I've been ridiculed for having a mental illness

[Powertothepoopy]

An acquaintance has been writing things on social media about me.
I am currently pregnant and suffering with numerous problems. I'm finding it very hard. I don't normally post a lot on social media, and when I do, I generally make it positive. Not in a 'my life is fabulous' kind of way, but just generally cheery. With everyone promoting World mental health day recently, I decided to let down my barriers and actually admit that all the side effects of pregnancy (e.g. baby's health problems, SPD, HG, tokophobia etc) have made me severely depressed.
I've secretly had my suspicions for a while that her statuses are about me, but my DH basically spelled it out to me tonight without prompting. She screen shots my posts and sends them to her group of friends who all mock me. In the last 8 months I have written 4 posts where I have admitted that I'm not enjoying pregnancy because of all the sickness. This last post was the first time I admitted how much it had affected my mental health. Despite this, she is saying awful things.

I know the advice will be to come off social media, but why should I? I know I don't go on there much, but I find it useful normally. Maybe I shouldn't have posted my struggles on there, but many of my friends reached out with support, so I'm glad I was open. I feel better for reaching out.

I want to say something to this person, but don't know what to say. This kind of stigma is really harmful.

If you can't come off social media - and you should because it's a well researched recipe for mental illness itself, as anything negative really rips into you as you're experiencing right now - block the stupid fucker and all her circle of friends. Now.

Can you do an acrostic poem that spells fuck off and the her name?
What a nasty thing to do. Block, block all friends and restrict social media to very few people.

Why don’t you block her from seeing your posts? It won’t stop her being a cunt, but it will stop you from being the focus of her cuntiness.

Send her a turd in the post, a human one.

I will block her. I just feel like it should be addressed though. Why put all these sympathetic virtue signalling posts up for mental health day and then tell someone, 'the world doesn't owe you anything', 'stop moaning', 'you think you're better than anyone else'. I could understand maybe if someone was posting something every other day/looking for sympathy etc. But in 8 months I've posted two basically saying I have bad side effects, 2 funny memes making a joke out of morning sickness and now this one admitting that I can't cope. She said I should just be grateful I'm pregnant. I am, but I can't pretend I'm finding this easy.

@MarmiteOrGoHome oh if I wasn't constipated that would be a fantastic idea

I sympathise OP

I've had MH problems and been slagged off behind my back for it. Social media as a PP said had a really bad effect

But even worse were the close people in my life posting about supporting people suffering with their MH who not only were not supporting me but were actively avoiding me.

Mental health is one of the areas of illness that people lie to themselves about

Another is cancer

Ask someone if they would be there for a close friend with either of those things and you will get a gushing positive response.

The reality is different, people with either condition report losing friends in droves. People literally turning from them in the street like it's catching.

There's research on it I think. No one is as nice as they'd like others to think they are.

@100PercentThatBitch your last line is really making me think now. It is (mostly) all just empty words when people say they sympathise with depression. They don't really because mental illness is an inconvenience.

Should you just keep quiet when you're finding pregnancy hard? In case it offends others who can't get pregnant? I've had a miscarriage myself, so I understand the feelings, but I never resented anyone else for not enjoying their pregnancy. I'd never suggest they should feel grateful that pregnancy has made them mentally ill.
(This girl has kids, so I'm not sure why she's got a problem with me.)

Lots of people struggle to enjoy their pregnancy, and deserve to be sympathised with as much as infertile women who desire children deserve to sympathised with on the permanent sense of loss

No one had a go at Duchess Kate for struggling with HG so badly she couldn't take George to school.

My friend had to leave work early due to SPD no one blamed her for it

Personal experience isn't some contest it's your experience

Some people hate the baby stage, whilst the newborn stage is the ultimate for some

Your "friend" seems to have taken the angle of "Bitch is pregnant and all she can do is moan"

But not every pregnancy is easy, and in some cases can be life threatening

My guess is that her problem is neither you or your pregnancy, and she is using you to deflect from her own pain. It's the bully tactic isn't it? Make someone else the negative and therefore it won't be me.

I'm so sorry OP, what a twat she is
Not sure why pp told you to come off social media when you said it's helpful.
I would advise blocking her and anyone who has agreed with her, can you also avoid/ distance yourself irl? Focus on your real friends who haven't been twats.
You can set your Fb posts so only certain people can see them, and you can change that on every post so innocuous post like happy pic of dinner out, all Fb friends, mental health/ personal post, only those select people you trust - you can make a list of them.
Forget the nasty witch

The good thing is you are finding out who is toxic and who are your real friends. Block the bitch

Don’t try to understand why she’s a twat. She’s just a twat. Block and move on.

How do you know she’s posting about you on a chat group? Can you leave a message on there?

Maybe something like “Though you were a friend of mine, more fool me” or whatever makes you feel a bit better.

You say you find social media useful. I'm sure you can get any info you need on Google and keep up with friends and relatives by phone, whatsapp groups and face to face. You really don't need it OP and I'm quite sure you'll be happier if you come off. Try it for a couple of months at least?

Block her immediately. There's no point in confronting her, it'll only cause you more stress and upset that you don't need at the moment. Just quietly cut her out and all of her friends. Lock down your profile hard. Fuck that bitch!

She is toxic. Normal people don’t go around mocking others for having perfectly normal problems. There was a a breed that stalks frenemies posts purely to take the mickey because they need the validation and oneupmanship that it brings to make them feel better about their own lives. Just restrict access so that they can’t see any of your posts. You are right- you don’t need to change, they do. Don’t post anything sensitive or personal until this blows over. After you restrict them you could post about toxic friends who have to put other people down to make themselves feel better or you could just walk away with your head held high. You have nothing at all to feel bad about.

Toxic, that's a good description.

The other thing I haven't mentioned, is that she's shamed me for being proud of one of my children. For context, DD has a physical disability and ASD. Sometimes I will write a post to say how proud of her I am, what a nice person she is, how unbelievably clever she is (I work in this field so this isn't just mum bias, she really is remarkably intelligent for her age). Again, this isn't often. Last time was September to say how happy I was that we'd got her into a good school, before that it was last year when I was so surprised at her understanding of a difficult concept. It's not bragging as such, it's just that she is behind in so many ways, that I can't help but be proud that there is finally something about her that is advanced. She missed so many milestones and still struggles with very easy things that other kids can do.
This woman tells everyone that again, I think I'm better than others because my child is clever. That by celebrating her I'm somehow putting down other kids. That I think I'm better than everyone else because she goes to a particular school. I don't brag, I'm just proud that she's managed to survive in mainstream!

I don't know how to explain it really, but as a parent of an SEN child, you have to celebrate the little victories, because they are so few and far between.

Should you just keep quiet when you're finding pregnancy hard?

No, but I don't think Facebook is the right place for it either. Not in the context you have explained. Memes or references is fine, but serious conversations about mental health or feelings of struggling should be intimate with friends and family in order to get a reaction that benefits you. Just shouting it out into the abyss with a few random comments isn't going to help.

She sounds like a TOTAL BITCH and I would be unable not to bite tbh. Do you have proof that she's screenshot your posts? Have you seen what she's written about you? If so, I'd post that on fb and tag her in it. Why the hell should she get away with this?

Power your daughter sounds lovely. It’s a hard concept to get your head around, because we want people to be nice, but some people will never like or respect you no matter how well you do, in fact the better you do, the more it infuriates them! You cannot change these people but you can walk away. She is not adding any value to your life. If you are now questioning everything you write because of her then she is actively harming you so the sooner you distance yourself the better. Personally, I like it when people are honest that they are struggling- too much positivity comes across as fake.

Just unfriend her.

Say a big thanks on SM for those that have been so supportive, they know who they are.

There is something not quite right with her.

Well, I've bitten. Wrote a post last night about bullying behaviour and treatment of people with mental health issues. I set it so that only she could see it. Woke up this morning to see a post from her about always being kind because mental health issues are difficult to live with!!

So I've written another post saying how difficult this pregnancy is and how fabulous my children are, that I won't be silenced by bullying. Again, so only she can see it. Childish I know!!! But she's blocked now.

It's actually made me feel stronger. I have a voice and I have the right to share the highs and lows of life if I choose to. Although I'll probably now do my usual and disappear off social media for a month or so. I grow weary of it.

Unfortunately I'll see her at some point over Christmas or New year.

Thanks for all the support.