Help - school trip and sick bug - wwyd??

[bookwormsforever]

DS is 12. He's due to go on a 4-day school to to France tomorrow. Thing is, he's emetophobic. A boy in his class was sick in class on Monday - he was due to go on the trip. DS didn't eat all day and came home and cried, he was so worried. I can just see the worry and fear in his eyes and I feel terrible for him. I wish I could take it away.

He said he's scared of being on the bus - 9-hour journey - and someone being sick, as a bug is going round the school. He's scared the boy from his class will go on the trip and everyone will catch his bug.

DS also has a bit of a cold, a temperature amd sore throat. Not sure how bad it really is but I think he's playing it up to get out of going on the trip.

He went away with the school in summer and enjoyed it, but really missed home.

WWYD? Send him or keep him at home? I hate the thought of him worrying all the time. I hope he'd have a great time, but what if he got ill?

Have you ever taken him to the GP about this or thought about it at least, to get him some help. I went through the exact same thing when I was a bit older than your son and it got to a point where I was too scared to leave the house for a while. I think you need to try and get it sorted before it gets worse.

I'd convince him to go because I personally think that if you keep him at home then it's like the phobia has "won" if he misses this trip then he'll end up missing out on a lot more because unfortunately bugs go round all the time and you can't let it stop him doing
The things he enjoys

Yes, he had private counselling for it a couple of years ago. I think he needs more now. No time before tomorrow, though.

I know what you mean about missing the trip and 'giving in'. We've talked about all the times we've gone somewhere and done things and he's been fine. But he has fixed beliefs about things like sick bugs that are not helpful.

Thanks. How did you sort your phobia?

Your poor son. I am very similar in the sense I hate it. I dread my kids bringing it home. I worry my DD will start with it when we are out. I hate it when parents at the school gates tell me they have had sickness. It's horrible when you are scared.

As long as he washes his hands etc he should be ok. After someone has finished vomiting I am sure it's only contagious through bad hand hygiene.

I'm not sure what I would do but would probably give him the choice this time and perhaps see his doctor about getting him some support. Mines only started as an adult triggered from my then one year old starting with a vomiting bug at my mum's five minutes after getting out of a taxi. It was awful. Then she got one 3 days bed re Christmas one year which made me so anxious that we'd be throwing up for Christmas. X

My mum was a huge support for me as she just talked me through how irrational it all was as much as she could, and then when I was in a situation where I would panic about it I just had to really talk to myself and repeat the things that my mum had said to me. I just always told myself that even if I was to get poorly it wasn't the end of the world and would pass quickly and that was if I even caught it, I did this regularly and sort of forced myself into situations that I previously would have been too scared to get involved with and then within time it just got better.

Like I said in my previous post, I'm a big believer in not letting these things win because it can really affect your life. I definitely still have emetaphobia I don't think it ever really goes away I think you just learn to cope with it better.

I'm sure he will feel much better if he goes on the trip, especially if he doesn't catch anything and then it's one step closer for him to hopefully overcoming it

Thanks. I have been trying to reassure him but he has some fixed ideas about things. He’s gone through half a bottle of hand wash today...

I think it really depends on how distressed he is.

I think you probably need to discuss the symptoms with a GP though. Going through a bottle of hand wash in a day sounds more like OCD than emetophobia.

OCD and emetophobia often go hand in hand. Thanks, Stompy.

I would probably let him stay at home as hes only young and is not 100% himself plus sounds very distressed. I would also take him to the doctors though to try and get him help as it sounds like it could have the potential to spiral out of control.

If there’s a sickness bug doing the rounds then chances of someone being sick are quite high. If he hasn’t got the coping mechanisms to deal with that then the risk is that this spirals for him. I think I’d be inclined to keep him off and get him that extra counselling. I’d say to him it’s more because he’s been feeling unwell himself rather than making it all about his phobia.

OP I think it might be worth keeping him home. I know that isn't what you want to hear but I am emetophobic and had anxiety about it severely as a child.

I went on a school trip while it was particularly bad and someone was sick (due to secret drinking but didn't make me feel better). I spent an entire night crying my eyes out and refusing to go back into the building and the rest of the trip having panic attacks and feeling sick because my parents couldn't pick me up (no fault of their own!). It was awful and really damaging, I was afraid of going away for ages after that.

So sorry you're in this situation

Thanks, all. He didn't go.

I think you were kind not to force him to go, he didn't sound very well tbh.
Hope you both have a lovely week anyway.

You sound like a lovely mum. He’ll get there.

So glad to hear you kept him home!
I was quite anxious for him just reading this!

I know, I do feel for him, but I've been trying to get him to use his words and say how he's feeling instead of pretending he's doing something for another reason. So today he's making out his cold and sore throat are much worse than they really are.

If he'd told us months ago how he felt we could have cancelled his place and saved £££ too...

I'd much rather he said he was worried about x y or z. I know he's young but he's old enough to start doing that, I hope. He's quite emotionally literate.

I think it was the right thing to do. He came downstairs in tears this morning. I'd have hated to send him away in that state, and he would have been teased...

Onward and upward.

I'm sure you have looked into lots of things. Milton hand gel claims to kill viruses and bacteria and mentions norovirus on the back. I carry that on me in the winter.

Also Apple Cider vinegar ever day. There are lots of things on the internet to say it kills norovirus etc by changing the pH balance in the gut. I've also read people saying it's not true. But lots saying it works! Grape juice is another that apparently helps. Maybe some probiotics too. Id get him some of the Milton to keep in his bag.

I totally understand where he is coming from. It would be so unpleasant to start with a vomiting bug away from home. It's unlikely to happen but knowing someone could be there carrying it is going to freak out anyone abit phobic.

As a kid I was rarely sick. Years and years o went without being sick. I'm not sure if that's why it's such a scary thing to me now I'm 30.

I hope he's ok and it will get easier for him as he gets older. In the future maybe a travel sickness tablet might help him relax as you can say you won't be sick with these. X