Please share with me your embarrassing toddler in supermarkets moments

[PolarTeddy]

Please, make me feel better!

In shopping dh at one end of the aisle and me and dd at the other end. When dd decides to shout and point in her loudest voice, is that my new daddy up there. Every one turned looked and you could see them all thinking that poor girl is only 3 how many daddy's has she had!

God so many times.

My husband was in the forces, away for three months. My daughter reached out the trolley, hands outstretched and said to a random man "dada" . The look on his wife's face was a picture, I was late twenties they were in their fifties, fortunatly my husband quit not longer after that.

She also was in the gp waiting room, in the middle of the room was toys. About forty people sitting in seats round the four walls. Did the loudest fart you've ever heard. The room erupted in laughter and she looked around her bewildered and shouted "will I do that again".

Eh no darling that's ok,

Full trolley at the checkout with toddler in a rage in the trolley seat. She grabbed a pint of double cream off the top of the shopping and hurled it on to the conveyor belt where it smashed open. Cascade of cream all over the conveyor belt. The checkout lady and I just stared as it went round and round on the conveyor belt. Didn’t go back for some time.

Years ago I was in Asda with my 2 year old DD in the trolley seat. Weaving the aisles alongside us was a trolley with a perhaps 18month old, who was screaming. We've all been there but I have to say, it was incredibly irritating, the mum was just smiling at him like he was delighting us all with his vocal talents. I assume PFB

Anyway, despite my best efforts I managed to somehow "sync" my shopping with this woman and every time I went down an aisle, 30 seconds later she would follow me. My daughter had clearly got fed up listening to the AC (Annoying Child) son and when we crossed each others' path, both going opposite directions', my daughter pointed directly in this boys face and shouted "STOP ITTTT!!" A very uneasy silence followed with the mother of AC looking at me in shock and me just sort of gaping at the situation. I scurried off and paid

Some 8 years later, "STOP ITTT!" has become a sort of motto in this household ever since, to silence someone who is being irritating

Getting on the bus and pointing to a fat man and saying: his baby tummy!

"Then when we got outside he was so sorry and said he wouldn't be a 'scrace again and then told me in the car it wasn't the end of the world."

That made me smile, @BiMum5 - what a sweetheart! Though I can understand why you weren't thinking that, at the time.

The most harassed I’ve felt in a supermarket was dealing with toddler obsessed with opening and closing doors/gates whatever, and the supermarket inexplicably putting an alarm on the barriers between tills. It of course went off and someone had to come and turn it off. I managed to get toddler off play on the CAR ride, then he came to tell me to come and see and it went off again. I was torn between embarrassment and railing at whatever bright spark that hadn’t foreseen alarms going off 100 times a day...

My sister had a tantrum at the checkout once and family friend who was looking after her pretended she wasn’t with her

Not the supermarket but WHSmith, my youngest two age 1 and 2 were in the double buggy at the checkout when they spied two old ladies so started smiling at them, well obviously it got their attention and the ladies started chatting to them, next thing i hear is a gasp and some giggles from other people at the checkout as my 2 year old had just announced 'look at my willy' and whipped it out of his nappy to show the old ladies.......have never been in that WHSmith again!

Thank you for these. I laughed out loud at the cream one. I'm sorry it happened to you all but I do feel better.

I was about to post mine but was afraid of a barrage of "why didn't you just..." (to control your child) that would send me permanently into hiding.

I went to the supermarket for a flu jab yesterday so didn't strap 18 month old into trolley as I normally do. She's usually reasonably cheerful and content at the supermarket but not last night (to be fair it did take a while). I had her hand but she still managed to brush past a small display of shower gels and knock about five over and I was so flustered myself I then knocked them over again MYSELF after putting them back. Then we misguidedly went through the self service fills and she kept trying to pick up the bloody items from the bagging area and the self service machine kept getting cross and so did the attendant. I did try my best to control her but yesterday was not my finest parenting success!

My son shouting 'C*ock!' in Morrisons in front of some old ladies. He couldn't pronounce the letter L

Dunelm in the clock department. DS shouting cock at each one

My (then) 2 year old kept on about having a Lunchables whilst we were in Tesco. To keep him quiet I gave him one to hold. He was in his buggy and I had the basket balanced on the hood. Paid, left the shop and got halfway home before I realised he was still holding his Lunchables, which we hadn’t paid for. I was mortified but when I rand the store they just laughed and told me not to worry about it.

Aha, I'll win this.

Was with my parents in a French supermarket and my 5yo DD on a booze cruise and we found ourselves in the hosiery department.

For reasons known only to the visual merchandisers of Calais, there was a mannequin sporting a fishnet, crotchless bodystocking on display.

DD points to this and loudly announces 'you've got one like this, Mummy!'

Did I mention my father was there? And I honestly do not have any such garment, crotchless or otherwise.

That was a long drive home.

My DS told a man he smelt "yucky" and asked if needed a bath. I wanted the ground to swallow me up. The poor man looked mortified

My DD was sat in the trolley in the supermarket. I was browsing the fruit and veg. A man came up to me and said "do you know your child is playing with a knife". I turned round and she was holding a large carving knife. Thankfully still in its packet. They had some on a display within her reach and I hadn't noticed. I was mortified.

Telling random shoppers she is ‘starving because the evil stepmother (pointing to me, her not step mum) doesn’t feed me. She locks me in the shed with the animals.’ Fucking Cinderella

DS aged three, at the top of his voice in Tesco: I've got a willy Mummy.
Me: Yes, yes you do
DS: I've only got a little willy.
Me: Yes, wouldn't you like a biscuit...
DS: Daddy's got a HUGE willy
Me:

Waiting for the embarrassment to subside, DS pipes up again: You haven't got a willy have you Mummy? I'm sorry.

I had my DS also calling out ‘daddy’ to random men.

Myself, as a toddler pulled a tin of beans from a display , and the whole pile fell, lucky no one was hurt, but my dm was embarrassed

My nana used to pick me up from nursery and we would go on the bus. I once embarrassed her by singing top of my voice, “ McEwans is the Best Buy, the Best Buy, the Best Buy, McEwans is the Best Buy, the Best Buy In Beer, aye McEwans, the Best Buy in Beer” The folk around her laughed , but she was mortified and teetotal!

DS wanted to carry the basket, but it was far too heavy (he was 2)
He lay on his back and screamed in the middle of an aisle
Dd (who was 6) calmly walked over to him and gently slid him to one side with her foot so he wasn’t in the way and then we both just stood and chatted until he got over it - which was pretty quickly once he realised he wasn’t getting a reaction
She’s a teen now and “hates” him but in the early years she was absolutely amazing with him and he calmed down much faster for her than anyone else, he worshipped her(suspect he still does)

My son watched Fawlty Towers with his dad. One day in Boots he walked off goose stepping and doing Seig Heil gestures with one arm and hand and had two fingers from his other hand under his nose for a moustache. He didn't even know at that age what it was about but he'd seen John Cleese do it and thought it was funny.

Another time he did a big smelly fart while I was talking to someone, the other woman and I tried to ignore but he was grinning from ear to ear.

When DS was about five I informed my DP one day that I had put bleach in the toilets. He replied (as he would), "Thanks for telling me. I don't want to burn my balls off."

We had no idea that DS had heard this brief exchange.

A couple of days later I went to the supermarket. When I was putting the shopping on the conveyor belt DS said loudly, "Mummy, you have bought bleach." I confirmed that this was indeed the case.

There was a brief silence, then (again, LOUDLY), "Are you going to burn Daddy's balls off?"

I couldn't look at anyone. I packed and paid and got out of there as fast as I could. And to my credit I didn't leave my son behind.

@JWrecks this has to be the best toddler story ever, you had me crying with laughter

"Mummy"
At the top of her voice
"Why have you got a hairy bottom"

I don't, we'd just been to the loo, and I'd not bothered shaving for a while

My son screamed for 10 minutes (which felt like 10 hours) because I walked in the vicinity of the toy aisle and he decided he wanted a car. 10 mins of hysterical ‘want a dar, mummy want a dar’ I shut him up by getting him to choose a cake. Excellent parenting I know

When my Ds was about 3, after behaving badly in the supermarket, I was very cross. He rolled into a ball, and shouted, please don't hit me again mummy...Groan. The looks of disgust, from strangers, will stay with me, forever