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Original poster

Slept with ex - Regret it

25 replies

Tinkertite · 15/10/2019 19:31

Name changed as don't èe this thread to follow me around.

Ex cheated on me in July and he told me but we split up. Last night he came round and apologised and brought wine for me and chocolate.

I had about 2 glasses and then he kissed me. I don't know why but I kissed him back and we slept together.

And I regret it 😞. I don't know what to do either

OP posts:
RueCambon · 15/10/2019 19:36

You dont need to do anything. You know how you feel. You are certain about how you feel which is useful.

Original poster
Tinkertite · 15/10/2019 20:10

We had unprotected sex but I took the morning after pill this afternoon.

He's been messaging today asking if he can get a second chance and that he won't cheat again.

OP posts:
maidenover · 15/10/2019 20:13

Tell him to go fuck himself and chalk it up to experience.

Interested in this thread?

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Relationship problems
C0untDucku1a · 15/10/2019 20:16

Yes agreed.

‘No. Goodbye.’

Original poster
Tinkertite · 15/10/2019 20:39

I've told him no. Last night he seemed nice but today he's been the same as before.

OP posts:
C0untDucku1a · 15/10/2019 20:48

Do you have children?

Original poster
Tinkertite · 15/10/2019 20:55

Yes we have a 3 yearold DD together but yesterday she stayed over at my mums.

OP posts:
C0untDucku1a · 15/10/2019 20:57

Ah ok. I was wondering why you were giving an ex the time of day. Now it makes sense.

user1493413286 · 15/10/2019 20:59

Draw a line under it and stay firm that it’s over. These things happen and they act as a reminder that some people arent to be trusted

AnneLovesGilbert · 15/10/2019 20:59

Is he still with her?

Don’t do it again. He’s messing with you.

Divebar · 15/10/2019 21:02

It’s fine... you’re human so don’t beat yourself up about it. He’s familiar and sometimes that can be comforting .... especially as the break up came about as a result of his cheating and not a choice you would have otherwise made.

Original poster
Tinkertite · 16/10/2019 13:00

No he isn't with her and he's moved to his mum's.

OP posts:
TipseyTorvey · 16/10/2019 13:16

Do you know why he's not with the other woman now? Don't beat yourself up at all but I would question why he's back being keen. You need some space from him now to get your head together. Perhaps tell him you need a 2 week no contact break to get your head together. Then use it to read some books or see a therapist to work through what you're feeling. It's so easy to take them back because you just want everything normal again but it can't be if there's even an iota of doubt that you can trust him. Be careful.

Original poster
Tinkertite · 16/10/2019 13:28

He isn't with the other women because he had a ONS with her and admitted it because he felt guilty

OP posts:
Lamentations · 16/10/2019 13:29

Do you love him? Is he a good father?

Original poster
Tinkertite · 16/10/2019 14:26

I don't know if I love him. He is a good father.

OP posts:
Lamentations · 16/10/2019 14:42

Ok so I guess you either maintain your firm 'no' to reconciliation and put last night behind you because of course you can't undo it.

Or... you think about whether this is something you can get past. Only you know whether you could rebuild trust. From what you've said he did something (enormously) bad, understood it was bad and admitted it to you. It would appear that he is serious about wanting to be with you.

There's no right answer. Some people can get past an infidelity and some can't.

Was he good to you aside from this? Did you see yourself with him long term?

Doyoumind · 16/10/2019 14:46

It's easy for these things to happen. If you regret it and you are feeling you were right to end it in the first place, see it as being a positive that it's reinforced your feelings.

It's not the end of the world. You can move on just as you were.

Original poster
Tinkertite · 16/10/2019 14:48

Yes he was good to me apart from this and I did think we would be together for a while.

OP posts:
pusspuss9 · 16/10/2019 15:47

from what you've said I would probably give him another chance. He obviously has a conscience.

letsjog · 16/10/2019 15:52

It's really tough OP.

He admitted to you straight away. At least that's something. It doesn't make what he did any better at all, it's still hideous and disgusting but at least he owed up to it ASAP rather than you finding out his deceit and him denying and trying to gaslight you like lots of men do on here.

It's a very complex subject especially when a child is involved. But you did say you regret sleeping with him which might be all the indication to how you really feel?

Original poster
Tinkertite · 16/10/2019 16:08

I don't know how I feel as I regret sleeping with him but it was because I haven't forgave him for cheating and now he thinks I will get back with him.

OP posts:
MitziK · 16/10/2019 16:22

Don't do it (or him) again then.

Sorted.

Original poster
Tinkertite · 16/10/2019 17:10

I wish I didn't have to see him again but I've got to as he comes and picks dd up when he has her.

OP posts:
TipseyTorvey · 16/10/2019 19:18

This is not a simple scenario at all with dd involved. Do you think he'd agree to counselling, it can work wonders for getting all the feelings out and agreeing a framework of rules for going forward eg you have complete access to his phone and he can't go on work nights out unless you're totally clear who's out and what time he's home etc. He's going to have to accept he needs to build trust again.

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