I'm not good at anything

[WhatsTheStoryToday]

I've arrived at the age of 40 (and a bit!) and realised there's nothing I'm particularly good at nor is there anything I love doing.

My life is plain, ordinary. I'm not a talented sportswomen or musician, I can barely run 5km and quit the flute before I even got my grade 1. Im entirely unremarkable.

I have a good job and DC of whom I'm proud but as for me, there's so very little to speak of.

Even worse if you ask me what I like doing, my "hobbies" or interests" I don't even know. I've always considered myself quite successful but now I have no idea what I base that on.

Is it just me? Are my expectations too high?!

Do you want to become good at something?

Do you do any stuff out of your work and family spheres?

Does it matter?

Some people are specialists and excel at eg the flute.

Others are generalists and do a little of everything but not a lot of any one thing. That sounds like you (and me).

A good job and DC you’re proud of sounds like good going to me.

I suppose I feel a bit rudderless. There isn't anything specific, but wish I had a "thing" but I don't know what that "thing" is.

I'll give you my favourite quote, OP - the final lines of Middlemarch about Dorothea:

"But the effect of her being on those around her was incalculably diffusive: for the growing good of the world is partly dependent on unhistoric acts; and that things are not so ill with you and me as they might have been is half owing to the number who lived faithfully a hidden life, and rest in unvisited tombs."

40 is a good age to think about what you want to do next though. You don't have to excel at anything but it might be time for you to think about what you'd like to try doing - sport/music/education/hobby etc. Very few of us excel but doing something can be fun too.

That's a good quote pallisers - thanks!

It's not just the excelling, or not, it's the not having an interest. Honestly if I dropped dead tomorrow there'd be nothing noteworthy to say. Which feels a bit sad really.

I recognise myself in your post. I spent so long trying to have a baby and now joyfully have the baby but I feel a bit lost about me. I'm 43. I'd like to develop some interests - and there are lots of things I am - or used to be - interested in - but finding time to spend on things not related to the house or child is hard.

Anyway - it's not just you.

I’m the same OP but dont have dc or a dh. So at least you have the fact that you are a great mother and loving wife.

Snap at 64 I feel the same except that I can't run a 100m even and no longer have a job.

You have a good job and loved DC which are 2 things more than some have at your age.

Others may or may not have passions or hobbies but that doesn't make them more successful than you.

Do you feel there is something missing? Or that you think that you ought to feel there is something missing? (if that makes sense)

Happened to me. Except it wasn't my cleaner, it was my plumber!
Definitely wasn't me or my 6 month old son at the time lol.
One minute we have a full bottle of whiskey, the next half of its gone. I felt sorry for him so I didn't say a word. My husband on the other hand was really pee'd off. So it is possible for all those laughing. Just saying.

Wrong thread, shahira , but do tell us more!