Fed up with son

[Selendat]

Name changed as could be outing

Son is 16. His behaviour at school is terrible. With getting into fights/dissecting the teacher etc. It's been bad since year 7 with disrupting lessons but now it's terrible and I don't know what to do.

He got into a fight last week and punched someone else in the eye. I had a meeting on Friday about his behaviour. The headteacher has been fair with him since year 7 but we don't know what to do.

Today he's been disrupting lessons and almost started fighting.

Any advice? 😞

Did he have problems at primary school? Has something happened to affect his behaviour in the last few years?

No he was fine at primary school although sometimes he refused to do work and sometimes disrupted the lesson. Nothing has happened to make him behave like this so I don't know what to do.

Do you punish him at home for the behaviour at school? I'm not judging just trying to get a full picture :)

dissecting the teacher

Being the parent of the naughty kid in class isn't easy, but please look for the underlying reasons for his behaviour. All behaviour is communication, especially when the kid cannot verbalise their difficulties.

Lots of kids with undiagnosed SN struggle at school and never seem to learn the consequences for their actions approach. They prefer to hide their struggles under either being the class clown or being disruptive and aggressive, anything to remove the focus on them not being able to do the work. The more they are struggling, the more intense their behaviour is although dissecting the teacher is extreme

For everyone's sake, ask to see SENCO and raise the possibility of undiagnosed AN/SN/SEN. If there's nothing, then you've ruled that out. If there's something to be investigated, then he'll get the support he needs.

Also see www.livesinthebalance.org/

Dissecting the teacher?! That must have been a wild science lesson. 🤣

In all seriousness, get him through this year and then into something he is interested in, something practical etc. Then maybe his attitude will change.

Thank you for your replies.

I meant disrespecting the teacher not dissecting. I didn't notice that.

Yes I punish him for bad behaviour at school.

I've also asked him why he misbehaves and he said he doesn't know. But he said he fights because people wind him up.

How does he do at school?
What’s he like at home?
What is his relationship like with you and other family members?

He’s struggling with something and it would help to get to the bottom of it.

He does ok when he focuses in the lesson and doesn't mess around. At home his behaviour is fine and he has a good relationship with me and other family members.

As others have said, he's struggling with something.

If you think of the events that've happened, is there any pattern?
Does he only mainly play up in maths for example?

The disruptive behaviour is a call for help, you need to help him get to the bottom of that.

No there's no pattern. He plays up in every lesson and fights at lunchtime (not every day Though).

He needs to see a counsellor!

He had anger management last year in school