So angry my ex lied to take our son to a protest

[Neverbeensoangry]

My ex lied to our teenage son (15). Suggested to go to West End shopping but dragged him to the protests about issues he doesn't particularly care about. I know protests can go wrong. Our son is too nice to walk away.
He regularly lies to get his way. When they've been younger they got trapped in a place/situation they didn't want to be in. Now 12 years old makes sure her phone is charged before going somewhere with her father so she can find her way home from an unfamiliar location.
And protests can go wrong!

I’m all for peaceful protests but I don’t think I’d take young DC because as you say OP things do go wrong. I’d be upset too.

Was he upset?

If not, how do you know ex lied? Maybe it was just there and they joined in. Sounds like you don’t like him and are looking for reasons to not like him?

But if your son was upset, that’s different.

Protests don’t go wrong very often, to be honest. I have taken my children to climate marches etc.

West end shopping can "go wrong" too. Protests are not generally dangerous. He's 15, not 5.

What are the issues your son doesn't care about? Maybe he should care?

This sounds like your ex's business to me, not yours. His parenting time, his decision.

I take my kids (9 and 7) to protests on a regular basis, and have been for about three years. They don't really go wrong, people look out for children anyway, and they learn about the concept of making oneself heard (well, theoretically.) And it opens up really interesting conversations for us.

Obvs not great that your ex lied, but maybe today's protest was something he really cared about and he wanted to share it with your son, and withheld the information because he knew you'd say no. He is your son's parent, too

15 not 5, stop being so precious, are you encouraging this distrust in their Dad?

I think it’s the fact he lied to the ds which is the issue. Maybe if he’d said to the DS “want to go to a,protest” and he’d said yes the OP would feel differently.

He was more like annoyed. They are used to it.
We live near where were Totenham Riots. They aren't called Velvet Riots.
I do have a thing against big crowds that could act unpredictably or where police could act unpredictably.

The people's vote march today? It was about as middle aged and middle class as you could get.

lying to his own son to con him going somewhere he wouldn't want to is a shit thing to do.

id focus on that.

tell him itsnot fair, explain to dc itsnot fair, get them to double-check every time theyre going somewhere... id be annoyed too op.

It’s doesn’t matter; yes of course the People’s Vote protests/Extinction Rebellion/Referendum protests are the naice middle class ones.

But one thing that used to set my anxiety racing were large groups of protestors and I used to work in Whitehall where it honestly was daily mainly because large groups are a terrorist’s paradise and you’d be amazed how poorly policed/made secure such huge gatherings can be.

No matter how much I agreed with the protest you would never find me taking my children along before they had the agency to make that decision for themselves.

Add in the fact the OP had the Tottenham Riots on her doorstep - a time where the whole of N London seemed to be up in arms - I don’t blame you for being angry at all.

yeah, i was at the march today and i asked the dc if they wanted to come- they didnt.
theres no way i would trick them into coming with me- because im not an asshole. (in this case)