School starter

[Rosiep93]

So my daughter will be 4 on the 29th August which means she will be starting school about a week later.
I don’t know if I should hold her back until the year after as I feel she is just to young.
She just turned 3 this year and She has only started to speak the last 3/4 months and compared to the other children she goes to nursery with she really is a baby. They tower over her, look and act older.
I need some advice if anyone has held their child back and started them in reception a year later and seen the benefit or was it a mistake?

Thanks x

Firstly you should know you have the legal right to "request" that your dc starts in Reception a year after she should, but that is all. You have no legal right to start her in Reception the year after she should.

You have the right to not send her to school, but the authority does not have to 'reserve' an out of year place for her, and starting directly in to Year one would be extremely challenging, IMO.

Secondly, she will change massively during this year. She has about 1/4 of her life again to continue to grow and develop during this year.

You also have to think about what happens when she is older....... what about when she should go to secondary ? At the moment, unless it is written in to an EHCP, there is no "right" to start secondary a year late either - can't imaging a jump from Yr5 to Yr 7 will be helpful.
Is she in an area where they take tests to 'pass' to their new school? How does that work?
What about if she wants to play in sports teams, and the governing bodies (quite rightly) only let people in the right age brackets play - she will be outside of the Teams all her friends play in.

I (notr anyone else on this thread) can't tell you what to do, but you need to go in to it with your eyes wide open. This isn't just about your current 3 year old, you have to think about when she is 11 or 14 or 18 too.
IMO, Reception is the MOST accommodating year for being aware of what can be considerable maturity differences between pupils.

Yes I understand that I need to request it from my local council/school if I want to delay.

I’m asking this question now as I need to apply for her reception place by January 2020 so I really haven’t got this long. I will speak with her nursery teachers next week and see what they think.

I’m trying to make sense of it all as o have been doing a lot of research about it but never come across where people have actually done it as I don’t want to put her in a situation where I chose the wrong decision.

Going in to reception is basically play and learning through play so it won’t be a massive change in that aspect but just the children as compared to my friends little girl who’s 10 months older then my daughter and seeing how much more advanced she is is what worries me. I get that she won’t be the only little one but still as my first born I panic.

Thank you for your reply x

I’d speak to the heads at the primary schools your considering/catchment depending on how over subscribed schools near you are. If they are supportive then at least you’ll know. My summer born son was fine in reception but year 1 has been a massive step up and I do sometimes wonder if he’d be happier deferred. But he had a social group from preschool that have been amazing and he is happy if finds work hard...

Starting at just 4 in England was a disaster for my August born son, but mainly because "oh he's young for his year, he'll catch" up was used for years to fob me off when he was struggling with reading/writing. He was finally diagnosed as dyslexic in year 5 when I moved him to a different school. When we moved to Aus his birthday automatically put him back a year, something I had begged for in England but had been refused. From then on he thrived and has just finished his post graduate studies as well as having a good full time job. Obviously every child is different but if you have the option to defer Reception I would consider it carefully. Two of my children have now finished school having been the oldest in the class (and there is an 18 month age range in classrooms here). It has never disadvantaged them socially or academically, if anything I have watched the younger ones struggle and I know quite a few parents who regret giving into peer pressure to send their children to school as soon as possible. Good luck whatever you decide.

My DS is now 11, also born on 29th Aug. I had real concerns as he was very small for his age, but aside from his size, he was ahead of most milestones.

He struggled with tiredness as it was a long day for him and he struggled with his fine motor skills, needing extra sessions to get him up to speed.

He thrived though, he is now in top sets and loves to learn.

I think it depends on the child and the school. The teachers at DS's school were mindful of the fact that all of the children were still very young, they were able to take naps if needed and supported throughout the year.

Thank you all for your replies.
My daughter only started speaking 4 months ago from saying her first word to now speaking in sentence which has come on very quickly from no speech to singing nursery rhymes and she is very clever with knowing her colours, numbers and shapes so I’m struggling to decide what’s best for her as I don’t want to hold her back and she wants to steam ahead but also don’t want her to fall behind everyone else.
Such a hard decision to make so I’m going to have a chat with her nursery teachers and get some advise on that.
Xx