Do you/should you love your stepchildren as much as your own?

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I'm generally just curious to see other people's opinions or personal experiences with this.

No way do I love my stepson as much as my own son. Actually I wouldn't even say I love him at all but he's such a lovely lad, brings a lot of joy to our lives and is a little superstar with his little brother.

I'm not sure you can love a child that's not yours the same as your own children. It's not the same at all. I don't feel guilty about it, I treat him well and enjoy his company but I don't love him.

I care about them. I love them because I love their DF, but I wouldn't say I love them the same way as my DD.

I love my ss to bits, but I love my daughter in a different and more unconditional way. My ss is 6 and my daughter is 5 months old

I think it probably depends on the circumstances. My DP has been in my eldest DD’s life since she was a baby, her bio dad wasn’t on the scene and she calls DP Daddy, although technically I guess he is her stepdad. I fully believe that DP loves DD1 as much as our other 3 DC and he never treats her any differently. But obviously we are in a situation where he has raised her as his own since she was very young, she lives with us both full time and doesn’t have much of a relationship with her bio dad who she’s only met a handful of times. If for some reason I left my DP and was entering a new relationship in the future I absolutely would not expect my new partner to take on my DC as his own in the way DP did because my DC have a Dad already so that parent-child relationship wouldn’t be appropriate with a new partner.

No, I think that’s an entirely unreasonable expectation.

Yes. But I've known her most of her life, since before dp and I were together. And raised her for over half her life, now 18. She is my child too.

I suppose at first I felt more protective of her than dd because of the circumstances with her mother. Not that I don't feel protective of dd, but she's never needed it in the same way. And over time it levelled out to just equal parental love.

Really she's more like an adopted child than a step child though. If I'm honest if she'd had a lovely capable mum and we just had her half the time it would be a different relationship, and I imagine I'd not feel quite the same level of love as I do.

No I dont, honest but true. Wouldn't see any harm come to her, treat as ours but don't love her. She's part of our family but I don't feel that way about her in the way I do my own, I don't expect my dh to love my dds either

Hell no. Don't even like one of mine, bain of my life but only met them all as late teens /young twenties.

I'm sure some step-parents do, but I don't think it's a reasonable expectation and I wouldn't think less of a step-parent who didn't. It's a different relationship.

I don’t think it’s a reasonable expectation, or one that most step parents would feel they should be living up to.

My stepson was 10 when our daughter was born . I loved the way he wholeheartedly showed his love for her from Day 1.
He often said he didn’t like me as I’d stop him eating three bags of crisps at one go - that sort of thing ...... and I’d reply that I don’t like you much either but in this house our rules ......
Over the years we’ve bailed him out when needed just as we have done the same for our daughter.
I can’t honestly say I love him like I love our daughter but I’m instrumental in treating them exactly the same financially . I can see how his parents divorcing affected him adversely ( long before I met his Dad) and have always made allowances and stood up for him when I’ve felt he’s being treated unfairly . If any of this sounds like love it probably is .