Any tips? I hate flying.

[SarahAndQuack]

I've flown a handful of times in my life. I don't remember it being an issue really, though I had to do a connecting internal flight in the US on a very tiny plane (the kind that stays close to the ground), and I bloody hated that. For years I didn't have a passport and didn't fly, but now my job requires me to fly a short hop (50 mins) each week, and I am hating it. I thought I would get more used to it, but I don't. I'm not sure if it's connected to the fact I've had my DD in the meantime - I keep thinking of her losing me and worrying irrationally (which is absurd as I know getting in a car is probably more dangerous).

Does anyone have advice for what helped you? Obviously since it is work I can hardly down a few gins! I'm thinking more - where is best to sit; are there things you do to keep calm; how do you not panic about turbulence. And will the turbulence get worse as we go into winter?

I know I sound absurdly nervous, but it is really getting to me.

I don’t think turbulence is always related to the weather - the worst I’ve ever experience was flying back from Spain going over the mountains and it was a lovely clear sunny day.

It sounds silly but I always count backwards from 10 whenever turbulence starts. Most of the time it is over by the time I get to 1 and I know that it likely will be.

I also recommend a book called fly without fear where a pilot explains all the weird noises and movements planes make and why they aren’t dangerous!

If i get nervous, I tend to watch the cabin crew. If they're going about their usual business not looking worried then I know there's nothing to worry about.

They experience it every day, they know what's normal. Turbulence is fine, totally normal.

Noise cancelling (specifically) headphones. playing mediation or sleep music sometimes

Sit over the wing or as close as possible. I like to have the window seat, if there's turbulence I look out and check that everything is still attached to the plane!

With the absence of being able to take valium or booze, download the SOAR app and get some hypnosis loops on Spotify.

You really do not need to worry about turbulence. If the aircraft is experiencing turbulence the pilots already know about it and if they choose to fly through, along with the dozen planes before and after them, then it's fine.

If it's particularly bad, pilots will navigate around it, again so will those dozens of planes ahead and behind you. You are not up there alone!

Modem aircraft are built to withstand even extremes turbulence, they like it

And yes, as a PP said, watching the cabin crew is great. Turbulence is nothing to them!

I feel for you
Just after buying a villa in Florida my anxiety over flying went through the roof
I had hypnotherapy which helped a lot
EFT is also good
Last March in that awful snowstorm we left Newcastle airport in a blizzard as we flew through the cloud the plane got hit by lightning and I remember screaming
I noticed that the plane didn’t drop like a stone and when he was able the pilot spoke to us and told us what had happened and that everything was fine
Half an hour later, he told us we had to turn back to Gatwick to change planes as they wanted to check it over and couldn’t do that in Tenerife 😱
I was immediately terrified as I was worried about landing in snow and ice
It was a frosty day down there but blue skies no snow
Three hours later we were on our way
This is our fourth time back here since then and I’m fine now

I had two big fears about flying: take off and turbulence. I went on the virgin fear of flying course and I now don’t have the fear during take off. I’m still terrified of turbulence though.

Diazepam really is a fear remover for me, up to the point I had to stop myself doing really stupid stuff when I was briefly prescribed it. I think the doctor will give you one or two for a flight

I bloody hate it as well. I have always just forced myself to do it.

We had an internal flight from hell from JFK to Nashville in August it was like small safari plane and we had to land in a storm.

I think I will need Diazepam next time.

Like pps have said, turbulence is nothing to worry about generally. Most pilots expect it on most flights - it can be anticipated and a flight path adjusted. If it’s not anticipated, pilots will be experienced enough to deal with it. I know it can feel very scary but flight crew are experienced and prepared, planes are robust, radar systems are accurate etc. Sit towards the front if possible.

I hate flying too. Take off makes me feel sick, turbulence scares me and the ear daggers on landing are horrible, one flight I partially lost my hearing for a couple of days. I've since read the blow your nose while holding your nostrils shut trick but I'm never going to like it. I think near the wing seems best. Definitely not the back. Headphones and distraction.

I'm a former scared flyer who now flies regularly.

Distract yourself during the moments you don't like. Watching TV shows during take-off helped me. During turbulence, I'd play a game on my phone.

Practice mindfulness and meditation when you aren't flying and put those into practice when you do- starting when you're still on the ground waiting for the plane.

Mentally stop yourself from thinking "I hate flying" or similar. Find a mantra that you can repeat in your head instead e.g "Flying just gets me from A to B" or "Flying is the safest mode of transport".

Try and connect the flights to something pleasurable. e.g. I use it as a time to catch up on a favourite podcast that I struggle to fit in at other times. Or it's my audiobook or magazine time.