How do you get over broodiness?

[itsanamechangeone]

I spent ages writing this post but it disappeared!! My apologies if it's duplicated somewhere!

So for my sanity I am going to briefly describe what was a much longer waffley thread. DH and I 32 with 2 children 9 and 7, same sex. Had children young, spent the last 10 years "catching up" to get to good careers for us both and the forever home, recently got there, so causing me to reflect. Happy marriage and family life.

I would like a third for several reasons, but to be frank wanting to experience raising both sexes is one of them, I know lots of people won't agree with that but I am just being honest, and no I obviously can't guarantee what sex we'd have so for that reason it couldn't and wouldn't be for that reason alone.

I have a huge pros and cons list, goes through my mind hourly, but I know if I were to read it out to you most of you would say stick at 2, it's all moot anyway because DH doesn't want a third (though I could persuade him I'm sure, but I wouldn't as it wouldn't be fair, I don't resent him for this as I agree with his reasons!) and I don't believe it is in my children's best interests anyway.

So basically I need to get over it, a third child is not in my family's best interests, but how do you get your head to tell your heart to shut up? How do you rationalise what I imagine is just a hormonal urge? Ive been to counselling, 6 talking therapy sessions, didn't help at all tbh and I'm usually a big advocate of counselling.

We got a fur baby instead of a human

Spend time around toddlers! Seriously. I am in a similar position to you and the thing that most puts me off having more is being around friends' 1 and 2 year olds. I do NOT want to go back there, life is so much easier now.

@AutumnLover19 I have considered that but the commitment of an animal scares me more than a child ha! (They don't move out and my mum won't babysit it ha-yeah I did say we really shouldn't have another child ha!)

@SubmersibleSandwich you're right, and I wouldn't class myself a natural mother. I think I am kidding myself as I am loving this age, family life is so fun right now, I hated baby/toddler age. I don't have to be around young children ever so I think I'm sheltered and not remembering it!!

It’s really hard, isn’t it?
I agree with every reason dh gives not to have a third (and his right to veto) but that doesn’t stop me longing for one or feeling that longing like a physical ache.
I’ve even had a pregnancy scare and known with utter clarity that it wasn’t a good idea, then got my period with huge relief only to have the baby lust kick right back in a few days later. Stupid hormones.
I’ve asked dh to get the snip in the hopes that the finality will help straighten my head out

@Barbarara totally understand, I got pregnant on the coil this year (chemical) so that will have exasperated things I'm sure. We've avoided the snip as I worried the finality of it would make me panic, making me long for it more because I can't have it if that makes sense, but I think you're right, I wonder if we do something final like the snip and take it off the table if that'll shut my head up!

I just keep relishing my freedom! Two teens and one 8 year old and sometimes curse myself for having the third.
Not that I resent him but I suppose he’s my padlock to much more freedom
I was back and forth about just one more for a while and knew for so many reasons it wasn’t a good idea for us to have another.
For me it was about putting my head before my heart.