How long after you put kids to bed do you stop hearing from them?

[magicmallow]

My 6yo's bedtime routine is doing my head in. He will try any distraction to avoid going to bed on time. We do a story together, sometimes I allow him to read to himself. Then he will keep getting up and out of bed or scream "muuuummmyy" louder and louder until I shout back at him and go in. It does my head in. Audiobooks seem to keep him awake longer, except certain ones that work but he refuses and asks for different ones.

Sometimes on a school night despite putting him into bed around 7.30 he might not go to sleep until after 10pm!

What do you do when your kids shout at you to come in after bed time etc?

I'm a LP and it's tough as I need my chill out time. Any pointers welcome.

I read a story, lights out, music on, arm around them and sit with them until they sleep. Usually takes about 10 mins.

DD 3, we say goodnight, shut door and that's it until morning.

DS 2 we have to rock him to sleep then hopefully he'll sleep through but usually doesn't...

I used to let mine stay up downstairs with me and dad. It was quite cosy.

(they both have stories first. DD has always been an excellent sleeper. Luck, not judgement. You aren't doing anything wrong.)

Straight away. I read a story, say goodnight and close the door, at around 7.15pm. Hear from them again the next morning (unless ill maybe). They’re 5 and 4 (the 9 month old isn’t quite so obliging!)

Exactly the same with my 6 year old. Will not sleep until 10 but is never tired

sometimes I allow him to read to himself

If he wants to read to himself in bed, let him. Especially if you are wanting peace?

Straight away usually unless they are ill. I've two. I dunno whether I've just been lucky with their personalities or something... I have always been very no nonsense with sleep though because it's very important to me.
My eldest who is 4 knows that were he to wake me up for a non legitimate reason there would be hell to pay. Ive also never put them to bed if they didnt seem tired. So I dont stick to a particular bedtime. 7.30pm is the earliest either of them have ever gone to bed.
My littlest is 1yo and very occasionally she doesnt go straight to sleep and has a bit of a shout. I only go back if she is genuinely distressed though. I did that for my son too... I'd not go in for just being called. Just say calmly 'no' and leave him to it if he said mummy or got out of bed. I'd never go through the routine again. Just said no, didnt engage, turned the light back off if hed turned it on and completely ignore.
That said I've luckily never had extreme problems with them fully screaming or anything so I dont know what I'd do if that happend.

Mine are fairly good at going to sleep (less good about staying asleep all night )

My 6 year old does prefer me to stay with her till she’s asleep though, finds it hard to unwind otherwise and will just get more hyper instead. I don’t mind as it only takes her 10 min to fall asleep if I stay with her. Worth a try OP?

Do you think he is tired and just refusing to sleep (overtired maybe?) or not tired enough?

My DD is an absolute angel. Once I've read to her and said goodnight, we don't hear anything from her till the morning.

My ds mucks about for ages. Then comes down again to use the loo and asks us to tuck him in again.

Could be worse.

I'm a LP and it's tough as I need my chill out time

I actually don't think there's anything wrong in explaining to him that you also need some time to rest after a busy day.

Mine are almost asleep before I walk out of the room.... If they are awake after half an hour they think they've been awake all night!

My 2 year old will usually keep getting up for about 30 mins. Usually saying he wants a cuddle. Some nights it's every 5 seconds others every 15 mins.

I don’t hear from them. Bed by 7.30. They do get up at 5.30 though, but I guess you can’t have everything.

Usually 10-15 mins but they are fond of occasional nights bickering, laughing and loud whispering for an hour or 2.
1130 was the latest, that was middle of summer holidays and littlest small would not stop singing and humming to himself while Big small slept. His special trick is repeating the same few lines of a song, not loudly but loud enough to drive you mad, he can do it for hours.

Can you tell him that you are going downstairs to have a cup of tea but you will come back and tuck him in again later, as long as he lies down quietly and stays in bed? This sometimes works on my 5 year old... Audiobooks sometimes work too. Failing those I have to sit in his room til he goes to sleep.

Reading that back I've made it sound almost cute when he sings and hums to himself, it really is nothing short of a war between us and has been for about a year he's 4. He laughs at me when I come up the stairs and then he pretends to be asleep while chuckling.

I ignore it until I do end up hollering "Stop singing, Be quiet, give it a bloody rest" up the stairs so the neighbours must think I'm a cow because he is too quiet for them to hear it but I can....usually from 730 -9ish.

You cannot force a person to sleep OR stop them humming sadly, I'm lucky that he's just started school so it's happened once or twice this term instead of most nights, but do understand the desperation..

My 6yo rarely deactivates before 10pm. Both of mine have been night owls since infancy.

He does get tired... just not at night when it would be useful!

If they're quiet and resting, I let them get on with it. I had a stupidly early bedtime for years that had no connection to my sleep habits. I'd keep track of time by following the adverts and theme tunes of TV programmes. First The Bill, then the drama after like Van Der Valk or Crocodile Shoes. I'd get moaned at if I was caught reading at the crack of the door or by street lamp. So I've never seen much point in an arbitary bedtime just because.

I agree with you Shiny.