How can i stop myself doing this?

[Namechangedtoprotect]

Yesterday for me was a low calorie day and I didn't find it difficult to stick to it despite lots of free food being available.
Today however was a normal day calorie wise and I felt it so hard to stay away from free food. I must have mentioned the free pastries a few times. I hit the sandwiches even through bread hurts my stomach.
How can I stop eating free food and obsessing about it? I have more than enough money to buy my own food. It makes me look greedy and desperate.
I was once poor and hungry and can't shake these bad habits.
Any ideas?

What's the problem with this behaviour, OP? Is it how you think you're perceived, or weight issues?

It's how I'm perceived. I started a new role and it's a small team and I don't want to get a reputation of a free loader.

Namechanged you poor thing, you're really giving yourself a hard time about this. I have never ever noticed how much or little another person ate in a buffet situation, and even if for some weird reason I noticed someone was eating loads the last thing I'd think is "freeloader", I'd just think you were ravenous! It's well-observed that everyone goes berserk around buffets anyway, hotel breakfasts are murder to the weight watcher. Have you (and I hate to sound like a MN cliche) sought any help in resolving any issues you might have from when you were struggling? Being hungry has an enormous effect on mental health (to the point it's a pop culture trope) and it sounds like it left a lasting impact on your self-worth.

Sorry, I know you were asking for tips in restraining yourself and not an armchair psych diagnosis. On a practical note, since you said you were relatively unmoved by the food when you'd flicked the "fast day switch" in your mind, perhaps another eating rule for non-fast days could work, such as "no eating between 8am and 8pm", so you can still get enough food but not suffer the internal struggle of trying to navigate the food. I assume this food situation doesn't come up every day?

I should clarify I suggest this as a coping strategy to alleviate your immediate distress around the problem, and not as a long term measure. You can make things a bit easier for yourself by mentally removing yourself entirely from the struggle, but it isn't solving the real problem. I do really suspect (another MN cliche) CBT might be able to help you to view food in a more neutral way though, so you don't feel compelled to eat things that give you a tummyache, and might help with your issues with beating yourself up for being "greedy" as well.

And just to reiterate if it helps, which I know it probably won't - nobody, really, truly, honestly is calling you a "freeloader" or anything nasty, or thinking anything of your eating. Honest

Thanks, I do have issues around food. I've been doing 5:2 since Feb and have lost enough weight so I'm normal but I still hate the way I look. I swing between remembering when I was hungry and seeing myself at my fattest. The most important thing is not passing this on to my dc.