Crush at work ongoing 9months

[Vibey]

I posted in January about having a “moment” with a colleague where our eyes met and I felt a connection. I thought I’d get over it but It’s been 9months and I’m still getting strange vibes from him, there’s always an atmosphere when we’re near each other and he’ll stare at me when I’m talking to someone else. I Think about him, even dream about him.

I’ve even gotten a new job and have cut down hours at this job (saving for a house so need extra cash) to get away and stop thinking about him, but every time he appears, my heart skips a beat and I want him so badly.

Is it ok to keep thinking about him like this? I would never ever act on it. I never flirt or do/say anything inappropriate because I just can’t. But I enjoy the thrill of liking someone else and thinking about him.

Sorry haven't read your previous post. From sounds of it your already in a relationship/married?

Yes I am 😞. My dh is lovely and he’s loving towards me. We’re working hard atm to save up for a house. I feel disgusted with myself but I can’t snap myself out of it. I’ve been trying for 9 months.
I wonder if he feels the same because it can get very awkward when we’re talking and he stares at me. Even if he does, he’s never done or said anything and it’s good.

You're teasing yourself keeping these thoughts in your head. Thats like dangling chicken in front of a dog, he will grab it eventually.
You're only torturing yourself, if you dont plan on acting on these thoughts then why bother. Imagine if your partner had these thoughts about another woman, what would you think? Would you be okay with that? Most likely not, because you'd assume eventually he would be inclined to act on it even if he didnt intend too. Whats the point in risking a happy home and relationship for a petty 'thrill'

Grass isn't always greener on the other it's just a different field!maybe pay more attention to your relationship and what's lacking there for you want to look elsewhere x

Thank you. I need someone to talk sense into me. Appreciate the tough talk. I’d hate it if my dh thought about another woman. I’m a horrible person 😞.

Exactly theres nothing wrong with being friendly with someone and THATS IT nothing more dont hurt your partner and your relationship how long have you been together?is it worth risking it for someone that "Might"like to vs someone who LOVES you x

I'm ashamed to say a few months ago we had builders in. One was two years older than me and chatted to me abit. I ended up feeling some crazy things and dreaming about him for a few weeks. I am also in a relationship. I realised though that if I was single yes I would find him attractive and would like him but.... I am very happy with my current partner and it was just the first time in years (stay at home mum) that I got a chance to talk to a good looking bloke who wasn't negative and smelt nice 😂😂 it's normal to want the excitement again. I think that's all it is though. All relationships and people become less exciting as you fall into a settled relationship. Time will hopefully help clear your head. X

We’ve been together almost 15 years. 3 beautiful kids and have been through the worst things and still have come out the other end. Some close break ups but love each other too much. I think things have just got boring. He’s still very loving and makes me feel beautiful, but it’s all the same. I was quite young when we got together and I’ve never experienced another relationship or wanting someone like I did with dh. This is the first time in 15 years I’ve looked at someone else or have felt something for another man. Dh is my first and only love/relationship and I got lucky.

I think I’m hormonal actually. Haven’t been taking my contraceptives on time and haven’t actually been “affectionate” with dh for 2 weeks now because we’re both so tired.

Yep we have 2 children and things are very much work, kids and housework. One thing I did tell myself whilst having a crush was it would be the most ridiculous thing ever. He has no kids and moved back home with his mum 2 years ago. Hardly Gunna want me with my kids and house and wobbly mum tum lol. I honestly deep down would never of wanted to do anything anyway. It was just the thought of feeling passion again. I get where you are coming from. All you can do is try not to think about him too much. As soon as you let your mind wander it can make you think things that are not there at all. X

Maybe plan a night away together and pretend to be different people and have a dirty weekend together

Thank you for being understanding. Yes, it’s the passion that excites me.

Dirty weekend won’t be happening anytime soon. We have no one to look after the kids..but I’m having a shower and initiating tonight. Let’s see what happens!

Good for you!x