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Original poster

How is your handshake?

47 replies

Horehound · 18/10/2019 21:24

Just watching Gogglebox and there were the reactions to a news piece about a handshake lasting more than 3 seconds can induce anxiety...
Anyhoo, I've always noticed women's handshakes are generally weak and a bit pathetic compared to shaking men's hands. And I have a lot of male friends and this has been discussed about how crap women's handshakes are. No one teaches you how to shake a hand. Me and husband just spoke about it and acted out some handshakes. He said he hates it when people put their thumb on the back of his hand and that it should be at the top parallel with the floor. I think I do put my hand on the back of the hand so I'll change that but I'm aware they should be strong and made with arm strength not just string fingers iykwim?

Also, anyone felt a freemasons handshake? With the middle finger bent in to press against your palm and then they use their other hand to cover up the fact one finger is bent inwards?

Just some Friday night musings...I'll get the wineWine

OP posts:
EleanorReally · 18/10/2019 21:25

i hate a limp handshake, i find it rude

EleanorReally · 18/10/2019 21:26

perhaps i am not ladylike though

Original poster
Horehound · 18/10/2019 21:33

No it's not unladylike..it's how it should be!

OP posts:
JesusInTheCabbageVan · 18/10/2019 21:36

I panic and do a death grip. Then let go reflexively. Then panic because they're still holding on. Then do another final death grip and awkward grimace.

MrsJoshNavidi · 18/10/2019 21:38

Firm.

I hate men who turn my hand so theirs is on top of the handshake - it's a sign of dominance.

FurrySlipperBoots · 18/10/2019 21:42

My handshake is crap, but it's the opposite of limp - too rigid or something. It's hard to say what's wrong with it but I know it's no good!

I wish there were clear rules about who you're meant to shake hands with and when. I work in childcare in a rural part of Cornwall where interactions with the locals are very casual and we usually treat each other as if we already know each other most of the time. I do a lot of babysitting for wealthy Londoners though who seem very used to shaking hands with everyone, so I'm often greeted this way. It does seem slightly too formal when it's a one off booking where I'll just be sitting in their hotel room for a couple of hours with the kids asleep!

In the other extreme I got strange looks followed by awkward, limp handshakes when I held out my hand to a family I was going to be living in with, holiday nannying for 2 weeks! Why can't we have set-in-stone rules about how to greet others? It would be so much simpler!

Defeatthedebt · 18/10/2019 21:46

I think I have a good handshake. Firm, not too firm and quite brief. I don't like a lingering handshake.

TARSCOUT · 18/10/2019 21:46

I detest limp handshakes, especially from women, so insipid and seems so lacking in confidence. Don't mind men with death grips tbh, my brain is more than a match for their handshake!

Bezalelle · 18/10/2019 22:19

They call me "Knuckle-crusher".

OverthinkingThis · 18/10/2019 22:26

I think mine's a bit too firm to be ladylike. Always maintain eye contact throughout which I read somewhere makes a good impression, but in reality just freaks people out.

Iggly · 18/10/2019 22:29

They call me "Knuckle-crusher

😂

I’m quite firm about hand shakes. Quick firm grip.

I don’t like people who go too firm. Nor do I like the soft ones.

Let’s just ditch handshakes.

Original poster
Horehound · 18/10/2019 22:42

I hate men who turn my hand so theirs is on top of the handshake - it's a sign of dominance.

Oh interesting!

I had a boss who, when he shook my hand, almost crushed it. But I didn't want to show him he hurt me so I kept a straight face even though I knew he did it on purpose. I said to my colleague and she said the same. What an arse.

OP posts:
Original poster
Horehound · 18/10/2019 22:43

They call me "Knuckle-crusher".

Is that you, ex boss?! Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
Horehound · 18/10/2019 22:44

@OverthinkingThis oh yes, eye contact is a must!

OP posts:
Moominfan · 18/10/2019 22:46

It's a no from me I find them intrusive 🤷🏾‍♀️

totallyradllama · 18/10/2019 22:50

Argh I hate shaking hands and try to avoid it at all costs. If I get trapped into one I offer one so pathetic I hope it puts them off ever trying again. No thanks people can keep their colds etc why would I want to touch the clammy palm of a stranger?

smilethoyourheartisbreaking · 18/10/2019 22:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BigGlasses · 18/10/2019 22:57

Does anyone think they have a limp handshake though? I think mine is quite firm, decent hand grip with a resistance to the arm too. But who knows. DH seems to do a sort ofwhiplash arm thing, like really shaking the person like you would crack a whip. He thinks this is what people mean by a strong handshake but I think it’s weird

puppymouse · 18/10/2019 22:59

Mine is firm and friendly. Not bone crunching I hope. Nothing worse than a "sock in a cup" handshake.

Thetruth02 · 18/10/2019 23:00

I’m never very good at speaking up for myself but one of my proudest moments was when a man really did try to crush my hand (there had been difficult negotiations beforehand) and I did say loudly “ouch - did you mean to hurt”.

Original poster
Horehound · 19/10/2019 00:05

@Moominfan how can you just say no? If you went to an interview and the interviewer tried to shake your hand what would you do?

@ BigGlasses
Does anyone think they have a limp handshake though?
I did and made a conscious effort to change it.

And yy to the armshake..it's called handshake for a resaon!

@thetruth02 good for you. What did he say?!

I agree about the cleanliness thing though. I think we all know some men are not so great at the handwashing and also yes if it's flu season or whatever..but I always carry antibac gel so will promptly use that

OP posts:
theoriginalmadambee · 19/10/2019 01:11

I much prefer a handshake (firm) to a hug. Why all the hugging and kissing strangers? Yy to anti Bac gel Smile.

Must admit I give a very firm handshake on purpose Wink.

ActualHornist · 19/10/2019 02:44

Mine is firm and at least 15 minutes long. Keeping eye contact the entire time, and the other hand on the shoulder of the person I’m greeting.

Not all of the above may be true Grin

I can’t bear a weak handshake. Actually gives me the heeby jeebies.

EBearhug · 19/10/2019 03:35

I have quite a strong handshake - people have commented on it. I prefer one that's verging on too strong rather than too weak. I am quite happy if someone doesn't want to shake hands, and I'd rather that than the clammy weak handshake I had from a male colleague last week. I had to stop myself wiping my hand on my jacket as I walked away.

I work in a male-dominated workplace and I don't know if some men "make allowances" for me being female, but there do seem to be quite a few with pathetically weak handshakes. It does surprise me when otherwise their demeanour is quite strong and confident, because I expect a strong, confident handshake with it. I know I shouldn't, but I do judge them for it.

Enko · 19/10/2019 08:34

It says a lot about the interaction you are having to me. I have a good handshake (at least according to others I have had this convo with) but I can and have in the past deliberately done a limp handshake if I was not ok with the person I was introduced to. Or just given 3 fingers to shake.

My uncle used to crush your hand and was forever going on about how you should shake your hands properly. His wife had the weakest longest handshake ever Smile this went on until I was in my 20th and said to him once that he had a awful handshake as he crushed instead of shake and it was not good for those of us with less strength in our hands. He took that on board and became less of a crusher after then. So he really did believe in a firm handshake.