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Original poster

Boys that dance

26 replies

zzzzzzzx · 20/10/2019 08:02

DS8 goes to our local dance school and does every dance class he can; ballet, Tap, Modern, jazz etc. He also dances in dance festivals. He is the only boy in his dance school who does all the classes. There are a couple who just do Tap. Are there many dancing boys out there? Does your boy mind being in the minority? What's it like when they hit secondary school age? Have they ever had problems at school from other children knowing they dance?

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VenusClapTrap · 20/10/2019 08:23

My ds (7yo) does ballet twice a week, once at the little village ballet school and on a weekend at a boys only ballet school some distance away.

He was the only boy at the village one for years, which didn’t bother him because he loved the attention he got for it - always positioned in the centre at ballet shows, a unique costume, a big cheer from the audience just for having a bloody penis.

Then about a year ago, some of the younger brothers hanging around outside ballet lessons waiting for their sisters started to giggle and make comments about ‘boys don’t do ballet’ etc. I tore a strip off them, and he ignored it, but after a while he started to say he wasn’t sure he wanted to do ballet any more.

So that was when I did some searching and found the boys ballet school. He is taught by a male teacher and is absolutely brilliant. It’s given him a huge confidence boost. He still goes to the village club but now he positively struts in there, strips off to his leotard and starts ostentatiously doing his stretches and planks in the waiting area. The little brothers there are agog, and several of them have now started joining lessons as a direct result! I’m pretty proud of him for turning that around.

VenusClapTrap · 20/10/2019 08:28

I meant to add - no problems at school at all. Most of his friends know he does ballet and it’s just not an issue.

KnittingSister · 20/10/2019 08:38

There was a lad who danced at my school, in my friendship group. He was a bit odd, but not because of the dance. We didn't think anything of it, he danced, I played an instrument, another friend did martial arts etc. It was just his thing. If he doesn't see it as a problem, neither will anyone else.

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KnittingSister · 20/10/2019 08:39

Does he watch strictly? Great role models there.

ShippingNews · 20/10/2019 08:41

My niece runs a dance school - she said that while she has many little boys taking an interest in classes, they do tend to drop out at around 10. Peer pressure is the culprit - there is always some kid who'll drop a few choice comments to a young male ballet dancer . Next thing, they drop out. It's a great pity.

Original poster
zzzzzzzx · 20/10/2019 08:46

Venus it was your comment about taking your son to ballet on another thread that made me post this! My DS is similar. He likes the attention being the only boy gives him. He has just been bought some new leotards and loves them - previously his uniform was just a dance school tshirt and shorts and although he had a leotard from him exam, it never crossed his mind to wear them. Now he goes proudly wearing his leotard. He did a boys ballet event in April in London but there is nothing close enough to us weekly. He seems to be best at tap though. I was wondering how things might go over the years. His friends know he dances and they have never commented on it but secondary school is a different issue, so I was wondering how that has gone for others with older kids too.

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CmdrCressidaDuck · 20/10/2019 08:49

I used to work right by the Royal Ballet in Covent Garden and the teen dancers were everywhere. There were not as many teen male danseurs as teen ballerinas, but they were basically gods of cool, all very lean and muscular with about three girls on each arm.

Perhaps you can give him a view of the long game. Do a field trip to the Royal Ballet and show him the Bridge of Aspiration from the school across to the theatre? Take him to a performance of some slightly older students at a ballet school? Introduce him to some of the great male dancers (Nureyev, Baryshnikov), show him some video, talk about their amazing strength and skill.

Original poster
zzzzzzzx · 20/10/2019 08:59

To be honest I’m hoping that dance isn’t a career he wants. He isn’t especially gifted or flexible but loves all his dance classes. He is very good at tap but has to work harder at ballet. I really hope that he keeps his interest as a hobby through secondary school. He sees musicals with male dancers so he doesn’t see it as a girly thing and is a bit bemused why more boys don’t dance. He does see other boys at dance festivals but they are always the only ones in the dance school too. There is a 17 year old male in his dance school who is a brilliant tapper and is very cool and he is a great role model.

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MadamNoo · 20/10/2019 09:08

Different I know, but my son does street dance and I love that it’s one of the few activities that boys and girls do together on an equal footing right up through their teens. Several hours a week, great fitness and there has never been any suggestion it is for either girls or boys.

CmdrCressidaDuck · 20/10/2019 09:11

Well, he's fairly unlikely to choose it as a career anyway, but it's always good to see how much strength, skill, agility and prestige belongs to the top male dancers to help counter the prejudice.

A Proper Little Nooryeff, about a teen male dancer from a working-class community, might be a good read if he struggles with it when he's a bit older.

Gizlotsmum · 20/10/2019 09:20

My son (7) does tap, ballet and freestyle. There are 3 boys in his ballet class and several throughout the school. He thinks it is great and enjoys telling people he dances

Original poster
zzzzzzzx · 20/10/2019 09:24

Thanks CressidaDuck, I’ve just ordered that book to have a look at. Could only find second hand and only cost a few pound so worth looking at even if it is too old for him at the moment.

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Original poster
zzzzzzzx · 20/10/2019 09:25

Hi Gizlotsmum, what’s freestyle?

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VenusClapTrap · 20/10/2019 09:33

Billy Elliot is a great film to show boys. Shame it’s got so much swearing though 😳

Gizlotsmum · 20/10/2019 09:40

It's a mix of street and pop video style. He's in a show just before Christmas and they are doing I'm a believer from Shrek... I'm not meant to know but I think he is donkey ;) another advantage of being the only boy..

Rialotu · 20/10/2019 09:44

We are London, which is an advantage. We’ve also done boys only events.

My son is heavily into ballet and travels to the RAD in Battersea. A lot has come his way in bursaries to help with this.

As he gets older he’s loving what dance is doing to his body, the lean muscle, six pack and he can flex out his arm and back muscles to show off. It’s become a cool factor he didn’t have when younger. He was sensitive up to 8ish, but then reached a point where people started to respect it more, the skill and what he could do and how he looks. He now is very open telling everyone. The skills transfer very well, for example in football his balance and strength is an advance that coaches notice. He has excellent core muscles. He entered a local athletics event recently and actually won the long jump with no training even.

I think it’s just a case of being loud and proud and noting how it contributes to other skills.

(Btw I’d also rather he didn’t have a career in dance but I keep my mouth shut and support him)

strongswans · 20/10/2019 09:58

Mum of a teenage boy dancer here. DS (14) has been dancing since he was 9 with no signs of stopping, he does ballroom, latin and sequence, and competes with his partner. DS wants to teach dance as his career and has already set up his own after school club. There are so many more girls to boys in dance, its a shame as it can give so much to the children. DS suffers with severe anxiety, and it really helps reduce it for him. Even at competitions he gets anxious but he focuses on what he's doing and gets through.
I agree with a lot of what @Rialotu said. The body strength is something to be very proud of, and the skill transfer to other activities is great, DS is fastest sprinter and long distance runner in his school, and his sports teacher is constantly stopping me to tell me how amazed he is. Its done DS so much good mentally, he also has learning difficulties, and was made to feel stupid in previous schools, so gaining the achievements in sports and his dance exams/competitions has really given him confidence.

Original poster
zzzzzzzx · 20/10/2019 10:00

Yes, London is a definite advantage. We are in Wiltshire. I would definitely support him if that is what he wanted. I’m assuming that at best he will continue dance as an extra curricular at uni, but who knows?!

I would love Billy Elliott not to have the swearing. DS has two older sisters and I’ve had to hold off letting them see the musical for this reason. I think I let them see it when in secondary school and surrounded by swearing anyway!

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Original poster
zzzzzzzx · 20/10/2019 10:04

That’s brilliant swansongs. I see my DS increasing in confidence so hopefully will stay the test of time! I don’t think he is a target for a bully as he is quite proud but who really knows why anyone is bullied?

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CherryCheezcake · 20/10/2019 10:06

Btw, regarding the pupils at the Royal Ballet School, they have the same numbers of girls and boys, give or take one or two. (Picture is of the whole school at their end of year performance, this one taken a few years ago but the balance is the same now)

Boys that dance
Original poster
zzzzzzzx · 20/10/2019 10:07

Gizlotsmum - that sounds good. Yes, my DS always gets picked for parts that the girls would have to fight for. The dance teachers love him and are always telling him how amazing he is, and I’m sure that’s just because he stands out more than the girls!

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VenusClapTrap · 20/10/2019 10:09

Op if you are at the southern part of Wiltshire, there’s a dance school in Bournemouth called First Point that does boys classes.

VenusClapTrap · 20/10/2019 10:10

Sorry, First Position not First Point

Oliversmumsarmy · 20/10/2019 10:12

We are London, Ds used to do dance, he was definitely not the only boy in the class, there were quite a few.

Dd did dance and knows a lot of boys who have gone into dance as a career but whenever I have seen these boys in classes when they were younger they stood out even then as being outstanding dancers.

Dance leads into a lot of other careers. Some of these boys are doing West End shows (mainish roles) some are teaching between film and tv work.

Sussexbonfireviking · 20/10/2019 10:13

My son(14) does Flamenco, and has done for a few (4?) years now, with exams etc

I dont think that anyone takes the micky about it, and it helps with his stance in non dance life. There is a younger child there, who has started a martial arts as well and his instructor says it helps as well