I am at a loss as to how to deal with my DD. She is a talented, clever, capable girl. She excelled at everything she did like sports, drama and school, up until 2 years ago. Then she just stopped. Full stop on all things positive. From that day she hated school, sport, drama, friends, everything (she says nothing happened, i belive her). I put it down to exams, school, friendship worries and so on but she didn't snap back. The usual teenage concerns i thought . Just before she turned 17 I organised sessions with a psychotherapist for her. She says this was a great help but very little has changed. She is so negative about everything. Nobody has it harder at school/friendships/appearances/work/parents than she does.
I was a sahm til she started secondary and still prioritise her (and her siblings) so she and I get plenty of one on one time together. Dinners are always home cooked and I do all the housework and am physically present (and mentally as much as possible) but it is still a litany of complaints from her and i never give her enough time (according to her). Tonight I said but everyone is doing exams, it is hard but its two years of work and we will pay for grinds, whatever you think you need to help. She continued moaning and I said what do you want me to say? You have to do exams, otherwise you leave school and get a job, those are your options. "Forget it", she says "I can never talk to you, so let's not bother". (and turned up the music on her headphones. We were driving back from a sporting event she had wanted to take part in, it meant 6 hours in the car for me between driving and waiting. I do at least one of these a week, if not two and on this occasion, as usual, I had listened to an hour of moaning on the inward journey so my patience was thin)
The thing is, she is a sweet girl mostly and I cannot but remember she had all this focus and capability and positivity two short years ago so what the hell do I do now?! She is constantly too tired to do anything (gym, work, housework, study) so I have made an app with the GP and I am going to ask her to do a blood test to rule out any medical reason she would be so tired. But then what? She feels that I am not being fair in hearing her complaints. I think she needs to suck it up and get on with growing up. Have I raised an entitled child? I feel I possibly have. She moans non stop, has lie ins whenever she can, will not do any cleaning (dishes in dishwasher, i mean, not Cinderella type scrubbing) Her own bathroom is rank as well, but I am afraid to put more pressure on her in case she is more mentally fragile than I realise.
However, if a friend described their entitled princess this way I would be 
and probably think: grow a backbone!
But how do I tackle this/speak to her given my being cross with her makes her cry. And this girl is a stranger compared to the daughter i had for the fifteen years prior to this so I do feel like I am dealing with someone else's child a lot of the time.