I've been married for 5 years together for 12 and love my 40 year old DH very much, we are the same age. We generally get on very well and he is a great husband and father. My problem is with communication, I am a talker and wear my heart on my sleeve. I give out compliments and make an effort to make him feel valued. He takes his fair share of chores and parental responsibilities. My one gripe is that he never talks about his feelings and finds it difficult. This has caused issues when I have needed reassurance in the past. He doesn't give compliments or reassurance as freely as me and I appreciate we are all different and that doesn't necessarily mean anything. He is very supportive in alot of other ways but I miss this aspect of a relationship. I gained alot of weight during my pregnancy (DD is now 8 years old) although I did lose this after birth I was pretty miserable during the pregnancy as I received no reassurance from him despite asking for it on many occasions and ate more because of this. I felt vulnerable, fat, tired, old. I usually try to make the best of myself and like to wear make up and nice clothes, we are similar in build and activity.
The current situation is he wants to take part in a boxing match. He has never done anything like this before but a girl he works with has suggested this. She has a friend who runs a boxing club. It will involve training for 8 weeks near where she lives. She walks to work (5 miles plus) and occasionally he gives her lifts if he is in that part of town. We live 8 miles in the opposite direction. He tells me about all the office banter (mainly men) and whenever he talks of her it is about her sex life as she shares the details of this with the entire office it seems. From where and how and even details of size and shape of dicks she likes!? I wonder if she is trying to impress the all male office? She is 25 and goes to the gym and keeps fit and I can't help feeling irritated when he talks about her. Although I tell myself there is nothing going on and I trust him I don't really want to hear about her goings on, I've made comments about how entertaining she must be to work with but feel she is immature and a bit trashy, I haven't voiced this as I don't want to appear jealous or a prude. I've met her on a couple of occasions and she has been perfectly nice. But in view of the way my DH has portrayed her AIBU to think that this new interest in boxing is to impress her? It will involve a fight in a nightclub in town with tickets for charity. We would all be dressed up and sat at a table while he fights (I find this prospect awful). I went quiet when he told me last night and we ended up having a blazing row as because I wasn't thrilled and excited for him as I usually would be if he took on something new, he knew I was unhappy. I tried to discuss his reasons for wanting to do this out of the blue and the connection to this girl. I told him I was concerned that this was to impress her, his reason for wanting to do this is he just fancied trying something new and the training would get him fit. He is generally fit but not a gym goer and has a lovely body but not toned and chisilled. We both have a love of cheese and cakes and a couple of wobbly bits. I've read up on the website and reviews and there are varying reviews of safety and some people have been hurt so that bothers me. Although he isn't stupid and would take all precautions as advised. He also rides a motorbike which we enjoy together so that isn't without risk. I feel like I am losing mind as I try very hard not to be a jealous wife but that is exactly what I became last night and it is ugly and we are barely speaking this morning. I do not think he is cheating but am questioning his motives for doing this, is he having a midlife crisis?