DP very clumsy with newborn

[EmeraldIsle81]

Hey Mumsnet
Advice please, my DP is very clumsy with our newborn DS, (now7weeks).
Tonight he walked into the bedroom holding the baby in the crook of his arm and banged the baby's head off the door! He didn't even notice!!! I had to tell him what he'd done, just mumbled oh sorry and handed me the baby.
Lots of other incidents of clumsiness where baby is at risk of getting hurt. I'm finding it hard to trust him now with looking after the baby on his own.
What to do?

My ex was playing with my 12 week dd on the bed, raised her up to play aeroplanes and banged her head against the wall. He then denied doing it!

She was fine though.

We nearly killed our 10 day old on 1st day home from hospital!

Lay him on the bed and the dog came in the room, launched himself up and straight over baby on to the bed.

I still have shivers thinking about it and ds is 10 now.

It was both our faults

If the baby didn't cry this is a total nonevent. Chill.

I once accidentally cracked baby DS1's head into the bottom of the mantelpiece. He DID cry. A lot.

You can nicely ask your DP to be a bit more careful/aware, but honestly babies are really pretty tough and if you get to 6 months without doing worse yourself, I'll eat my hat.

I'm glad the baby isn't hurt.

I wonder if you should maybe raise the possibility (with your HV?) of whether there might be any possibility you have PND?

There is no shame in having PND and I am not suggesting that you would have to have PND to react as you have. Not at all.

But it strikes me as a thing that might be worth thinking about. The worst they can do is reassure you there is not problem.

If the baby didn't cry I think you are overreacting a little. For the sake of your relationship and your partners parenting confidence do try not to micromanage him with the baby. I made that mistake and it took a long time for DH to bond with the baby as a result.