Child not being invited to parties?

[Year1mumma]

Just wondered if anyone could give any advice as I feel a bit down.

My DD is in year 1 at school and has always been a happy playful child, always seems to have friends and the teacher says she’s never alone and always playing with friends, no issues at all with friendships and DD is apparently popular amongst her peers.

Yet so far this year there have been 4 parties that I know of (2 whole class church hall types and 2 with a dozen or so kids from her friendship group) and she’s not been invited to any of them. She’s starting to notice and my heart is breaking for her.

I don’t really speak to any parents, I work full time so don’t do the school run usually but the odd time when I’ve made it, nobody’s even so much as said hi, I think the mums are quite ‘clicky’ so I’m not sure if it’s something I’m doing? Or why?

Is it likely that there is something going on? I know I probably just need to get a thick skin and butt out but she’s really upset and saying about all of her friends going to parties that she’s not invited too. Has anyone experienced this?

You could have a Christmas party in December and put on the invitation that you're doing it instead of a birthday party as Dds birthday is in the summer holidays so she missed having a party. Might be fun to plan and get her on the radar.

In our school a lot of invitations, particularly for whole class parties, go on the Whatsapp group for the class.

Your post reads like you don't know any of the parents at all. Did your DD not go to any parties in Reception either, or any other events like Christmas fair/summer fete, where you might have met some other parents?

How do you know these were whole class parties that she missed? If your DD said this do you think she could have been mistaken?

Honestly given that she sounds sociable and pleasant it seems unlikely that she would have deliberately been left off two invitation lists.

"But surely it should be about the friendships of the child not the adults?"

No, it really isn't. Which really surprised me. I didn't realise that I would play such a large part of if he has friends outside of school hours. It sucks.