Fear of driving on motorways

[chillandrelax]

I have been driving for 22/23 years and have a huge fear of driving on motorways. It hasn't really stopped me doing anything as I will happily take the scenic route, catch a train, or someone else will drive. DH isn't a great passenger, so is always happy to drive.

However, I am starting to get frustrated with myself. Would love to take my children to the beach on a sunny day but that would mean driving on a motorway.

Does anyone have any advice?

Has anyone ever got over their fear?

My biggest concern is joining the motorway any crashing.

Thank you

This is also me have been driving for over 20 years but really do not feel comfortable driving on a motorway had a couple of hellish journeys because of my fear 😕I feel guilty for my kids because I can't take them places I don't feel comfortable driving too, but my daughter is 17 next year and will hopefully feel confident driving

Thank you. So much great advice.

I do drive on the A3 but not often. Won't drive towards London but will go to Guildford. But always stressed and I have to talk to myself 😂

Do some lessons on motorway driving. Take short hops on and off motorways to ease yourself in. Motorways are actually easier than the scenic route. Big junctions aren't a big issue especially if you use a good sat nav. Remember on motorways always concentrate on what's ahead. Left and right wing mirrors are only important when changing lanes and what's behind you is of little interest! And if you get confused at a major junction and go wrong, it's easy to get off the next junction and get back on to exit properly. Personally I've always found junctions so well signposted and so much warning given there's no problem getting off or changing. The good thing is they are so straight

I use them several time a week and tiny suburban roads give me the sweaty palms

I have to talk to myself too. I find swearing helps.

I can’t even practice, I live on the Suffolk coast, our nearest motorway is a good hour and a half away.

I'm fine actually driving on motorways, okish at getting on them but OMG the A3 is a frigging nightmare. Most of the slip roads are too short or bendy/uphill so you don't get a decent view of traffic already on it and at Hindhead if you run out of slip road you drive into the solid wall of the tunnel! If you can cope with the A3 I reckon you'd be fine on an average motorway.

M25 is not too bad. For one thing depending when you're travelling it's usually pretty slow! 🤣

Also M25 usually has 2 joining lanes. If you stay in the left lane it's usually it's own lane so you don't actually have to merge.

Don't give up. Could you try driving on it late at night when it's quieter? Also I use google maps but sometimes it helps if I look over the route first. So I remember the junction numbers of where I'm getting off and then what lane I need to be in if I'm going right or left.

I'm the same, I had to drive to near London, I live in the north, for a course for work. Put no motorways in sat nav, it took forever! End of the week and I set off and thought sod it I'm off on the motorway. Halfway home and an out of control van hits me (rush hour, M1, on a Friday). Long and short of the story is I thought I was a bad / nervous driver but when it counted I kept my wits, he pushed me into the path of a juggernaut, I pulled back, slewed across all the lanes and never hit anything else, ended up on a grass verge unhurt. Do what I did get a driving instructor to take you out, do an advanced driving course, then practice by yourself, on and off slip roads, changing lanes. When youre ready do it, put your destination in a sat nav and stay in the inside lane, steady away. I'm still nervous, I'm nervous on duel carriageways but I wint give in

It really worries me that you've been driving for 22/23 years and yet you're worried about this? It makes me wonder if you're a really poor driver, such that you're a danger to other drivers.

Please, please go and have some lessons - I'm sure you're actually a very competent driver, and this is all in your head. But you need to know the difference strategies for accessing/entering different kinds of roads. Not only for your own benefit, but for the safety of other drivers.

I was like this. Refused to go on motorways for ten years, then got a job that meant I had to use them daily. My fear was joining them so I found a junction where the slip road joined the motorway by becoming an extra lane IYKWIM. Meant I didn’t have to worry about merging. Over time I got more confident switching lanes. Now I’m far happier on the motorway than on the quieter A and B roads.

I'm a good driver thanks BIWI. In 20 years of driving never caused an accident, avoided a couple of near misses by reacting to other drivers and don't have a single point on my license. Drive a pick up I can park and reverse and am sensible and courteous to other drivers.

It's not my driving that stops me going on motorways. It's other peoples driving. I am anxious about entering motorways because not everyone will move over. And anxious about changing lanes as it's impossible to always predict what someone else is going to do.

I love driving on motorways. Single lane country lanes though... yikes.

Oh my god, I talk to myself too! 😂 I have imaginary arguments or sharing gossip, oh my god can't believe I have admitted that!

I used to drive on motorways all the time, sometimes hundreds of miles on my own. And then in my mid twenties I had a few panic attacks whilst on the motorway, felt like I was going to pass out at the wheel and it absolutely scared the shit out of me. I carried on local motorways and dual carriageways for a bit, but gradually I totally let the fear take over me. Then I had some health problems which caused me big anxiety and I basically could barely even go on a dual carriageway and resigned myself to definitely never driving on a motorway again. Part of the problem is that I live quite close to a motorway so I constantly avoiding the motorway if that makes sense? And for me, the fear comes from not being able to stop anywhere if I do feel like I am going to pass out, which makes it even worse. Its totally all in my head, I'm a good driver and when I'm not thinking about The Fear, Im quite confident.

Anyway, last year I got a job where I had to go on the motorway for a few junctions unless I wanted to sit in a shit load of traffic every day. At first I sat in the traffic but I was getting more and more pissed off, so I tried a junction, then two, then three.

I still do get occasionally panicky, but I recognise it better now and I don't let it consume me, just let it pass. My main strategy as I said is talking to myself. I have a particular conversation that I break out if I really feel the panic rising! But also the radio etc anything that is a distraction from the fact I'm going at 70 on a road that I can't get off from until the next junction!

I'm still not confident to drive around carefree anywhere I want, but I am doing things now that a couple of years ago I thought I might never do again, and the thought of driving on the M25, whilst still a way off, isn't totally out of the question now. Like you, I want to be able to drive my kids anywhere we want to go.

Sorry that was long and probably not all that helpful, but quite cathartic for me!

@Frouby being alert to other drivers is always a good thing! Which makes you a better driver. You're more aware of other drivers, so take more care.

There was nothing in my post to suggest that you weren't a good driver!

I mean this in the kindest way but PP who can’t cope with motorway signage, junctions, slip roads or lorries really need some additional driving lessons. You do not sound competent or safe.

Drivers ‘bullying’ their way in from the slip road are rightly accelerating to match the speed if the existing traffic - just carry in at a constant speed and they will merge.
Lorries do not ‘bully’ you in the motorway and baby are speed restricted to 60-65 mph - if you cannot cope with this speeds on a modern motorway and are regularly being overtaken by lorries you need additional driving lessons to be able to drive to the road conditions.

These issues are also indicative of wider problems. If you have no abilities on motorways, how are your general skills in overtaking, hazard awareness, traffic merging, junction navigation, selecting appropriate speeds, or reactions to hazardous conditions? The fact that you cannot handle basic driving competencies would make me question whether you should be driving at all.

I prefer motorways to country lanes, a decent sat nav will tell you which lane to be in

Great post @Veterinari

And so true.

It took me ages to build up confidence to drive on a motorway, I eventually started by getting on at one junction & getting off at the next junction, driving around the roundabout & back on in the opposite direction. The motorway is only a bigger dual carriageway, as long as you signal in good time, use your mirrors & observations you will be fine. Since I started, I have driven from one end of the country to the other using motorways & they no longer hold any fear to me.

The M3 & M25 aren’t too bad, personally I’d rather drive on them all day than in & around sodding Guildford. If you’re happy to drive around the Guildford area you’ll be fine on the motorway! Go for a few runs on a Sunday. M3 to M25 is easy! just decide whether you want to go towards Gatwick or Heathrow before you set off and you’ll glide seemlessly onto the M25 (just watch out for people in front of you dithering then changing their minds!!)

If you’re still too scared to try, take a couple of motorway lessons (book those specifically) it’ll be worth the money.

I actually think my concerns are also the big junctions and getting lost.

I'm assuming that you aren't using a satnav (I don't use one - I have a map book).

Go on to Google Maps and 'drive' the route on there, including negotiating motorway junctions. I always do this to familiarise myself with an unfamiliar route.

I agree with those who have said get some lessons. And also with those who said build it up gradually. I used to be terrified of driving on the motorway, but for one reason or another I HAD to do it regularly. Now, I'm not bothered by it at all - though it was gradual, as I can't pinpoint any specific occasion where it changed. So practice does help, a lot.

I utterly hated motorways (and still don’t really like them but have improved) and relied on my boyfriend/parents/friends for lifts or took 10x longer to get everywhere through public transport. I had 5 hours of motorway lessons through August /September to really grasp the technique and to get my confidence up. Honestly I feel like a different person :)

Ive actually got to the point where i close my eyes as a passsenger on a lot of dual carriage ways and motorways at busy times now. So have been avoiding driving on them too. I appreciate the idea this must make me a terrible driver but i seem as competent as anyone else on my travels around town. I think motorway lessons are a good idea.