could look for another job now for just one day at the weekend.

Honestly, I'd quit, family time is precious. Does DP have any flexibility with hours during the week? So if something suitable came along you could apply?

I would quit too.

What time do your dc finish school? Can't you plan to do lovely things with them after school, family dinner time, family game before bedtime, family outing before bedtime (is your dp home then too, or do you have the whole after-school, tea, bedtime responsibility?). When my dc were young and we were in a similar position we'd sometimes have a picnic tea in the park, or in winter go out in the car with a flask of cocoa and look at the stars. We planned walks to collect conkers, visits to the library, and the occasional trip to the cinema, or a family meal out. If you're not working during the day do you have time to plan these kind of activities, and prep dinner so you can give dc your (more-or-less) undivided attention when they get home?

When dc3 goes to nursery you'll presumably be looking for a part-time school hours job? They are like gold dust and being already in employment is going to be a better starting point - track history of time-keeping and attendance, references, up to date experience.

It sounds like your job give you a lot of positives personally, that sounds very worth it for your mental health. Plus, although your dp finds it tough with 3 dc, imo it's good for dads to have that responsibility. You only have to look at a few threads on here to see how many SAHM end up doing everything - domestic stuff, planning and organising, plus the majority of the weekend activities with the dc. Of course your dp may not fall into this stereotype, only you will know whether he is genuinely an active and equal parent when he's not working or whether you not working would just give him an easy life.

Also I notice that you say 'dp' not dh... personally, if you are not married then there's no way I'd be giving up a job (any job) and the small amount of financial independence that you currently have.